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Talk:View (Shinee song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Ojorojo (talk · contribs) 15:45, 19 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'll be reviewing this. On first reading, it appears well written and doesn't need much work. I usually review section by section and am not in a hurry. Hope this works for you. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:45, 19 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

[edit]
Resolved
  • Shinee seems to have a visual presence, but there are no images in the article. If there is no single cover, maybe add a promo photo that was used announcing the release or similar (here or later in the article).
  • added an image later in the "Promotion" section. Let me know if that works for you.
  • If much of the song is in Korean, maybe add |language=Korean or Korean, English (chorus) if appropriate.
  • added "Korean" under the language parameter in the infobox.
  • FYI only: |released= usually uses {{Start date}}; the 1st |length= doesn't need {{Duration}}; |chronology=,|header=, and |type= are already auto generated.
  • fixed

Lead

[edit]
Resolved
  • unlinked common terms
  • Jong-hyun penned the lyrics: Might help to identify him as the lead singer or at least as a band member. Also, if the lyricist is identified, the composer of the music should be as well.
  • introduced him
  • featuring a stripped-down instrumentation: I'm used to seeing this as featuring stripped-down instrumentation without the "a".
  • removed "a"
  • Commercially, the song reached: I'm not sure that "Commercially" adds anything (most readers would probably assume that Gaon is a commercial chart).
  • revised
  • going on an adventure with female fans: Maybe add a little more to this, since the video is the subject of an entire section.
  • revised

—Ojorojo (talk) 17:41, 19 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

[edit]
Resolved
  • Most of the first paragraph: This deals with the song's release, which comes after the songwriting and recording. As I mentioned in the "Mic Drop" PR, I prefer a more chronological layout. Consider moving to later in the article (up to you).
  • moved it later.
  • produced by LDN Noise ...: Maybe just a little more on who these people are and how they are related to the group. Also I don't see that the songwriting or production is mentioned in the ref.
  • introduced the team and added the supporting ref.
  • The song has a length of ...: It looks like Musicstax is a self-published source. Does Luke meet WP:SPS, i.e., a recognized expert, etc.?
  • While I'd like to see more musical information in WP articles, there is not much of it in reliable sources for pop music. WP:GACR criterion #2a. includes "all inline citations are from reliable sources". Sheet music publishers like Alfred or Hal Leonard often show this, but I didn't see any in a quick online search.[1] If you think Musicstax meets the SPS expert exception, OK. Otherwise, the article may have to do without.
  • Removed.
  • Listen box: The extra commentary "a deep house and pop song with stripped-down instrumentation" isn't really needed (MOS:CAPSUCCINCT). Also, |format= is no longer used.
  • removed
  • stripped-down instrumentation: Would it be possible to describe this, e.g., "with only keyboards, drums (machine?), bass (synth?) provided by SM studio musicians" or whatever is the case.
  • unfortunately that's not available, so I'm keeping it as "stripped-down".
  • "View" retains the ...: This and the next sentence are too close to the wording in Billboard (WP:PARAPHRASE).
  • revised
  • Having a sensual sound ...: I don't seethese points mentioned in the ref.
  • added a ref.
  • In the lyrics ...: Any info on why the English word "View" is used as the title for a Korean song and other English words/phrases are occasionally used?
  • again, unfortunately that's not mentioned.

—Ojorojo (talk) 16:49, 20 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Ojorojo, thank you for the comments. I've implemented the changes and replied above. Please let me know what you think. --Ashleyyoursmile! 06:07, 23 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
So far, so good. —Ojorojo (talk) 14:49, 23 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

[edit]
Resolved
  • linked
  • Removed link to NYC
  • Accolades table: I can't read the Korean sources, but do the awards have names, e.g., "Song of the Year", "Best Video by a – ...", etc.? For extra credit, the table can be made access friendly.

—Ojorojo (talk) 17:42, 23 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Maybe the table caption could indicate something like "Weekly music program winner" if the awards aren't named.
  • added

Charts & Release history

[edit]
Resolved
  • The info in both of these sections is already included in the "Release and commercial performance" section and doesn't appear to need repeating. See also MOS:TABLES "[Tables] should be used only when appropriate; sometimes the information in a table may be better presented as prose paragraphs or as an embedded list" and MOS:NO-TABLES includes "If a list is simple, it is generally better to use one of the standard Wikipedia list formats instead of a table. Lists are easier to maintain than tables, and are often easier to read."
  • removed.

Except for a review of the citations, that's about it. If there are a few stragglers, shall I fix them or list them here? —Ojorojo (talk) 15:53, 24 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • The citations look good; I'm assuming good faith that the Korean-language sources meet RS. I made some miscellaneous fixes, including as noted under the previous sections. I removed the "Credits and personnel" section, because they just duplicate what is already mentioned and referenced. Please feel free to change as you see fit. —Ojorojo (talk) 14:27, 25 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Points discussed above.

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Good work, Ashley. It's a pass. —Ojorojo (talk) 14:27, 25 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review. :) Ashleyyoursmile! 14:34, 25 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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