Talk:Ryan Grant (running back)/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 04:55, 11 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Sportsfan77777! I should be pretty available this week to respond to any issues. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 13:32, 11 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think the Notre Dame coaches are notable enough for the lead.
I don't think his college yardage or TD count is particularly impressive either.
I think it puts his college career better into context to either say he started for one season or that he split time with future NFL player Julius Jones (or both).
Or combining the above points, you could say he had a 1,000 rushing yard season in his only year as a starter.
You should mention either that he never played a game for the Giants, OR that he made his NFL debut with the Packers.
Clarify he initially played five seasons with the Packers.
He played for the Redskins for a month, not a season.
The SB champ sentence should go before the Redskins sentence.
For the infobox, I think he was born in Suffern, NY, not Nyack. See for instance: (1) https://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/G/GranRy00.htm, and (2) https://web.archive.org/web/20060825114410/http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/grant_ryan00.html

Done. You may want to take a close look at these revisions, as a lot of the lead changed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:58, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would mention that he played CB in high school too: "also made 61 tackles and seven interceptions at cornerback and safety" from https://web.archive.org/web/20060825114410/http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/grant_ryan00.html
Don't repeat the words "championship game" in back-to-back sentences.
Similarly, get rid of one of the last two "Don Bosco Prep"s (e.g. They lost the championship...)

In the freshman paragraph, clarify that he was a backup to Julius Jones
"In running back Julius Jones' absence" ===> "With Jones suspended for the 2002 season due to academic violations"
"Willingham started Grant for" ===> "Grant started" (the coach is not so important)
Mention Air Force's ranking at the time.
What was Notre Dame ranked after they beat Air Force?
Before the last sentence in the sophomore paragraph with their record and ranking, mention Notre Dame's bowl result.
In the last sentence of the sophomore paragraph, clarify that this was Grant's only season where Notre Dame finished the year ranked.
In the junior paragraph, state Notre Dame's record at the end of the season.
Jones took over in the fifth game and ran for 262 yards and two touchdowns against Pitt, a school record, in a 20–14 victory. <<<=== In this sentence, clarify that this performance helped him win back the starting job.
but he split time with running back, Darius Walker <<=== Cite this. Also, did Grant begin the year as the starter? Clarify that in the first sentence of the senior paragraph.

Done with most of the recommendations. I disagree with two though. I don't see how Notre Dame's ranking after they beat Air Force is relevant enough to be included in an article about Grant (note the next sentences states their final ranking, which is more relevant). Regarding adding text about this being the only season where Notre Dame finished the year ranked, I again don't see this as a relevant enough piece of info to be included. It also would require me to editorialize a bit, as I don't see a source that says this. So I would have to source all four season results just for that sentence. Let me know what you think. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 03:56, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

In the first sentence (or second), say right away that he never played a game for the Giants.
There's a citation needed tag.
"almost bled to death" ===>> "was at risk of bleeding to death" (the other way sounds too dramatic for an encyclopedia)

After Wynn suffered a shoulder injury in week 8, Grant took over in the second quarter against the Denver Broncos and ran for 104 yards in a 19–13 overtime win. <<<=== Clarify that this performance won him the starting job.
Grant started each of the last ten games for the Packers <<<=== The career stats say he only started 7 games. (If he first started in Week 9 and there are only 17 weeks of the season, he couldn't have started 10 games.)
Grant was voted the FedEx Ground NFL Player of the Week twice for the games played on November 11–12 and December 6–10 <<<=== State the week numbers instead of the dates.
Instead of linking the playoff game in "were 42–20 winners", link it earlier in "divisional playoff game"
Grant however went on to rush for 201 yards and three touchdowns, both of which set franchise records for Packers' post-season games, as the Packers were 42–20 winners. <<<=== before this sentence, add a transition sentence. (e.g. Despite the early deficit, the Packers were able to stage a comeback.)
Instead of the link at "23–20 overtime loss", place the link under "NFC Championship game"
On August 4, 2008, he signed a four-year deal (add "with the Packers")
lost the Wild Card game ==>> lost their Wild Card game
He underwent ankle surgery on September 21, 2010 and was expected to be fully healthy by the start of the 2011 season. ===>>> He underwent ankle surgery on September 21, 2010, but was expected to be fully healthy by the start of the 2011 season.

an season-ending knee injury ==>>> a season-ending knee injury
Although a few teams expressed interest ===>>> Although at least one team expressed interest (I think that's what the source says?)

Is there a standard format for this chart from the NFL WikiProject? The Calvin Johnson one looks a little different (The first two columns have a darker background; The headers in the top left also look a little different).
Leave out the year in the caption of the 2008 picture. Otherwise, it looks out of place, given that it is not in chronological order.

Done. Not sure about a standard, but I converted it to the style of Calvin Johnson. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:35, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

You don't need to add to this section, but I'm surprised there isn't more info available.

Me too. My last resort was going through his Twitter, but he has like 15,000 tweets, so... « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:35, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

No plagiarism detected.
No bare refs.
Images seem fine.
This link doesn't work: Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Football - 2002 Individual Game-by-Game stats (info) http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/archive/02indgbg.html

Replaced the reference. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 03:03, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review Sportsfan77777. I believe I have addressed or responded to all of your comments. Note that I added a diff under each section showing all of the changes for that section. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 03:58, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gonzo_fan2007: Okay, looks good. I did some mostly minor copyediting; feel free to take a look at those changes. Passing! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 06:15, 16 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]