Talk:Stephen Weir/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Kges1901 (talk · contribs) 23:26, 2 September 2019 (UTC)
I'll take this one. Kges1901 (talk) 23:26, 2 September 2019 (UTC)
In the lead,
- If cropped, this photo would be a better infobox image because it shows his face in detail
- and in the absence of its nominal commanding officer Major General Bernard Freyberg led the division for a period in 1944 add commas around 'Major General Bernard Freyberg'
- Two consecutive 'he retired' sentences at the end, not sure the age he died at is notable enough for the lead
In the body,
- Note that he was born Cyril Ettrick Weir in early life
- 6th Mounted Rifles seem like they are the same unit as the 6th (Manawatu) Mounted Rifles
- In 1931, and now a lieutenant, - unnecessary and
- link 1931 Hawke's Bay earthquake for the earthquake
- Note Minqar Qaim was during the Battle of Mersa Matruh
- Suggest including at least one of the unused images in the commons cat in the WWII section
- Mention when Weir became acting GOC of the 2nd New Zealand Division
- which had been abandoned by the Germans and leaving left- and right-wing Greek groups struggling for control of the country --> suggest contested by left- and right-wing Greek guerrillas after its abandonment by the Germans
- The date he formally changed his name is noted but not the gender of his children or the name of his wife?
- the couple's --> their
- Generals.dk is not necessary as an ext link because nothing there isn't in the article
- As a general suggestion, if you're going to take this to ACR or higher, the article is relatively short at 12.3 kb, so it should be expanded with details from secondary sources, for example [1] and the official history of the 2nd NZ Artillery Kges1901 (talk) 00:16, 3 September 2019 (UTC)
- Passing - All comments addressed. Kges1901 (talk) 00:08, 6 September 2019 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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