Talk:The Secret Origin of Felicity Smoak/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:54, 7 February 2020 (UTC)

Comments

• " The series is part of the Arrowverse franchise, alongside..." this is only mentioned in the lead and not referenced. It's more usual to expand upon everything mentioned in the lead in the main body of the article, and to reference it there.

I have added a paragraph, with references, in the development section, to say when the show originated, and that it is the starting point for the franchise. AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• " It premiered in the USA on.." just "US" or "United States" would work too.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "a critics approval rating " shouldn't that be "critics' approval rating"?

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• And you mentioned "critics" in the lead but not in the body.

I was summarising the response from critics as quoted in the 'Critical response' section. AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "dying her hair to blonde," maybe an engvar thing, but I wouldn't need to use the word "to" in this context.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• You link MIT, FBI and NSA, but not "Treasury Department", is it supposed to be the real one?

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "Charlotte Ross and Emily..." probably needs a "(left)" after Ross here.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "to DC comics" I guess "comics" not "Comics" deliberately, implying specific comics made by DC?

Yes, I meant DC Comics comics, but obviously that would not read right! Does it make sense the way it is written? AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "Filming for the episode... The episode was filmed in..." repetitive, could merge these two perhaps?

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• Merge the two mini-paras in "Reception", and rephrase second sentence so we're not repeating "The episode..." in quick succession.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• " The critics consensus" critics' again.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "that -- aside from being well-done -- warrants" en-dashes, not double hyphens.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "noted that "This ..." I would make that "This" sentence case.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• Similarly the following "It"

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "the plethora of DC Comics" is that a quote? if not it's a little POV.

Checked source, not a quote, so not sure why that phrasing. Have changed to 'number'. AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "DC related Easter Eggs" you didn't capitalise "easter eggs" above, and I imagine that should be "DC-related".

Looking at Easter egg (media), convention would appear to be to capatialise Easter, but not egg, so have changed both to reflect. AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• villany should be villainy.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "Writing for Bustle Kelly Schremph" I would have a comma after Bustle.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "one of Arrow's female" that "Arrow" should be in italics. Then use the {{'s}} to avoid crashing the apostrophe.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

• "for Collider David " again, another comma for me here.

 Done AutumnKing (talk) 14:40, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

Otherwise it's about as comprehensive as it can be I imagine, good work, I'm putting it on hold while we work these through. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 13:46, 10 February 2020 (UTC)

I'm happy with these changes, it's a really nice article so I'm promoting, good work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:18, 13 February 2020 (UTC)