Talk:Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 20:23, 24 June 2018 (UTC)
- In the lead, I'd merge the first and fourth paragraphs. This way you can say once that the bridge is named after Giovanni da Verrazzano.
- Done.
Theengineer David B. Steinman- Done.
- However, in April 1934, the War Department announced its opposition to the bridge's construction, setting back plans for the Narrows Bridge. - I was going to ask "why", but the answer is two sentences later. Could you put this sentence next? The War Department's opposition to the bridge plan was based on the fact that a bridge could create a blockage during wartime, a rationale it gave for opposing a Brooklyn-Battery Bridge connecting Red Hook, Brooklyn, with Lower Manhattan. Your call if the wording needs to be changed to integrate it, but I'd merge the following paragraph - The city approved. It's all the same chapter of the overall story, and doesn't seem separate.
- I moved the sentence about the War Department's opposition rationale. I also rearranged the two paragraphs to chronological order. epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- You should explain what TBTA is the first time you use the acronym. Triborough Bridge and Tunnel Authority, I'm guessing?
- Yes. I actually put "(TBTA)" the first time the Triborough Bridge & Tunnel Authority is mentioned. epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- There are some WP:MOSNUM violations. 5 miles (8.0 km) - the 8 should be rounded. Also, units should be abbreviated on their 2nd usage throughout the article, but spelled out on their first.
- I tried rounding the convert templates and abbreviating them. I can't see this in WP:MOSNUM. Could you point it out to me? epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- ", equivalent to $2,525 million in present dollars." - you don't use current USD elsewhere in the article, so I'm not sure it's needed here.
- I have hidden it. epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- Moses did not invite any of the 12,000 workers to the opening,[110] so they boycotted the event and instead attended a mass in memory of the three workers who died during construction. - great way of making the article well-balanced. You've done a really good job writing this article.
- ten percent - be consistent in the "Opening" section with whether you spell percent or use the symbol
- Done.
- How big was the 1976 flag?
- I added a detail about that. epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- This unidirectional collection is still in effect as of March 2017. - surely as of more recent than that, right? You could say "into the 21st century" so you don't have to change the year.
- Done.
- Each of the two towers contains 1 million bolts and 3 million rivets. - add "about? Or is it implied that these figures are rounded? Or is it exact?
- These are rounded, so I added "about". epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- including Senator Martin Golden and Senator Andrew Lanza. - state senators?
- Yes.
All in all pretty good! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:23, 24 June 2018 (UTC)
- @Hurricanehink: Thank you for the review. I really appreciate it. I think I've addressed/replied to all your comments above. Please let me know if anything else needs to be fixed. Thanks again, epicgenius (talk) 02:05, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- Drop-in comment: Since you are both here to comment, would it be useful to have a Popular culture section since the bridge has been featured in such films as Saturday Night Fever here: [1]. JohnWickTwo (talk) 14:43, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
Looks good all around. I don't think Pop culture section is needed, but feel free to add. Regarding the units, I might've been mistaken, and it's not a big issue. Passing! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:30, 26 June 2018 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.