Talk:The Shape of Water/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 17:32, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article as part of the July 2021 good article nominations backlog drive! Any section that I've marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished leaving comments there, but you're free to begin making changes as soon as you see them! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:32, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

Vanessa Taylor's work on the screenplay should be mentioned in the body

Done Added. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Just as in the body, link "mute" to Mutism

Done Linked. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"many calling it del Toro's best work since Pan's Labyrinth" not mentioned in body

Done Removed. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Most of the third paragraph, actually, needs to be placed in the body somewhere

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:05, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

Pipe "mute" to Muteness
"at a secret government laboratory in Baltimore, Maryland, in 1962 (during the Cold War)" → "By 1962, during the Cold War, Esposito works as a cleaner at a secret government laboratory in Baltimore, Maryland."
Comma after "same time every day"
WL egg timer
"The facility receives a mysterious creature captured from a South American river by Colonel Richard Strickland, who is in charge of the project, to study it." → "Colonel Richard Strickland has just captured a mysterious creature from a South American river and has taken the creature to the Baltimore facility for further study."
"simultaneously is ordered" → "is simultaneously ordered"
"Elisa keeps the Amphibian Man in her bathtub, planning to release him into a nearby canal in several days when it is scheduled to rain to provide access to the ocean." → "Eliza plans to release the Amphibian Man into a nearby canal when heavy rain will allow access to the ocean. In the meantime, she keeps him in her bathtub."
"Eliza has sex with the Amphibian Man" → "Eliza continues to develop her romantic relationship with the Amphibian Man, culminating in sexual intercourse."

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:06, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Cast

Don't quote me on this, but I think that whether or not a cast has to be cited depends on whether there's elaboration given beyond the names
In any case, definitely need a source for anything uncredited (like Del Toro as the vocal effects)

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:09, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Production

Development

"The idea for The Shape of Water formed during del Toro's breakfast with Daniel Kraus in December 2011, with whom he later co-wrote the novel Trollhunters." → "Guillermo del Toro formed the idea for The Shape of Water over breakfast in December 2011 with Daniel Kraus, his future collaborator on the novel Trollhunters."
Swap the order of things so that the Black Lagoon inspiration (the primary inspiration) comes before The Space Between Us
Can you elaborate more on "today's heightened tensions"?

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:17, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Casting

"in mind for the part" → "in mind for the female lead"
"she was told by Del Toro to watch" → "Del Toro told her to watch"
Comma after "with Ian McKellen in mind"
"who directed" → "the director of"
Can you include something on the casting of Doug Jones as the Amphibian Man, since he forms the other lead and has a long history of working with Del Toro?

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:38, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Filming

No comma needed after "Elgin and Winter Garden Theatres"
WL facade
Here, he is referred to as "del Toro", whereas elsewhere it is "Del Toro"

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:38, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Visuals

Section ends abruptly. Clarify that he did ultimately film in color

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:02, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Soundtrack

A little thin right now. I found interviews from Desplat here and here that might provide some weight.

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:02, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Release

The source for Telluride, etc. only mentions the Toronto Film Festival screening
The information about its USA release is incorrect, as the article says that it's slated for wide release on December 8
WL wide release
The "home media" subhead is only one sentence right now. I found an article here about the 4K release and some of the added details going into making that, as well as the extra features

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 21:09, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

"following its four Oscar wins, the film made an additional $2.4 million."

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:45, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Box office

Fine

Critical response

Switch the comma after "positive reviews" to a semicolon
"PostTrak reported that filmgoers"
"Guillermo" → "Del Toro"

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:43, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Accolades

"The film also spawned some debate about whether the fact that it was filmed in Canada, with a predominantly Canadian crew and many Canadian actors in the supporting roles, should have made it eligible to be nominated for the Canadian Screen Awards." → "The film also sparked some debate about whether it should have been eligible for a Canadian Screen Awards nomination, as it was filmed in Canada with a predominantly Canadian crew and many Canadian actors in supporting roles."
Comma after "rules for international coproductions"
Give a few examples of top-ten lists it ended up on, particularly of #1s

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:42, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Plagiarism accusations

Move reference to end of sentence for "Other observers vehemently disagree with Jeunet's assertion."
"objects as well the music which is a reminiscent of" → "objects, as well as the music, which is reminiscent of"

All

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:40, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

References

In [22], Toronto Life Magazine should be changed from publisher to work

Done Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 17:39, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

Images are either free or tagged for use, and are relevant to the article
No visible edit warring or other instability
Earwig score comes up high due to mirror sites. Of actual articles, most of the high % are due to attributed direct quotes.

Overall, a good start, but I have some concerns about broadness and original research. I hope the leads I've given you have been helpful. Since this is an expansion-heavy request, ping me when you're finished and I'll do another prose look-over. Let me know if you have any questions, and for the time being, I'll be placing this article on hold. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:25, 2 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Kncny11: All done. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:02, 6 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Some Dude From North Carolina Thank you for making those changes, particularly the vague "expand here" comments. Passing now. — Ghost River 21:50, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]