Talk:Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith/GA1

GA Review

Ok, my first reviewing GA. Honestly, I wish GA were like FA consensus, but ah well. Tomorrow morning(its 10:00 PM when I'm writing this), I'll start the review process. Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 01:58, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ilikepie's comments

Ok, here it goes. Here are some issues I'd like the editors of the article to address.

Also, I'd like to note that you are allowed to cross out my comments if they're fixed, then sign each point.

Constructive Criticism

~~In my opinion, don't use redlinks unless your sure that they'd warrant a different article.~~ I was looking at WP:VAND version. ~~It this continues, I might fail it under criteria 5.~~ The vandalism stopped.
Not enough cites for ~~Soundtrack~~(crossed by reviewer), and Cameo appearances section.
Many Order 66 scenes were cut. I don't understand this.
~~Per my first point at comments that won't blablabla, choose one, no space(e.g. ==ABC==) or with one space (e.g. == ABC == as Notes has no spaces and the rest do.~~
~~At the end of the article, change the order of the sections so that it meets the last criteria here.~~
Be sure to use non-breaking spaces. One particular section offender is the Box office performance section, use them for things like $55.5 million per WP:MOS#Non-breaking spaces.
~~Per WP:ELLIPSES, such as Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo.... Change to 3 periods.~~
In my opinion When the sinister Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, unveils a plot to take over the galaxy, the fate of Anakin, the Jedi order, and the entire galaxy is at stake. seems a little dramatic. Reword it.
Sith holds the world record for most special effects used in a single film: 2,151 shots. Prose the last bit e.g. Sith used 2,151 special effects on a single film, a world record.

Like I said, first time reviewing, if you disagree about something, let me know. More will come under this siggy. Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 16:04, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Note:Below are suggestions to fix some things up from here.

Don't use sources such as IMDb per this. Try a Google search to look for other things. Like the thing says though, you can use it for ...certain film authorship (screenwriting) credits on IMDb... Those I can let slide.
Cite this paragraph: The post-production department began work during filming and continued until weeks before the film was released in 2005. Special effects were created using almost all formats, including model work, CGI and practical effects. The same department later composited all such work into the filmed scenes—both processes taking nearly two years to complete. Sith holds the world record for most special effects used in a single film: 2,151 shots.

Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 19:37, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

~~Cite 2 doesn't say he accepted, only that talks are underway.~~ Misunderstood the cited text.
According to him, Oldman is a friend of Rick McCallum's... Who's that? Make sure even if the reader knows nothing about this particular movie knows who everyone is in the prose. You mention him as producer later, but you can mention him now.

Thats all for now. Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 14:33, 2 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

As of this revision, ref 50 is needs fixing.
Many scenes Jedi deaths during the execution of Order 66 were cut. Still don't understand it. Are you trying to say that Many scenes concerning Jedi deaths during the execution of Order 66 were cut.?
- Those two were because I submitted the way it was to let the computer be used... fixed.
~~Awards and nominations section is also cite-less.~~
The audition was never chosen. A bit choppy. Recommend combining with another sentence.
- Fixed both. igordebraga ≠ 23:29, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 14:44, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Per WP:LAY#First paragraph, If the subject is normally italicized...its first mention should be both bold and italic. Star Wars is normally used italicized?
~~Per here, it says that paragraphs become hard to read once they exceed a certain length. The 3rd paragraph in the plot is rather long. Please divide. Same for 1st and paragraph of Production.~~
Anakin and Obi-Wan manage to break free, but Grievous escapes... Uh, whos escaping? Grievous or Anakin and Obi-wan?
~~Per WP:WTA#Point out, note, observe, don't use it here: Some critics noted that they view it to be the best of the prequels... There may be other uses I may have missed.~~

Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 21:06, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, here are some issues that you still haven't addressed, igordebraga.

Be sure to use non-breaking spaces throughout such as where there's a space between a number nad a unit like $55.5 million. The &nbsp ; would go after the 55.5 and before the million.
- Done.

Sorry for the confusion, non-breaking spaces arent created by a double space, they're created by typing in &nbsp ; without the space and the p. To make up for the trouble, right after I fix it up for you, PASS!Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 17:12, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Per WP:LAY#First paragraph, If the subject is normally italicized...its first mention should be both bold and italic. Star Wars is normally used italicized?
- Yes, it is (see both intros). igordebraga ≠ 15:56, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 13:49, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This section is close to gibberish. How about removing all the crossed over stuff, and make it more clear what is use signature and what isn't. The constant spamming of "apple is the best" looks rather stupid.
--IceHunter (talk) 22:23, 23 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments that won't affect my passing/failing of the article

~~Per WP:HEAD, Spaces between the == and the heading text are optional. You can removed the spaces just to remove the size of the article to help old browsers, but I don't really care.~~

Like I said, first time reviewing, if you disagree about something, let me know. More will come under this siggy. Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 16:04, 1 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

~~For cite #13-15, use {{Harvard citation no brackets}} per Template:Harvard_citation_no_brackets#Purpose.~~

Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 20:08, 5 August 2008 (UTC) What the hell is this? Who would dare ruin the good name of PiE by making this section? —Preceding unsigned comment added by CPO Pieman (talk • contribs) 22:41, 20 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Passing comments

Great article that meets all the critera. A bit long, but doesnt blatantly fail 3.a., but it gets an A+ for 3.b. It has excellent prose and meets 1.b. No vands around and meets WP:NPOV. Few images can be used. Excellent job to all contributers. Pass. Pie is good ^{(Apple is the best)} 17:53, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Nehrams2020's comments

At the request of Ilikepie2221, I've added a few comments on a few more issues.

~~Image:EP3 Poster.jpg needs a source for the image.~~ I also touched this up a bit, and expanded the FUR. --Nehrams2020 (talk) 00:29, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~There are multiple occurrences where the inline citation is not directly after the punctuation (such as ". [1]" or ") [2]"), make sure that that it follows directly after the period (".[1]").~~
~~"...and midnight screening gross was broken by The Dark Knight on July 18, 2008 with $18.5 million." Add a wikilink for the full date.~~ I added the wikilink myself. --Nehrams2020 (talk) 00:29, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
~~Some of the smaller paragraphs in the box office section should be merged together.~~
"Its total of $380,270,577 ranks it 8th all-time in the United States..." According to this, the film is now ranked 9th due to Dark Knight. Update this and make sure to update the access date as well.
For the "References to the original trilogy" section, I think that either more information should be included (possibly information from reviews of the film), or that it should be removed and the information incorporated into other parts of the article. It seems too brief to remain as is.

Altogether I think Ilikepie2221 did a good job, and the article itself is well-sourced. If you have any questions concerning the above points, please let me know on my talk page and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Happy editing! --Nehrams2020 (talk) 20:52, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My issues have been addressed, and it looks like just the remaining comments by Ilikepie2221 need to be addressed before it is ready to be passed. Good work. --Nehrams2020 (talk) 00:29, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]