Talk:Vanitas (The Case Study of Vanitas)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 18:32, 28 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'm gonna review this article. Stay tuned.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 18:32, 28 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Tintor2: Okay, then. Sorry, mea culpa. I was extremely busy. So. The article looks fine. Just:

"Mochizuki regards Vanitas to be an eccentric and believes Vanitas is popular is because readers also have a certain interior". It seems more appropriate in Characterisation.
- Moved.
"..Kaito Ishikawa's plays are compliments". Ishikawa is Noé voice actor, right? I would specify it. What does 'compliments' means? 'Complementary' is probably better, no?
- Added

""Hanae makes full use of all the cool, uncool, and sexy parts to bring out the charm of Vanitas". Maybe 'he tried to make' is better.

- Done
I would simplify 'Appearances: The Case Study of Vanitas' a bit.
- Done
"Comic Book Resources said Vanitas' relationships are complex because he initially treats Jeanne and the more they interact, other characters appear to have similar feelings, which confuses the audience as a result of Noé's possible jealousy of them". The sentence seems unclear to me, and in general it sounds unremarkable.
- Removed
"Vanitas' change from fighting Jeanne into forcing a kiss with her was criticized for failing to reach comedy in the place of a seemingly scary scene because of the discomfort he generates in Jeanne when he suddenly announces his unconditional love". Can you simplify this?
- Done.
"A writer from Comic Book Resources said when Vanitas is feeding Jeanne, he trying to heal her after he learns she is also a victim of a curse". Is this important?

Thats' all.

@TeenAngels1234: Thanks for the comments.Tintor2 (talk) 22:12, 4 August 2022 (UTC) @TeenAngels1234: I trimmed the appearanes section. Tell me if it should be smaller.Tintor2 (talk) 01:17, 7 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]

"Deciving Wind". You mean "Deceiving"?
- Revised
"but is a bothered". Is the "a" necessary?
- Removed
"Jeanne into forcing a kiss with her was criticized being inappropiate as comedy". Maybe "as being inappropriate" is better.
- Revised.

Good article. Clear prose; good pictures. Good exposition. Exhaustive on the subject. Promoted.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:27, 7 August 2022 (UTC)[reply]