Talk:Zdravko Ponoš/GA1
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 01:16, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:16, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you. Vacant0 (talk) 10:43, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
For File:Ponos_i_Sutanovac.jpg, I suggest adding the terms and conditions link, asFile:Zdravko_Ponoš_i_Majkl_Malen.jpg does.- Done --Vacant0 (talk) 10:44, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- I have limited ability to evaluate Serbian sources; I've asked another editor to have a look if they have time and have spotchecked a couple using Google Translate to the best of my ability.
- No problem. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:45, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"He perfected his military skills at the Royal College of Defence Studies i": "perfected" is NPOV; suggest "He attended the Royal College of Defence Studies" instead.- Done --Vacant0 (talk) 10:45, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"He had previously published his work": suggest cutting "previously", since it's not clear what it refers to -- previous to what?- Done I've moved the sentence and re-worded it a bit, in the source it is mentioned that this all occurred while he was at the University of Belgrade. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:48, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"participated in professional gatherings": this seems trivial without details, which the source doesn't give; suggesting cutting this.- Done --Vacant0 (talk) 10:49, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"he and his team worked with various improvisations in order to prevent greater losses": this is vague. What does "various improvisations" mean?- Done Source says that they used improvisations in order to hear aviation that passed above their base better. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:52, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- "Ponoš accepted to step down": what does this mean? If Tadić dismissed him Ponoš had no choice, did he?
- Source states "
And this time, as a soldier, I will act in accordance with the decision of my superior
", should I change the sentence or leave it how it is? --Vacant0 (talk) 10:54, 18 August 2022 (UTC)- Unless there's some reason to think he had a choice in the matter I'd cut it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Done I've removed it. Vacant0 (talk) 12:14, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Unless there's some reason to think he had a choice in the matter I'd cut it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Source states "
- "Observers had considered this conflict to be a political move": vague; by who and to what end?
- Done Re-worded. Journalist Branka Mihajlović was the one who stated that. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:56, 18 August 2022 (UTC)**
- That helps, but what is meant by political move? The conflict has already been described as political: he was called by "conservative politicians" to resign. What is this telling us that's new? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Done I've clarified what she meant to say, it's in the first paragraph in the source. Vacant0 (talk) 12:18, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- That helps, but what is meant by political move? The conflict has already been described as political: he was called by "conservative politicians" to resign. What is this telling us that's new? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Done Re-worded. Journalist Branka Mihajlović was the one who stated that. --Vacant0 (talk) 10:56, 18 August 2022 (UTC)**
- "Ponoš was previously called by conservative politicians to resign due to his reforms and pro-Western views." We already said this at the start of the previous paragraph; is there any reason to repeat it?
- I've replaced the location of these two sentences, although I believe that it should stay considering that two scholarly sources back up that claim. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:00, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not suggesting we eliminate it, but it seems to be in the article twice. We have "Ponoš was the focus of media attention in April 2007, when conservative politicians argued that Ponoš should be replaced due to his pro-Western comments" and then "He was previously called by conservative politicians to resign due to his reforms and pro-Western views". Aren't these saying the same thing? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Done I see now. Is it alright now? Vacant0 (talk) 12:21, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not suggesting we eliminate it, but it seems to be in the article twice. We have "Ponoš was the focus of media attention in April 2007, when conservative politicians argued that Ponoš should be replaced due to his pro-Western comments" and then "He was previously called by conservative politicians to resign due to his reforms and pro-Western views". Aren't these saying the same thing? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- I've replaced the location of these two sentences, although I believe that it should stay considering that two scholarly sources back up that claim. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:00, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- "He served in that position until the change of government in 2012." What position? The previous two sentences are about actions he took, not positions. Should this be "He worked for Jeremić until the change of government in 2012"?
- Done That sounds good, I've changed it. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:02, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
'"Ponoš stated that "an occurrence of another Dritan Abazović would be more significant than the agreement".' What is this referring to?- Done Looking at this now, I think it's irrelevant. He did not state the reason behind it, so I'll remove it. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:04, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"Sanda Rašković Ivić condemned the attacks that were done by pro-government media and MPs": attacks on who? Why is this relevant to this article?- Done I've clarified that these attacks were done on Ponoš. Rašković Ivić is one of the vice-presidents of the People's Party, a role which Ponoš used to serve until late 2021. As far as I know, she was the only one who condemned these attacks on Ponoš from that party. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:08, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- "in which the media has spread misinformation about his career and views": this needs excellent sourcing. BIRN seems a reasonable source, but I don't have a subscription and can't see the material you're using to source this, can you quote whatever you're using from there? The other sites, Vreme and Danas, seem OK.
- BIRN source states "
So since he was unveiled as a challenger to incumbent Aleksandar Vucic in Serbia’s upcoming presidential election, pro-government media have turned it all against him. Headlines branded Ponos a “NATO general” for his efforts to modernise the Serbian army and forge ties with the West as chief of the General Staff of the Serbian armed forces between 2006 and 2008; tabloids scorned the fact he holds a Croatian as well as a Serbian passport, skimming over the suffering of his elderly relatives forced to flee their family home at the end of the 1991-95 Croatian war.
" --Vacant0 (talk) 11:10, 18 August 2022 (UTC)- I've added another source which was previously present in the article. Vacant0 (talk) 11:12, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- That doesn't support "misinformation", just that there were attacks. Do the other sources support "misinformation"? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Those sources do not state "misinformation", I've changed it to "attacks". Vacant0 (talk) 12:27, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- That doesn't support "misinformation", just that there were attacks. Do the other sources support "misinformation"? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:07, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- I've added another source which was previously present in the article. Vacant0 (talk) 11:12, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- BIRN source states "
"He had previously supported the so-called "four pillars" of Serbian foreign policy, in which he also included European integration, Kosovo, and regional cooperation": what are these four pillars?- Done Clarified, this is a term invented by Boris Tadić. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:16, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
"He has also expressed his opposition to diplomatic freeze": what does this refer to?- Done I've re-worded the sentence, it is now in line with the source. --Vacant0 (talk) 11:21, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:47, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
Fixes all look good. I'm going to delay passing this in case I get further feedback on the sources from the editor I asked about it; if they don't respond by tomorrow I'll pass it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 13:32, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you! Vacant0 (talk) 13:38, 18 August 2022 (UTC)
- Looks like the editor I asked is busy, so I'm going to go ahead and pass this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:49, 19 August 2022 (UTC)