Talk:Typhoon Wayne (1983)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 04:13, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Yellow Evan! I am going to be reviewing this article. The following bullet list is the issues that need to be addressed before the list passes/fails.

"The next day, it was estimated to have became a typhoon," - Grammar error ("became" -> "become")
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"the typhoon was estimated to have reached its peak intensity," - It would probably be a good idea to mention the typhoon's maximum sustained wind speed, since in the previous sentence you state that there was RI, and then weakening later in this sentence.
- Added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Furthermore, 42 people lost their lives when they died in flood waters while" - Excessive words. Remove "when they died".
- Good call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"and there was initially reports of up to 200 people missing." - Grammar error ("was" -> "were")
- Yep. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Although Wayne passed south of Twain," - Twain? Mark Twain? :P
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Elsewhere, Wayne was the fifth most intense typhoon on record to impact Fujian between 1960 and 2005." - Maybe you should state that this was in China, rather than wait until the next sentence, as it might make some people think you are still talking about Taiwan.
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Throughout China, 440 persons were injured, 30,000 dwellings collapsed, and 105 persons died." - Switch this around so that the persons injured and the persons dead are next to each out. For example, "Throughout China, 400 persons were injured, 105 persons died, and 30,000 dwellings collapsed."
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Typhoon Wayne attained peak intensity of 200 km/h (120 mph) (equivalent to a Category 3 on the SSSHWS)," - First, mention the term and link the term "maximum sustained winds" (i.e. "peak intensity with maximum sustained winds of 200 km/h"). Second, you have too many "S"s in the acronym for Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale.
- Look like one line above :P Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"aircraft reconnaissance reviled an eyewall and a small inner core" - Wrong word ("reviled"). :P I think that word you are looking for is "revealed".
- Yep :P Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, it moved westward along the southern periphery of the subtropical ridge" - What moved westward? The JTWC? :P
- The island the JTWC is moving eastward. But the storm moved west. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"As Super Typhoon Wayne passed north of Luzon, the low-level atmospheric circulation" - Why, when did Wayne become a "super typhoon"?
- You've never hear of that? Anyhow, added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"the low-level atmospheric circulation was disrupted north of the storm by the high terrain of Taiwan and thus Wayne weakened due to interaction with land. " I suggest rewording that sentence to this: "the low-level atmospheric circulation was disrupted by the high terrain of Taiwan and thus the storm weakened due to interaction with land."
- Fixed, sorta, I just cut the final part out. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Wayne then began a more northward track" - Northward? More like northwestward.
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Typhoon Wayne became the second system to strike Luzon in nine days[5] after Typhoon Vera.[6]" - Add a comma between "days" and the reference.
- No. I hate commas. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"a slight storm surge was measured, peaking at 218 cm (86 in)." - Why is the storm surge in centimeters and then converted to inches? Shouldn't it be meters converted to feet?
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
On reference #5 ("2nd Typhoon in 9 Days Batters Luzon Island"), add: |agency=Associated Press
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
On reference #10 ("100 Missing in Bridge Collapse"), add |agency=United Press International
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ditto on reference #12 ("Bridge Collapse Kills 42 People")
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Who/what is the publisher of reference #14? "Typhoon Saomai: Impact and Historical Comparison"
- Added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:47, 6 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]