Talk:Sudanese Greeks/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Shushugah (talk · contribs) 19:11, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
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General comments
[edit]Avoid WP:WEASEL words, none of the usages of 'apparently' are necessary
Avoid phrases like "used slaves" which can be replaced with more humanizing language like 'relied on/benefited from slaved labour'.
I am concerned about the overlap/framing of Greeks in South Sudan, particularly for the historic periods where a distinction between Sudan and South Sudan is not meaningful in either articles. That said, linking to that article in Greeks in Sudan#See also would make sense.
Generally the prose,references are of good quality.
Excessive dictionary like wiki links =
[edit]A lot of the Wikilinks are to random definitions of words instead of relevant/related concepts, for example independence is linked, but no attempt is made to share a wiki link to the specific 1956 independence, which could be served with Republic of the Sudan (1956–1969).
Yet terms like power, ancient, cultural, identity are all wiki linked to generic definitions. When I expected local to be a similar example, I instead got an WP:EASTER EGG to Old Nubian language. Where it links to Sharia law, you could also link to the more specific/relevant examples of Sudan like Application_of_Sharia_by_country#Sudan.
Layout
[edit]The section Independent Sudan (since 1956) could be a level 3 section (and possibly renamed to simply Independence, of the same hierarchy as Modern times (Times should be lower case in Modern times).
Gallery section should not a section of its own, as it relates to only thing, the cemeteries and nothing mentioned in the article. See my image feedback below, but with regards to layouts, the section title is much too long, and it would benefit from being a level 4 section underneath Modern history/Independence
Images
[edit]Images are all free of copyright issues, however not all images are relevant or adequately displayed. For example the excessive number of detailed cemetery photos are included, without any explanation of their relevance, or if these people listed by name are notable or not. A short paragraph should be added to explain the history of the cemetery, with the overarching photo use, rather than undue individual images.
Additionally, some photos like File:KontomichlosStreet KhartoumSudan RomanDeckert23022015.jpg and File:WallPicture HellenicCommunity KhartoumSudan RomanDeckert23022015.jpg don't serve a very clear addition to the text or have encyclopedic tone. An external Commons link could be added in the external section with {{sisterlinks|Commons=Category:Greek diaspora in Sudan}}
I hope this review was useful and looking forward to working with you. ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 19:11, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments by Catlemur
[edit]- The way the names of the people in the Greek section of the Christian cemetery in Khartoum are displayed is inconsistent. Some are displayed in Greek while other names are transliterated, others are somewhere in-between. For example ΣΟUΓΑ ΡΕΒΙΝΘΗ contains a U which is not a Greek letter, moreover the first name is odd; is it ΣΟΥΛΑ by any chance? MARIANH E. ZOΓPAΦOY likewise contains an English R. ΔΙΜΗΤΡΙΟΣ should be ΔΗΜΗΤΡΙΟΣ.
- Following the suppression of the 1944 Greek naval mutiny, the British imprisoned the participants in a number of concentration camps across northern Africa, one of which was located in Sudan. This needs to be mentioned in the article.--Catlemur (talk) 20:15, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
Failing this GA for now
[edit]As no edits have been made since my review along with Catlemur's additional feedback, I am failing this GA. If someone wants to open up a nomination, and have made substantial changes since, they are welcome to ping me for a 2nd review. ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 02:12, 23 January 2022 (UTC)