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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:35, 9 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Spent a few days not reviewing GAs, returning to take on this massive article! --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:35, 9 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Remixes cover art → Remix package cover art
  • List 2015-16 as the recorded date as that is following on from the success of "Uptown Funk"

 Not done I can't as it is not true, it could have been written before. The only song which has recording dates for sure is 24k magic.

  • "and appears on his third studio album" → "from his third studio album"
  • ""That's What I Like" was written by" → "The song was written by"
  • "produced the track" → "produced the song"
  • "under the name Shampoo Press & Curl" → "under the name of Shampoo Press & Curl"
  • Target Shampoo Press & Curl to The Smeezingtons
  • WikiLink Atlantic Records
  • "released the track to Hot AC radio" → "released the song to Hot AC radio stations"
  • ""That's What I Like" is a hip hop soul, new jack swing, R&B and funk song." → "The song is a hip hop soul, new jack swing, R&B and funk track."
  • "mixed reviews from critics" → "mixed reviews from music critics"

 Not done they are not food critics for sure.

You should name them as music critics to maintain consistency with your other articles Kyle Peake (talk) 20:13, 15 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "considered the track to be one of the best on the album" → "considered the song to be one of the best on 24K Magic"
  • ""That's What I Like" was a commercial success" → "The song was a commercial success"
  • "It also reached the top ten" → "The song also reached the top ten"
  • "is the highest-charting single in the US from 24K Magic" → "stands as the highest-charting single in the US from the album"
  • ""That's What I Like" was the world's" → "The song was the world's"
  • "The song's music video" → "The accompanying music video for "24K Magic""
  • "Mars performed "That's What I Like" on awards shows" → "Mars performed the song at awards shows"
  • ""That's What I Like" received" → "The song received"
  • Should the remixes be mentioned somewhere?
Not really...they weren't that successful or had any impact.
  • Overall comment on the lead – you should only use the song or the track, rather than alternating between both for consistency, and the title of the song should only be written once in a paragraph.
Why? I don't get it

 Done

Background and development

[edit]
  • "Mars headed to the studio" → "the latter headed to the studio" as it's better than stating Mars too close to the first usage
  • "but his appearance" → "but Mars' appearance"
  • "deal with Atlantic Records they did not" → "deal with Atlantic Records, they did not"
  • "In 2015 Jonathan Yip" → "In 2015, Jonathan Yip"
  • "After helping Mars finish" → "After they helped Mars finish"
  • "At this point, Mars had shown them" → "At this point, Mars had already shown The Stereotypes"
  • "Mars would dance along to it" → "Mars danced along to it"
  • "This is due to the trap beats, which modernize the track and give it "bounce"." → "This was due to the trap beats, which modernized the track and gave it "bounce"."
  • "giving the single" → "giving the track" as it wasn't a single while being recorded
  • "giving you a day in the life."[7]" punctuation should be outside of quote for consistency
  • "was the first song Mars asked" → "was the first song that Mars asked"

 Done with small changes.

Production and release

[edit]
  • "Bruno Mars, Philip Lawrence, Christopher Brody Brown, James Fauntleroy, Johnathan Yip, Ray Romulus, Jeremy Reeves," → "Mars, Philip Lawrence, Christopher Brody Brown, Fauntleroy, Yip, Romulus, Jeremy Reeves,"
  • James Fauntleroy shouldn't be WikiLinked as he already has been
  • Remove WikiLink to The Stereotypes per above
  • "It was co-produced by Mars, Lawrence and Brody Brown under the alias Shampoo Press & Curl; and by Yip, McCullough, Romulus, and Reeves as The Stereotypes." → "It was produced by Yip, McCullough, Romulus, and Reeves as The Stereotypes; and co-produced by Mars, Lawrence and Brody Brown under the alias Shampoo Press & Curl." as you should mention the producers before co-producers

 Not done I know that, but the sentece was re-written after the GOCE. Fixe their mistake now, as you can see in the infobox

 Not doneit goes there anyway and one day there might be a page on them, so not for now.

You shouldn't have something redirecting when click on the WikiLink, the target should be the redirect instead and see Wikipedia:Ball for the other point of view you put across. --Kyle Peake (talk) 21:55, 11 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "serving as mixing engineer" → "serving as the mix engineer"

 Not done sounds better the other way

  • "It was mastered" → "The track was mastered"
  • Remove WikiLink on 24K Magic

 Not done It wasn't cited before in the body

Shouldn't be cited in the body at all, this is never done on song articles from albums --Kyle Peake (talk) 21:55, 11 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as the second single" → "as the second single instead"
  • Remove WikiLink to Atlantic Records as it has already been WikiLinked
  • "released the track on January 30, 2017, to Hot AC radio stations in the United States" → "serviced the track to Hot AC radio stations in the United States on January 30, 2017," as the former reads awkwardly, because it had already been released as a track before being serviced to radio

 Not doneit had when? First official release as single. On the contrary you are repiting the vocaburaly, whislt I'm not.

  • "and day later to American contemporary hit radio and rhythmic contemporary stations" → "and to American contemporary hit radio and rhythmic contemporary stations the next day"
  • "In the United Kingdom the song" → "In the United Kingdom, the song"
  • Remove capitalization on Contemporary hit radio for consistency
  • "was released worldwide" → "was released for digital download worldwide"

 Done with minor adjustments.

Composition

[edit]
  • Hip hop soul should not have the first word capitalized
It's the first genre presented so it should have.
Yeah it is, but this is this start of a genre listing, not a sentence.
  • "backed by enthusiastic backing vocals" → "supported by enthusiastic backing vocals"
  • "of the early 90's R&B" → "of R&B from the early 90's" as the former doesn't read well
  • "especially in the singer's" → "mostly in his"
  • "compared its sound to" → "compared its sound to that of"
  • "they are written" → "they were written" as it is not describing the delivery so should be past tense
  • "who is promised" → "with her being promised" as "who" is already stated in ref to the male
  • "and is allowed to" → "and allowed to"
  • Remove WikiLink to "Uptown Funk"
  • Remove release year of "Uptown Funk"
  • "placed a ban on the radio broadcast, during daytime, of" → "placed a daytime ban on the radio broadcast of" as there is too many commas as of current

 Done

Critical reception

[edit]
  • "Andrew Unterberger writing for Billboard and" → "Andrew Unterberger, writing for Billboard, and"
  • "Vulture's Craig Jenkins said" → "Jenkins said" as no other Jenkins is referenced in this article and this person was referenced earlier
  • Not sure if "numbers" is encyclopedic
  • R Kelly → R. Kelly
  • Remove WikiLink on R Kelly, as he has already been WikiLinked
  • "commended Mars' vocals and said the singer takes his vocals" → "commended Mars' vocals, saying the singer takes his vocals"
  • "praised the lyrics. saying" → "praised the lyrics, saying"
  • "In a mixed review" → "In a more mixed review" as the former implies it is coming after other mixed reviews

 Not done It doesn't they way you are wrting it is just saying its even more mixed than before.

  • "Nick Levine writing for NME said" → "Nick Levine, writing for NME, said"
  • "which he said appear to be" → "saying they appear to be"
  • "Wroble chose the rhymes" → "Wroble choose the rhymes"
  • Usa TodayUSA Today
  • "exhibit a list" → "to exhibit a list"
  • The bottom paragraph belongs in the accolades subsection

 Not doneits a review nevertheless, it comes with a position in some articles, but its a review. Not like an award...

  • "clothes on". and" → "clothes on", and"

Everything else was Done

Accolades

[edit]
  • "Summer Song, and" → "Summer Song and" as these are obviously separate awards
  • "The song was also" → "That same year, the song was also"
  • "received the accolade for" → "received the awards for"
  • "and for Song of the Year" → "and Song of the Year"
  • "at the Soul Train Music Awards." → "at the Soul Train Music Awards respectively."

 Not done the award shows are clearly indicated, only used when it is two awards or chart peaks in a row with not show or country in between.

  • Wouldn't it be better to just write that the song won those awards at the Grammys instead?
  • "at the 2018 Grammy Awards" → "at the Grammy Awards" as we already know it's 2018 but keep WikiLink on
  • "whilst being nominated" → "while being nominated"

 Not done its the same

  • Billboard Music AwardsBillboard Music Awards
  • "it won the latter category" → "winning in the latter category"
  • "In the same year" → "That same year"
  • "Outstanding Song, Traditional category at the" → "Outstanding Song at the" as Traditional category is not needed

 Not doneit is needed as there are two categories for outstanding song.

everything else was  Done

Commercial performance

[edit]

North America

[edit]
  • "Billboard Hot 100 chart on the issue week" → "Billboard Hot 100 for the issue week"
  • "spending four weeks there" → "spending four weeks at the position"
 Not done It's just the same, sounds weird.
  • "replacing Lamar's" → "replacing Kendrick Lamar's" as Kendrick Lamar is not his real name
 Not done What does that have to do with anything else? It is his artistic name and I stated it before, so I can abbreviate it now. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:14, 16 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "24 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 top five" → "24 weeks in the top five of the Billboard Hot 100"
  • "to spend at least those weeks" → "to spend at least 24 weeks" as "those" weeks reads weirdly
  • "As of 2018, Mars, Sheeran" → "As of 2018, Mars, Ed Sheeran" same as Kendrick Lamar reason
 Not done Ed is an abbreviation of Edward, where are you coming up with these? It makes no sense. Artist name is the artistic name, his real name could be "Cartman" for all I care. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:14, 16 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "half a year on the Hot 100 Top 10" → "half a year in the top 10 of the Hot 100"
  • "It spent a total of 52 weeks" → "The song spent a total of 52 weeks" as you haven't referenced the song directly for a while
  • "and was ranked number three" → "and ranked at number three"
  • "It has surpassed" → "It surpassed"
  • Put "respectively" at the end of the sentence

 Not done Why? They both spent seven weeks on the chart. I would if were different running times there.

  • ""That's What I Like" peaked at number one" → "The song peaked at number one" as you already referenced the title too recently
  • "giving Mars a tie with Justin Timberlake" → "tying Mars with Justin Timberlake"
  • "number one songs (eight) on the chart." → "number one songs on the chart, with eight respectively." not sure if this is how to word it correctly but some way without putting eight in brackets
  • "In the week of July 22, 2017" → "For the week of July 22, 2017"
  • "in the US with 1,673,000 downloads" → "in the US, with 1,673,000 downloads"
  • "On the Canadian Hot 100 chart," → "On the Canadian Hot 100,"
  • "indicating shipment" → "indicating shipments"
  • "It ended 2017 at number seven" → "The song ended 2017 at number seven"

The rest was  Done

International

[edit]
  • The song reached the top 20 in Philippines, Malaysia, Paraguay, South Korea, Argentina, Guatemala, Czech Republic, Denmark, Scotland, Netherlands and Ireland. As I have stated before, all top 20 positions are notable enough.

I used three, this looks like a supermarket list. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:49, 16 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  • "number 12 in the United Kingdom" → "number 12 on the UK Singles Chart,"
  • Remove capitalization of Platinum for consistency
  • "on the Ultratop 50 in Flanders and peaked at number three" → "on the Ultratop 50 in Flanders, and peaked at number three on the chart"
  • Remove second WikiLink to Ultratop
  • "March 25, 2017, peaking at number eight" → "March 25, 2017, and went on to peak at number eight"
  • "Portuguese Single Charts" → "Portuguese Singles Chart"

 Not done chart has been discontinued according to wiki page. So this chart is a new one, compiled by another entity.

  • "a platinum plaque by" → "a platinum plaque from"
  • WikiLink New Zealand Singles Chart to Official New Zealand Music Chart
  • "where it stayed for two weeks" → "where it remained for two weeks" as this is more enyclopedic
  • "It made the fifth spot" → "The song ranked at the fifth spot"
  • "ARIA Charts week of March 5, 2017" → "ARIA Singles Chart for the week of March 5, 2017"
  • "In its sixth week" → "In its sixth week on the chart"
  • "by the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA)." → "by the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) for exceeding 70,000 shipped copies."
  • "Worldwide, it was" → "Worldwide, the song was" as you recently said "it"
  • "digital single of 2017 with 9.7 million units" → "digital single of 2017, with 9.7 million units sold"

 Done

Music video

[edit]

Background and concept

[edit]
  • "on hits Twitter account that had" → "on his Twitter account that he had"
  • "filming the song's official music video for "That's What I Like"" → "filming the accompanying music video for "That's What I Like"" as it is obviously official since Mars said it and you shouldn't mention what he's filming the video for twice in the same sentence
  • "It was directed" → "The visual was directed" as you used "it" more recently in the quote than video/music video in the section
  • "prior to the filming" → "prior to shooting" as you already put "filming" shortly after this
  • "music video but when they carried out a test shoot, the result was not what they expected and" → "music video, but the result was not what they expected when the two carried out a test shoot, and"
  • "to dance they knew" → "to dance, him and Lia knew" as you haven't referenced his identity for a while at this point

 Done

Synopsis

[edit]
  • "The video begins" → "The visual begins" as these changes need to be made in places to prevent overusing "the video"
  • "were drawn to show the flexibility of Mars' dance" → "were drawn to show the flexibility of the singer's dance" as you state "Mars" too much otherwise

 Done

Reception

[edit]
  • "Mike Wass writing for Idolator and" → "Mike Wass, writing for Idolator, and "
  • "and Rap-Up" → "and the staff of Rap-Up"
  • "footwork "fancy" while Brill said the video" → "footwork "fancy", while Brill said the visual"
  • "and the editing of the video" → "and the editing" as we know it's about the video
  • "viewers smile as well as "hitting the replay button".[92]" → "viewers smile, as well as hit "the replay button".[92]" as you wouldn't say "it will make viewers hitting the replay button" but you would the latter
  • "In 2017, the music video won" → "In 2017, it won"
  • "It received the accolade" → "The video received the award"
  • "In 2018, it received the award" → "In 2018, it won the award" to mix things up more
  • "and a nomination" → "and earned a nomination"
  • WikiLink iHeartRadio Music Awards
  • "the video has had" → "the music video has had"
  • Use this as it states that the video reached a billion views; similarly to what we went over with "24K Magic", as it is better to use published sources than YouTube for this information. Write something like "As of June 2018, the video has reached over one billion views." plus a billion is more notable than 1.5 benchmark.

 Done

Live performances

[edit]
  • "singers and towards the end of the song he made" → "singers, and towards the end of the song he made"
  • "His performance was well received" → "The performance was well received" as not only Bruno performed
  • "ranked Mars' performance 11 out of 20; he said," → "rated Mars' performance 11 out of 20, saying,"
  • E! News should be italicized
  • The first two sentences of the second para should be part of the first as they are about the Grammys performance
  • Remove WikiLink to Rolling Stone
  • "He also performed the song live at the 2017 Brit Awards on February 21, 2017" → "Mars later performed the song live at the 2017 Brit Awards on February 21" as it is a new para and we already know this is 2017
  • "and along with his band performed" → "and along with his band, performed"
  • "In the middle of the track" → "Halfway through the track" as it is more encyclopedic
  • "with "Treasure, a track on Mars' second studio album Unorthodox Jukebox (2012)." → "with the single "Treasure" from Mars' second studio album Unorthodox Jukebox (2012)."
  • "Andrew Unterberger writing for Billboard" → "Andrew Unterberger, writing for Billboard,"
  • "made the medley of the songs" → "made the medley" as we already know it's two songs

 Done

Use in other media

[edit]
  • The source at the end of sentence 1 gives no mention of YouTube
  • Crashing date shouldn't be in brackets as you already stated 2017
  • "made an appearance on Undressed (2017), debut season, episode six" → "made an appearance on the debut season of Undressed (2017) during episode six"
  • "The track was part of episode eleven" → "In 2018, the track was part of episode eleven"
  • "In 2018, the Gucci Mane remix" → "That same year, the Gucci Mane remix"

 Done

Track listing

[edit]
  • Re-title to track listings

 Done

Personnel

[edit]
  • Good

Charts

[edit]

Weekly charts

[edit]
  • Remove Brasil as the archive is dead
  • Same with Columbia and Venezuela (National Report)
  • Hungary stream chart can be removed as it charted on the single chart

 Done Replaced the sources. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:04, 10 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Year-end charts

[edit]
  • Good

All-time charts

[edit]
  • Good

Certifications

[edit]

Its broken, goes to main page. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:05, 10 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Let me find a better example; "Love Yourself" and 4385 is the id for the Mars song

How do you get the Id's for the songs? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:49, 10 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I used the search button and clicked on the song to do this. Kyle Peake (talk) 04:42, 11 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

 Done

Release history

[edit]
  • Rhythmic contemporary should have the word radio after it
  • Digital Download should not have the second word capitalized

 Done

References

[edit]
  • Many of these need archiving
  • Ref 5 should be The New York Times
  • Ref 13 shouldn't italicize Idolator
  • Add access dates for refs 73, 76, 158, 176 and 177

 Done I will archive the dead ones. Not all of this, there is no need, sure it is safer but I gave up on that idea some time ago. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:49, 11 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments and verdict

[edit]

Good work here, just needs the issue fixing and an image added somewhere since it's such a large article.  On hold for now. --Kyle Peake (talk) 21:43, 10 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Just remember, the article only has two days left until the on hold period ends. I say this because you seem more interested in editing other articles rather than fixing the issues, though don't take offence if you are indeed waiting until today or the day before as I'm not trying to call you lazy, just checking you know the period is approaching for your own good. Kyle Peake (talk) 14:05, 15 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I was just checking some others due to the possible edits. I was away for the weekend, sorry. I will try my best to finish it until tomorrow. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:26, 15 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

 Pass achieved now! --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 17 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]