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Talk:Unlocked (Alexandra Stan album)/GA2

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: AJona1992 (talk · contribs) 19:01, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Ahh, she's one of my favorite Romani singers =). I will begin reviewing this article in two days, before I do begin my review you should update the article on any new sources that may have since surfaced since your last edit to the article. Best, jona(talk) 19:01, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
 Done
  • "Unlocked premiered following a violent incident between Stan and her former manager" - how so?
 Done
  • while also speaking about Stan's ups and downs with her unidentified boyfriend. Try changing this sentence to this one --> while also speaking on Stan's volatile relationship with her unidentified boyfriend.
 Done
  • The record received generally positive reviews from music critics, with them praising its material ---> The record received generally positive reviews from music critics, many of whom praising its material
 Done
 Done
 Not done Rihanna and Sia are not American singers. jona(talk) 15:46, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Who is Adictivoz?
 Done
  • "throughout the record" ---> you've already used record in the previous two sentences, try a different approach here.
 Done
  • "became majorly successful" ---> Very poor grammar
 Done
 Not done The line "become successful", is still poor grammar. Since the album was only successful in that country try Unlocked debuted and peaked at number 21 on the Japanese Oricon Albums Chart, selling 3,859 copies in its first week of release. As of September 2014, the album has sold 17,000 units, according to the Recording Industry Association of Japan (RIAJ).
  • The first sentence of the third paragraph is too long, try splitting this up into two.
 Done
  • Per MOS:NUMERAL, integers from zero to nine are spelled out in words
 Done
  • "We Wanna the ---> something is missing here
 Done
  • "For further promoting Unlocked" ---> why use a present-tense tone?
 Done
  • Why is there a reference in the lead? Furthermore, why is it sourced to the album's liner notes? Did she know she was going to tour these countries well before the album's release?
 Done
The tour isn't going on. It ended in the winter of 2014.
We need to know that. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Background and development
  • You talked about how Saxobeats was an "internationally successful album", but yet you only spent a few words on the recording only explaining when it was released and not its significance, sales or chart success, or what made it an "internationally successful album".
 Done I removed the "internationally successful", because it only reached the top 40 in few countries.
I am still baffled that you did not mention her single "Saxobeats", which was successful especially in the United States; a rare feat. You need to add that information and its impact on Stan's career. jona(talk) 15:46, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • When did the singer begin working on new material for Unlocked? Right away, soon after, a few days later, etc?
 Done
  • When were the singles released? Were they released to radios only or were they physically released and sent to radios?
 Done
  • Ah Ok, now the violent incident makes sense. Change the two sentences to The album was intended for a September 2013 release, but following an alleged physical altercation with her former manager Prodan over compensation, the recording was delayed.
 Done
  • Stan was sued by Marcel Prodan, we already know who he is so Prodan is correct.
 Done
  • How much did Prodan sue Stan?
 Not done The sources given do not provide further information.
  • Stan's last album under Prodan's label, Maan Records, was released in October 2013, but why does it say Saxobeats was her last album (according to her chronology in the infobox) if it was released in 2011 and her last album with Maan Records was released in 2013?
 Done
 Done
  • In late 2013, Alexandra Stan ---> In late 2013, Stan
 Done
  • Who are Alex Cotoi and Erik Lidbom?
 Done
  • Stan released three more singles, which are?
 Done
At that time, Prodan still had the copyright over the songs and he somehow wanted to promote them into adding them on the reissue of Saxobeats.
  • him of beating her up - try this accused him of physically attacking and blackmailing her
Recording and artwork
  • Which songs were Stan involved in the writing process?
 Done
 Not done The sentence is still ambious until the following when you actually list the song she did not write. So, try this Stan was involved in the writing process of all the songs featured on Unlocked, with the exception of "Thanks for Leaving", "Set Me Free" and "Trumpet Blows".
 Not done There is now a missing period. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The second sentence needs to be rewritten. When did Stan expressed that "Thanks for Leaving" was "personal to her"? We already know who Marcel Pardon is, not understanding why you continue writing his full name. Also unlink "Thanks for Leaving", you already linked it in the previous section.
 Done
 Not done Still written in poor English. jona(talk) 15:46, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done You are still using current-tense tone (she has) and it's pea-ish to say "thus making it". jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The third sentence also needs some editing. How can an album be influenced in making its own decision when it comes to musical styles? I believe you mean the album drew influences from these genres. The "genres of music" statement is poor grammar, but music genre or subgenre would fix that.
 Done
 Not done How can an album be "reportedly influenced"? Still needs work here. The beginning of the sentence "Particular musical influences include" is poor grammar. Instead of listing the genres and parenthesizing the songs, try actually writing the information out to avoid awkward sentences like this. jona(talk) 15:46, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done I don't believe Spanish trumpet is a music genre. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Now on to the fourth sentence. I am beginning to believe that you did not take the good advice that the last reviewer suggested that you do, which was to take this album to WP:GOCE/REQ. I will continue reviewing this article but if I continue to find poor grammar, then I would have to fail it and advise you to take the suggestion. The list of "particular musical influences" sentence needs to be fixed into a complete sentence.
 Done Yes, I took this album to WP:GOCE/REQ; look at this article's talk page again and you'll see it.
  • with an unidentified man change to with her love interest
 Done
  • The songs from the album were written in English, with two exceptions: remove
 Done
I did not mean remove the entire sentence, just the part highlighted.
 Not done Remove the text that reads language. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • [19][3] needs to be fixed
 Not done Why fixed? I can't see anything wrong with them.
References needs to be in numerical order. jona(talk) 15:46, 13 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • "with it" - remove
 Done
  • "a total of" - remove
 Done
  • The second sentence needs to be fixed. Write about the album's chart history in its second and third week on the chart, why merge?
 Done
  • "drop down the" - change to "fall from"
 Done
  • Explain about the drop in the charts, why merge?
 Done
 Done
  • "number 78 on 7 October 2014" - fix per WP:NUMNOTES try "number 78 on the week ending on 7 October 2014"
 Done
  • "left the" - change to "exited the"
 Done
  • Too many instances of Unlocked, needs variety
 Done
  • "registered" - really?
 Done
  • Who is Pop Shock?
 Done
  • Overlinking remains an issue here
 Done
  • Britney Spears, Britney Spears
 Done
  • Thanks for Leaving, Thanks for Leaving
 Not done ??
Too many instances, try different variations.
  • Give Me Your Everything, Give Me Your Everything
 Not done ??
Too many instances, try different variations.
  • Who is Everything Express?
 Done
  • When was Britney Jean released?
 Done
  • What is a Eurovision Song Contest?
 Done
 Not done an annual contest of what? jona(talk)
  • Who is Shakira?
 Done
  • Why link Europe and not Music of Europe? Same with Latin America
 Done
  • "bringing sales of 4,550 copies" - is this how much the album sold that week?
Yes, it is.
  • "of" -> "to"
  • You should link Europop.
  • What is an X Factor?
 Not done According to Wikipedia, the X Factor is a reality television music competition. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are all these reviews websites? Any of them music websites, news magazines, etc?
Pop Shock is music website; fixed now.
Yes, they said it; a citation: "Clearly influenced by – or slavishly imitating – the likes of Britney, Rihanna and Sia, the production sound will make or break it for you"
  • Again, Rihanna and Sia are not American singers
 Not done Who is Britney Spears, Rihanna, and Sia? jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Who is David Guetta?
  • You don't have to continually say website if you already established who the author/source is from.
Promotion
  • Thanks for Leaving, Thanks for Leaving
 Done
  • Overlinking is still an issue here.
 Done
  • Why use the phrase "premiered on" instead of "released on"?
 Done
  • "was majorly successful" - poor grammar
 Done
  • Was "Cherry Pop" on the Japan Hot 100 its peak?
 Done
  • "Dance, the third single - something is missing here
 Done
  • This section does not flow, it currently stands as single released, the xx released from the album, the music video was released, it peaked. Can you change this up? Needs variety, it's boring and dull.
 Done Tried to reword the section. Is it OK this way?
  • iTunes does not have a singles chart, but a Songs Chart and it is not accepted as an actual chart per WP:BADCHARTS
 Done
  • Who is Adictivoz?
 Done
  • Khaled Mokhtar, Khaled Mokhtar
 Done
  • Vanilla Chocolat, Vanilla Chocolat
 Done
  • So Daddy Yankee is Romanian?
 Done
  • "One month later" - remove
  • Some scenes of the clip presents Stan playing tennis against herself in a futuristic setting --> The video shows Stan playing tennis against herself in a futuristic setting.
  • The song achieved a peak position at number 25 in Japan --> The recording peaked at number 25 in Japan
  • "It furthermore" --> Needs rewrite
  • Too many instances of launch, single, Unlocked, and reached.

This article needs help, and I am willing to give you seven days to fix these issues. Best, jona(talk) 01:52, 11 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@AJona1992 Nearly all done; waiting for your response. Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:44, 12 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@AJona1992 All additional comments done! Cartoon network freak (talk) 06:19, 14 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for the delay, there was an miscommunication between myself and an administrator over an issue on Wikipedia. I am back now so please review the issues that have been risen since your last edit to the article. jona(talk) 00:57, 19 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@AJona1992 Done your additional comments! Cartoon network freak (talk) 10:00, 21 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References and sourcing

[edit]
  • FN#1, FN#15, FN#16, FN#17, FN#18, FN#41, FN#43, FN#50, FN#56, FN#57, FN#58, FN#59, FN#60 iTunes is not a publication, not sure why it is italicized.
 Done
  • FN#5 is not a reliable source, I am not sure why you decided to use a site that is a host of porn videos would be a great citation to use to describe the worldwide success of "Mr. Saxobeats"? But yet an easy search for the song and its popularity in the United States can be found especially on Billboard where they spoke breifly on its success. There are countless sources out there, and if you live outside the United States you can still easily find these by doing an advanced search on Google and search within the region of the US.
 Done
 Not done ??
If you had read the link, I have decided to assume good judgement that everything sourced to the album's liner notes are actually written or said there since I do not have any way of checking myself. No need to change anything it's just a thing we Wikipedians like to say. jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN#8 Author?
 Not done There's no author to provide.
  • FN#9 Author? and The New York Times is a newspaper and needs to be italicized.
 Done
  • FN#10 Author? and the Huffington Post is a newspaper and needs to be italicized.
 Not done I think the website is temporary on working or such; couldn't find any author to provide
  • FN#11 what makes this a reliable source? I tried unsuccessfully to get to the contact page so I can do some research on the author to determine if the source could be reliable.
 Done Changed source
  • FN#12 looks like a gossipy news website, what makes it reliable?
 Not done The source is reliable; the newspaper also concepted a television show which is very popular in Romania
So is TMZ but that does not make it reliable because millions of people tune in to watch it. We need to know if the author who wrote it is credible in their core field. jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for giving you additional work to do, but I would like you to start the RSN.
  • FN#14, FN#19 per above, seems like a Romanian version of TMZ which is frowned upon.
 Not done The same like above.
Sorry for giving you additional work to do, but I would like you to start the RSN.
  • FN#15 iTunes is not a publication, not sure why it is italicized. Also, it does not provide information about a music video that was released, just a date when the digital copy was available for consumers to purchase.
 Not done FN#29 provides info about the music video.
I'm sorry but where in in this source does it explictiy say "music video"? This is a source for when the single was made available for download, I don't see a music video of the namesake anywhere. Can you please point to where? Thanks, jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The reference you are talking about is ref number 15, but you have to look for ref number 28.
  • FN#20 Author? Which Gazzetta newspaper is this one? Seems like there are a dozen published in Italy.
 Done
  • FN#22 I research the author and found that he has a BA for an unknown study and seems his core focus is on the entertainment sector but with no credibility to his name according to his 'about me' page. His Twitter and About Me page on "Everything Express" says that he is a freelancer and I don't see any credibility to his name.
 Not done Two of my good articles, "Give Me Your Everything" and " Dance" contained info from Everything Express and the two reviewers had no problem with it. I'm unsure about this point.
WP:OTHERSTUFFEXIST does not make it reliable, I happened to research the author and found him not credible enough (and the Peru blogger) to source anything he says. Just because another reviewer happened to allow it, does not make that reviewer the authority on subsequent reviews based on the same reference. Had the reviewer (or you) provided a discussion on Wikipedia where others had made a consensus on whether the author and his website were reliable enough, I wouldn't have mind you using it. If you strongly believe the website is reliable enough, I could then go ask the reliable sources noticeboard on your behalf and allow consensus to debate it. It's up to you, jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for giving you additional work to do, but I would like you to start the RSN.
  • FN#23 does not provide any sales or chart that is related to Stan, this album, or any singles from this album.
 Not done Yes it does, but you have to be logged in.
Please add that information there like you did on FN#48. jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Done There is already information about the need-to-register thing.
  • FN#24 is not a reliable source, further investigation has brought me to the owner of the website a non-qualified music writer which seems to be used as a blog by Will Meza from Peru. Also, a search on Wikipedia articles only brings me to this article and "Give Me Your Everything".
 Not done The same like with the "Everything Express - point" above.
 Done Removed the source.
  • FN#26, FN#27 is not a reliable source the same thing per above, the guy that runs the website does not have any qualifications and found a website he uses for people to ask him questions that's it.
 Done FN#27 is reliable; UTV is a popular music channel in Romania. Unsure about FN#26, as my good articles passed with contents from it.
Again WP:OTHERSTUFFEXIST is not a valid argument. Just because something is popular (like the TMZ case I said above) does not make it reliable, what makes him reliable? what are his qualifications? jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for giving you additional work to do, but I would like you to start the RSN.
  • FN#28 the video is not available and YouTube is usually frown upon, but not exclusively bad if the uploader has qualifications in the field they happen to critique on or the copyright owner of the material you are writing on.
 Done Removed the source
  • FN#30 does not say that the song peaked at number 42.
 Not done Yes it does. You have to search through the radio podcasts by listening them.
Please add that information there like you did on FN#48. jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Which information are you talking about?
  • FN#42 the author does not have any qualifications for the work he has written on and states that he like to discuss the "private lives of celebrities", but there's no information on where he gets this information from.
 Not done "Vanilla Chocolat" became a GA with content from this website. I'm unsure about this point.
Again WP:OTHERSTUFFEXIST is not a valid argument. Tell me what makes him reliable? What are his qualifications? jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry for giving you additional work to do, but I would like you to start the RSN.
  • FN#48 does not provide any chart information on the single in question.
 Not done The same like FN#30
Please add that information there like you did on FN#48. jona(talk) 19:13, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Which information are you talking about?

Please address the concerns over the sources you have used in writing this article. Best, jona(talk) 16:37, 21 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@AJona1992 Responded to your comments. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:54, 22 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@AJona1992 Responded once again to your comments. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 16:32, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Per your request, here is the discussion. Best, jona(talk) 01:09, 24 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@AJona1992: Have you got answers for your discussion? I can see it any more at RSN. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 14:39, 14 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
It was archived due to inactivity, I'll go ahead and make a new thread (more shorter and direct) to gather opinions. BTW, Alesta was released in the US finally =). – jona ✉ 15:27, 14 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Since the discussion was archived for a third time, it seems as though no other editor disagreed or agreed. But, since there was no consensus made, the sources can be used. I will continue on with this review. – jona ✉ 16:42, 24 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • ""Vanilla Chocolat" and "We Wanna" feature lyrics written in French and Spanish, respectively." - needs a source
  • "[she has]" - past tense
  • The first three sentences in the reception section needs a source
  • Daddy Yankee is an American per WP:NATIONALITY, Puerto Rico is an American territory.
@AJona1992:  Fixed Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:47, 25 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Great, passing article. Best, – jona ✉ 12:51, 25 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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