Talk:Typhoon Sarah (1989)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 03:45, 28 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"As the typhoon meandered near the Philippines" - does this mean "while", "because", or something else?
- Changed to while. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Impact in China in lede?
- There's not much to really say but if it's really necessary I'll add it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"approximately 1,100 km (685 mi) southeast of Minamitorishima" - even though the last thing is linked, I'd give it some more meaning so it isn't so foreign. Perhaps "southeast of the Japanese island of X"?
- Added. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"complex interactions" - why quote? Who said it?
- That's about as in-depth of an explanation as the JTWC will give. Added who said it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"In light of the improved environment" --> "Due to the improved environment"
- Changed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Why did Sarah move faster toward Okinawa?
- Your guess is as good as mine (not stated in report). Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"This faster movement was short-lived as by September 8" - awkward
- Reworded. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Rivers began overtopping their banks on September 10 and inundated surrounding areas." - this could be simpler. I think "exceeding" would work better than "overtopping", and similar "flooding" over "inundated" (or something).
- Changed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"In Ilocos Sur, ten people were killed in a single town" - I'd prefer to see "In the province of Ilocos Sur", since it sounds like a city name and could be confusing. However, I didn't change it since I wasn't sure what you thought.
- Used suggestion. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
You should indicate somewhere that all damage figures are 1989 USD, unless otherwise stated. It isn't clear in the Philippines section.
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Striking Taiwan as a powerful typhoon, destructive winds battered coastal areas near where the center moved ashore." - dangling participle
- I don't English good, plz to clarify what's wrong? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Torrential were the main destructive force associated with Typhoon Sarah, however." - rains? floods? dogs? clocks? If it is rainfall, then that sentence and the subsequent one are redundant.
- Lions, bears, and tigers oh my! (Clocks??) Removed the quoted sentence since to avoid redundancy Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
" In Hualien City, flood waters reached a depth of 1.2 m (3.9 ft) and several homes were destroyed, leaving roughly 100 people homeless." - did floods destroy the homes?
- It's not clearly stated what destroyed the homes. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
"Twenty-eight homes were destroyed and another forty-one sustained damage across the island." - why not rewrite to avoid saying the full names of the numbers?
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Anything else for Japan or China? Seems kinda scant for how much rainfall there was.
- Not that I could find. JTWC ATCR states no known damage in China from the storm. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

--♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:45, 28 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Pardon my tardiness in responding to this review. I believe you understand why it took me some time to get to this. I've responded to all your concerns but I'm a bit lost at a few (I think)...I'm a tad tired now so I really don't remember exactly what I wrote above. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:33, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]