Talk:The Worship Project/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mymis (talk · contribs) 18:25, 3 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Mymis

Hello, I do wish to review your article. Please note that this is my first time reviewing an article, you are welcome to disagree with my comments. Mymis (talk) 18:25, 3 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

General

All the figure dashes (-) must be replaced with en dashes (–), per MOS:DASH.
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Introduction

"organs and violins" → I would suggest linking the instruments.
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"selling over 60,000 copies" → In the US or worldwide? The Release section says they sold it within a year, I think it should be included in the intro as well.
- The sources do not say; done.Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"In writing songs for the album, MercyMe used a basic" → A bit odd sentence structure, maybe just "MercyMe wrote songs for the album using a basic.."
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
It seems that these three long sentences about what kind of albums the band released afterwards are a bit off-topic and not very important mentioning, especially in the introduction, in my opinion. Maybe just merge it in one short sentence, like: "The band further released one independant album before making a decision to sign with a major record label."
- Done. How does it look now? Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I think it's important to mention the success of "I Can Only Imagine", especially that it was certified double platinum.
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

"..released four independent records, Christian alternative rock albums that drew.." → doesn't sound like a grammaticaly correct sentece, maybe ".. records that were all Christian alternative rock albums influenced by grunge music"
- Changed to "Prior to the release of The Worship Project, MercyMe had independently released four Christian alternative rock albums, drawing influence from the grunge style popular at the time." Is that good? Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"While playing live, however, the ba.." → I think you missed a word in this sentence, doesn't sound right. I'd suggest starting a new sentence after a word "audiences". Like, "In contrast, their covers of popular worship songs received a greater reception during their live performances, which lead the band to write and produce..."
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"written by Millard and composed by" → mmm, not very clear what is "written" and "composed"? you meant "write lyrics" and compose music"?
- Changed to "With the exception of "Beautiful", a song Cochran wrote the lyrics and music to, the lyrics on the album were written by Millard, while the music was composed by the entire band". Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"because it meant so much to Millard" → sounds informal
- Changed to 'was important to Millard'. Is that good? Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"The Pig Sty" → is it a recording studio?
- I assume - the liner notes say that is where it was recorded and give the location, but I couldn't find anything about it other than that, so I can't say for sure. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"worship" → is already linked once in the section
- Delinked. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"Hammond-style organs" → link "organs"
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Release, reception, and impact

You used "released" twice in the first two sentences, maybe replace the second one with "issued"
- Great idea! Done. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"the internet" → the Internet is always capitalized
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"did appear on any" → you missed a word "not"
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
About the sales, again, you should mention where it was sold. Also, the source for the estimated toal sales is from ten years ago, you should then add "as of 2006".
- Same answer as above - sources don't say. The other is Fixed.
"topping the Christian radio charts" → in the USA or worldwide?
- US; fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"certified 2× platinum" → "double-platinum"
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"over 2 digital copies" → only 2 copies? :)
- Lol, fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel

is "lifted" a right word? maybe just omit it
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
no need linking "MercyMe"
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

"Credits" → "Credits and tracklist from.."
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References

Chicago Sun-Times → Chicago Sun-Times
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The sources look very good, just don't forget fixing the dashes.
- Those should be fixed now. Toa Nidhiki05 00:52, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Further fixes

"which Cochran wrote the lyrics and music to" → the preposition at the end does not sound very nice, maybe, "which was solely written by Cochran"?
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 16:15, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The paragraph starting with "The Worship Project has been described as being a" → you use word "described" four times, sounds a bit repetitive. maybe replace the third one with "consider": "Mark Allan Powell considered "Happy Little Love Song" being a" or something like that.
- Good idea; fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 16:15, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
"The stress of selling the album directly" → maybe "the difficulty"?
- Done. Toa Nidhiki05 16:15, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
About.com → About.com
- Fixed. Just noticed that citation was duplicated so removed the duplicate. Toa Nidhiki05 16:15, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The New York Times Company does not own About.com, no need mentioning it
- Fixed. Toa Nidhiki05 16:15, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The article looks way better now, would be more than happy to promote it once you adress these remaining minor issues. Mymis (talk) 15:18, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I believe you fixed all the listed problems. It is a well-written article with no original research or any copyvio detected. The sources are all reliable well formatted. I am happy to promote it. Good job! Mymis (talk) 18:15, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]