Talk:Sri Lankan Tamil nationalism/GA1
Hi, I will be reviewing your article, Sri Lankan Tamil nationalism and will add comments below as I go through the article. Please feel free to contact me. —Mattisse (Talk) 17:53, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
- I suggest adding a little background in the lead for reader not familiar with Ceylon/Sri Lankian history and who the major players are as described in the lead. Completed
- "This idea, however, has not always existed." - MoS, and especially FAC editors discourage the use of unnecessary words like "however". - This idea had not always existed. Completed
- "utilized" - used - it is simpler. Completed
- "The reformed legislative council, introduced in 1921, was based on principles of communal representation." - who introduced this council? Completed
- "political tension began to develop between the communities..." - not clear between which communities Completed
- "the Sinhalese" - needs wikilink and perhaps also a small explanation
- "The arrival of Protestant missionaries on a large scale from 1814..." - need to spell things out more for the general reader - The arrival of Protestant missionaires to Ceylon/Sri Lanka, or whatever wording you choose. Completed
- "Hindu Tamils" and "Hindu Shaiva Tamil" - again some contextual information would help. Completed
- "Arumuga Navalar led a Hindu Shaiva Tamil revivalist and reformist movement..." - Perhaps something like - Arumuga Navalar was the first to lead a Hindu Shaiva Tamil revivalist... - again to provide more info without the reader having to get all info from wikilinks.
- I have reworded part of the sentence. Does it address the concern ? Watchdogb (talk) 12:53, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
- You mention the "American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions, Methodists and Anglican churches" but then you say "to the threat to their native culture posed by the British colonial and missionary activities." - the general reader may not know the specific colonial background of Sri Lanka and a few sentences of explanation may help.
- "Navalar’s efforts to revive Hinduism..." - maybe a small explanation of the importance of Hinduism in this context. The general reader will not be familiar. Completed
- Communal Consciousness - although, according to the time line, this section occurred after the section above, it is much clearer in providing an overall context.
- "Colombo-centered developments" - this will have meaning only to the reader who already knows the information in the article.
- "Historic changes occurred in 1931: the reformed legislative council was eliminated, and the Donoughmore Commission, which rejected communal representation, was introduced." - who did this? The use of the passive voice is to be avoided per MoS.
- "Instead they introduced..." - is "they" the Donoughmore Commission?
- "communal representation" - explain versus "proportional representation"
- I do not know who the Sinhalese are.
- I have wikilinked to the article about the Sinhalese people. Is this sufficient ? If not, what would you like to be done ? Watchdogb (talk) 12:53, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
- "G. G. Ponnambalam" - how about - Tamil politician, G. G. Ponnambalam... - helps to give context so the reader can keep straight who all these people and factions/parties/ethnicities/communities were. Completed
- "From the introduction of the advisory council..." - I am trying to keep track, by looking back through the article, where the advisory council came from.
- "S. W. R. D. Bandaranaike" - would be good to give some identifying factors, "political leader" or "future Prime Minister" or whatever you think right. This goes for all the names you introduce without a description or identifying factors. Completed
- "first Sinhala-Tamil riot in 1939" - needs to be made clearer earlier in the article what the nature of this animosity is between these two groups.
- In general, the comments above apply to the rest of the article. The article contains a great deal of information and the reader needs some help in following it and more explanation of the terms and the background creating the situations you are describing.
- Also, I suggest that you shorten a couple of the paragraphs so the text is less dense. The way one paragraph follows another can help the reader follow what is happening.
- The image of S. J. V. Chelvanayakam has a request for deletion on it. You might want to check that out. Completed
- The references look good.
- I think this is a very good, well-written article. The problems are in making it more accessible to the general reader like me. I apologize for not knowing more, although I have followed the situation but only very generally. Please feel free to discuss with me any of my suggestions. —Mattisse (Talk) 18:57, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
- More comments
I have made quite a few changes to help the article be compliant with MoS and to clarify some of the wording. Could you review the article for the changes I made?
- I have reviewed the changes to the article and it is clear that the context is maintained while the article was simplified. Thank you very much. Watchdogb (talk) 02:35, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
Also, the references are not in a consistent format. Most of them use cite xxx but some do not. The format should be consistent.
- Some references are not in cite xxx format because they are references to books. For references to books, the is no need for cite xxx format and <ref> format is sufficient. These books are cited in the Reference section with Cite book format. Watchdogb (talk) 02:35, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
- No, "Up-country Tamils" are Tamils from southern part of India who were brought over to Sri Lanka during British Rule. This is covered in Sri Lankan Tamil people. Watchdogb (talk) 02:19, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
- What is the "Hindu Organ" used in the references, no. 21? Needs enough identification for a reader to be able to locate it.
- Do you have a reference for the last part of Ponnambalam's political program?
- Also, reference no. 17 does not have a page number. Completed
- (This last issue is something you should be aware of, but will not prevent the article from passing GA.) The reference format should be consistent. See Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Citation_styles. See also Wikipedia:Citation templates for templates if you decide to use them.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): Sets overall context b (focused): Focuses on historical issues
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias: Appears to be neutral on a subject that could be presented in a biased manner.
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.