Talk:Sterling Archer/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 06:54, 31 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Okay I have been doing a review piecemeal over the last few days and am noticing some problems with the prose. There are a lot, but they could easily be fixed up. I am doing what I can as I read through, so the changes might need checking as I know nothing of this series. Currently I have just finished up to the Storylines section. Will stop here for now and give a chance for the nominator to address the points below. Feel free to respond to any of the comments. AIRcorn (talk) 12:13, 1 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I plan on addressing all of the issues by Friday. I apologize for the fashionably late response, but please do bear with me if I do not address the issues in time, as I have school to worry about. :) —DAP388 (talk) 03:51, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

I am wondering whether fictional should be used somewhere in the second sentence. It is pretty obvious, but it is possible that someone could think it based on a real organisation.
Similarly, critics have commended Benjamin's voicework, citing his delivery and distinctive monotone voice as highlights for the show Similarly to what?
He is named for the sterling silver baby rattle Woodhouse gave his mother shortly after giving birth to him, explaining that "a clapped out Arab whore traded it for a pint" at his bar. Who is Woodhouse? Don't get the explaining quote either, what is being explained?
He spent all of his primary and secondary educational years at a boarding school for over fifteen years, for over fifteen years does not fit in with this sentence.
Can Reed be introduced in the first sentence of "Personalities"
Archer is an alcoholic, and often uses his position as a secret agent to have sex, which often results in him being the subject of scrutiny; according to Pam Poovey, the Human Resources Director of ISIS, most of her work consist of managing sexual harassment complaints against him. Mixing 'in world' and 'real world views'. Maybe change "him" to "the character".
GQ's Dennis Tang proclaimed that as Archer progresses over time, the character's abrasive qualities have become less notable, as Archer becomes more affectionate with his peers. Is this as he progresses over time or as he becomes more affectionate?
This is indicative of revelations ... Is that right? Sounds awfully redundant.
"I think that remains the trick," I think this quote is a little long. The first two sentence fragments are fine, but the rest just really gets into excess detail without really adding much. Maybe look into paraphrasing it?
something that she "didn’t have before [...] She’s softened quite a bit towards him." This is a little confusing and doesn't flow well with the sentence, maybe better paraphrased. Not sure who is saying it either? Reed?
The ISIS spymaster... Archer I presume. Could be a little confusing as this is the first time he is termed that way.
who felt that in the instance of him collaborating with Lana and Cyril Figgis in "El Contador", Archer bullies Cyril to appear as an equal to her. Who is Cyril? Is he trying to appear as an equal to Cyril or Lana.
Would consider moving the storyline up one level. Then the characters would not need to be introduced twice.
He attempts to make amends with a resistant ex-girlfriend Lana Kane, What is she resistant to?
The situation is further exacerbated by Cyril Figgis, who is Lana's companion at the time. Companion can have a few meanings. How is it exacerbated? Could do with a little more information.
Concurrently, he had a brief relationship with secretary Cheryl Tunt. Concurrently to what?
By "Dial M for Mother", he becomes suspicious of Malory's sly tactics, which prompts her to affirm that the identity of Archer's biological father is unknown By Dail M for Mother" does not give a good indication of time. What season/episode is it? What do you mean by sly tactics?
Much of the second season of Archer is bestowed to the character identifying his real father. Doesn't bestow mean to give a gift?
Worried about her missing son, Malory sends nemesis Barry Dylan to rescue Archer from the KGB—Barry is later severely injured after falling from grabbing onto Archer's legs for dear life. Archers nemesis? If so why is he rescueing him? You also don't fall from grabbing legs.
Katya unsuccessfully attempts to kill Barry by jumping off of the roof of Archer's apartment building, sacrificing herself in the process. Trys to kill him by jumping off a roof?
Although the group thinks that he has entered into remission by the latter half of "Stage Two",[23] the following episode concedes that the tumor has progressed into Stage II breast cancer Again don't really know what Stage two is. And can an episode concede?
Treatment for the tumor consisted of sucrose pills and Zima, according to an evaluation commenced by Dr. Algernop Krieger, causing Lana and Archer to tackle a local Irish gang that has been smuggling anticancer drugs in lieu of the sucrose pills and Zima solution. This sentence is a bit awkward. Did the treatment cause them to tackle the Irish gang. Why the acording to a random doctor? How does "in lieu of" fit in?
Distraught by the death of his fiancée, weren't they married?
After a futile attempt, at what?
where Riley, Noah, and Archer are being harbored. Who is Noah?

Writer hasn't edited since the above comment, and the review's been up a month, so failing this for now. Wizardman 01:48, 30 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This article seems to confuse the word spymaster (someone who is responsible for managing a spy organization or network) with "super spy". 98.209.72.85 (talk) 14:28, 16 January 2013 (UTC)jwlowry[reply]