Talk:Typhoon Hal (1985)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello User:Yellow Evan, I am going to be reviewing this article. Hopefully you will be quick to address/fix my issues so I can pass this article! --12george1 (talk) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Typhoon Hal (also known as Typhoon Kuring)[1] was the strongest storm to affect southern China since 1983" - Since you wikilinked Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Philippines, why not link China too?
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"It gradually became better organized, on June 20, the storm attained tropical storm." - Add the word "and" between the comma and "on".
- God, I suck. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The storm weakened slightly on June 22, and Hal lost typhoon intensity two days later" ---> "The storm weakened slightly on June 22 and lost typhoon intensity two days later"
- Good call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Throughout Taiwan, flooding occurred." - No need to wikilink Taiwan again
- Delinked. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"n all, about 13,000 families or 77,000 people were rendered " - Add commas or dashes at the beginning and end of this part "or 77,000 people"
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"which extended from the International Dateline to the Malay Peninsula." - Apparently it is called the "International Date Line" now :P
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwest," ---> "Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwestward,"
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon." ---> "Around that time, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon."
- Done. 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
"the JMA lowered the intensity of Hal to 145 km/h (90 mph)." - Wait, how was the intensity lowered to 145 km/h (90 mph) if that was the storm's maximum sustained wind speed?
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"A total of 5,242 families were evacuated,[11] including 50 in Baguio and 89 in Olongapo City.[9]" - I think this should be moved to after the first sentence in the first paragraph, because it deals with evacuations (which is normally associated with preparations).
- AFAIK they were evacuated due to flooding/impact. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"including all stock markets within Hong Kong." - Wikilink Hong Kong Stock Exchange
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The southern Fujian province was hardest hit, where over 100,000 were stranded.[19]" - 100,000 cats? :P
- Zombies :P Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
On reference #7, "United Press International" is misspelled
- Fixed. Thanks for the review GC. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I am going to pass this article now and list it as a Good Article.--12george1 (talk) 21:06, 24 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]