Talk:Yume Nikki: Dream Diary/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Adam (talk · contribs) 02:11, 4 June 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Skyshifter (talk · contribs) 23:07, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

I'll review this soon. Skyshiftertalk 23:07, 8 July 2024 (UTC)

General comments

• Images have valid fair use rationales
• No copyvio

Infobox and lead

• The lead describes the game as an "adventure horror game", but this isn't sourced in the body and the infobox only has "adventure" as a genre.

 Done added to body and horror to infobox; publications are somewhat loathe to precisely define its genre but this seems like a fair summary (i.e. not all of them say "it is a horror game" but they don't contradict the critics who do call it one)

• I did a minor copyedit to the lead.
• "and according to Playism" – this can be removed. You usually don't need to attribute what the developers themselves say about their game, and this doesn't seem like a controversial statement

 Done - this seems reasonable given my rereading of sources now, but for context it's unknown to what extent he was involved with the game and (I don't care to pull up every source to check which) I recall at least one or two sources questioning the claim entirely as there was really no way of confirming Kikiyama's involvement. Because most sources appear to have taken their word for it, I removed it, but it could certainly undergo a larger discussion if someone challenged it.

• "supervision by" → "supervision from"

 Done

Gameplay

• While the lead describes Dream Diary as an "adventure horror game", this is not mentioned here.

 Done

• "2004 game Yume Nikki" – link the game here

 Done

• "exited" → "left"

why?

• "The game has a minimal plot" → "Dream Diary has a minimal plot"

 Done

• "although there are some cutscenes which contain", for simplicity

 Not done - this is to emphasize the presence of the cutscenes, which might not be expected for a "plotless" game; "...although there are cutscenes..."

• Link "items" to Item (game terminology)

 Done

Development and release

• Remove link from Yume Nikki if added to Gameplay

 Done

• You can remove "reportedly" here, for the same reason as for removing "and according to Playism" in the lead

 Done

I did some rewriting and adding to this section as well

Reception

• You should try to add the reviews by MeriStation (reliable per WP:VGRS) and TechTudo (large Brazilian tech website; GAs like Pixel Gun 3D use it).

will do tomorrow

 Done

• "he and Shive complimented the creature designs" cite the DualShockers review again

 Done

• "lambasted" in the second paragraph seems to strong? "Criticize" or something similar would work
• "criticized" is used a lot in the last paragraph; could replace with other words

Spotchecks

Soon. Skyshiftertalk 18:23, 13 July 2024 (UTC)

Just a note that I'll be adding those reviews and possibly one or two more sources in the next ~day, would appreciate those being included in checks as well. Thank you! ~Adam ^{(talk · contribs)} 19:16, 15 July 2024 (UTC)

@Skyshifter: Sorry for the delay, added everything I wanted to, including the two sources you mentioned. ~Adam ^{(talk · contribs)} 01:25, 19 July 2024 (UTC)

Checking 1, 3, 7, 16.

• 1: OK, though I'm a little unsure on the "bootleg DVD covers" part. The article implies that Smith directly compared the world designs to "bootleg DVD covers", but in the source it wasn't direct.
• 3: OK
• 7: OK
• 16: OK

 On hold Skyshiftertalk 01:14, 20 July 2024 (UTC)

I changed the reception section a little and the part about the Smith review should read better/more accurately now. Let me know if there's anything else ~Adam ^{(talk · contribs)} 20:05, 22 July 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.