Talk:Tin Can (basketball arena)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk · contribs) 11:45, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

1. a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall: Pass

   Pass/Fail:

Review

Lead

• "was the home of North Carolina Tar Heels men's basketball team from the January 8, 1924..." - Delete "the" before the date
• "The building was a completely steel structure was built with galvanized steel" doesn't make grammatical sense. Maybe "The building, which was a completely steel structure, was built...."
• Have "Following" twice too close together
• Comma after "Ultimately"

• Got these Disc Wheel (T + C) 13:44, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

Construction and architecture

• "The growth of the school in the preceding years strove the efforts to build a new facility so that more of the student body would be able to view games." The opening sentence should probably mention the school specifically
• "In early October 1923, Woollen announced in early October...." redundant to mention October twice. It would make more sense to rewrite it as "In early October 1923, Woollen announced that work was to begin...."
• "The indoor facility would feature eight basketball courts and the school's varsity team would play on one court..." doesn't make sense.
• "There was only one toilet in the whole facility.[1][6][9] The venue was 300 feet by 110 feet" could be merged together. As well, are four citations necessary? Please review WP:OVERCITE.
• "one Daily Tar Heel" and the word "and" in front of "one"
• "There was no air conditioning, heating, or insulation in the Tin Can, which left it freezing in the winter and "like an oven" in the summer." Are five citations needed?

• Got these Disc Wheel (T + C) 13:44, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

History

• "Two thousand people turned for the first game in the Tin Can." Two problems with this sentence: add the word "up" and repetitive nature of "first game in the Tin Can." Maybe inaugural etc.
• "In 4 of the 15 seasons" 4 should be spelt out to four
• "Collegiate boxing was hosted drew crowds" doesn't make sense
• "Indoor track was a common feature in the Tin Can." Why couldn't this be mentioned with the wrestling, fencing, boxing, and badminton list?
• " A Charlotte businessman Charlie Wood front a campus band between 1937 and 1940 that use the facility" doesn't make grammatical sense
• "No longer needed for major athletic events the Tin Can was used" comma needed after "events"
• "In 1940, there were rumors that the Tin Can would be renovated to insulate and renovate the property..." why is renovate mentioned twice?
• "After the basketball team left, volleyball courts and a golf driving cage were added.." Remove the second period
• "on of which was a broken water pipe," should say "one" not "on" or just removed altogether
• "around 50 dressers" disambiguation needed "for close 275 students." Should say "close to"
• "Those that stayed in the structure were known as "tin canners."[26] Those staying in the Tin Can would bathe and use the restrooms in Woollen Gymnasium." merge into one sentence.
• The word "The" is used at the beginning of a lot of sentences. Can this sentence "The trustees wanted to see the cost estimates for moving the Tin Can before deciding" be flipped to "Prior to deciding on the future of the venue, the trustees wanted to see the cost estimates for moving the Tin Can."
• "The university stipulated that 25 sheets of the siding be saved in the process for the alumni department for former students who were interested in a sentimental piece." Wordy

@HickoryOughtShirt?4: Thanks for the review! I've made the changes outlined above. Let me know if you think of anything else! Disc Wheel (T + C) 13:44, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

Disc Wheel, it's an easy pass but there are just some minor prose fixes. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 22:18, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

@HickoryOughtShirt?4: Thanks for the help! I think I got the ones below to your liking now! Disc Wheel (T + C) 23:16, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

Disc Wheel, thanks for your timely responses and congrats! HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 23:18, 24 April 2020 (UTC)

Finishing review

• "It was the first building on campus to be strictly for an athletic purpose" is oddly placed. The context is about heaters so it just seems odd
• "The dance committee would often use it to host dances." add the word "also"
• "Those that stayed in the structure were known as "tin canners would bathe and use the restrooms in Woollen Gymnasium." You need to finish the " after canners and add the word and after canners