The Starving Games
| The Starving Games | |
|---|---|
 Theatrical release poster | |
| Directed by | Jason Friedberg Aaron Seltzer |
| Written by | Jason Friedberg Aaron Seltzer |
| Produced by | Peter Safran |
| Starring | |
| Edited by | Peck Prior |
| Music by | Timothy Michael Wynn |
Production companies | |
| Distributed by | Ketchup Entertainment |
Release date |
|
Running time | 83 minutes (PG-13) 93 minutes (unrated cut) |
| Country | United States |
| Language | English |
| Budget | $4.5 million |
| Box office | $3.8 million[2] |
The Starving Games is a 2013 American parody film based on The Hunger Games and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The film stars Maiara Walsh, Cody Christian, Brant Daugherty, Lauren Bowles and Diedrich Bader. It is Friedberg and Seltzer's first film to be distributed independently after a long relationship with each other, being released simultaneously, in theaters and video on demand by distribution start-up Ketchup Entertainment.
Plot
Kantmiss Evershot practices archery in the forest, but her boyfriend, Dale, surprises her; the arrow accidentally hits the Wizard of Oz. As they return to District 12, where the residents fight over food, kids who are afraid of getting picked for the Games are injuring themselves by smashing themselves with pans or cutting off their feet and still being content. At the Gathering for the 75th annual Starving Games, President Snowballs explains he separated America into districts to keep "stupid stuff" from happening again, such as Lady Gaga being president with her running mate as Nicki Minaj; due to this, the rich now dress in bright and odd clothing. He also reveals the winner will win an old ham which expired in 1979, a pickle he's taken a bite out of, and a coupon to Subway. During the drawing for District 12's contestants, trouble occurs as vulgar name puns get drawn first. Petunia, Kantmiss's sister, tricks Kantmiss into volunteering when she gets picked by crying crocodile tears; Dale tries volunteering too, but idiotic Peter Malarkey beats him to it. The night before the Games, the contestants are being interviewed by Stanley Ceaserman, the host of the Starving Games countdown show. A stylist named Cinnamon gives Kantmiss a red dress, but it turns out he mistook her for another contestant in the Games. When Peter reveals his affection for Marco, a contestant from District 1 who is favored to win, Kantmiss is so furious that she literally sticks a foot up his rear end. When Kantmiss appears on stage, a video reveals how Dale first fell in love with her. It reveals that he was attracted to the sight of her defecating in the woods, which the audience finds pleasant. When Kantmiss spins her dress and catches fire, she starts screaming and swearing. There are also sports commentators for the Games, Bob Hylon and Cleaver Williams, a past Games winner who got his nickname by using a meat cleaver to kill a contestant.
Just before the start of the Games, LMFAO appears in the Arena, mistaking it for the opening ceremonies. When they realize their mistake, they step off the silver circles and get blown up due to the field having explosives underneath. When the game begins, Kantmiss watches others fight for equipment as their numbers dwindle, due to getting what they want or being killed in scuffles (including one instance where Marco kills a cowardly contestant by literally giving him a wedgie so hard that it splits him in half). Kantmiss grabs a backpack (after fighting over with another girl who lived through having two daggers being struck in her back and neck as well having the lower half of her body sawed off) and tries fleeing, but the producer sends Angry Birds to attack her; she defeats them and squashes the Annoying Orange. Peter teams up with Marco's group, who aim to kill Kantmiss. She hides on top of a tree, but then thinks that Marco spots Kantmiss and gets out a stick, but it turns out that he's actually swinging at a piñata. After he breaks open the piñata and gathers the candy with two other teenagers, he spots Kantmiss. Later, one of the teenagers tries to shoot Kantmiss with an arrow but a streaker interrupts her. Marco then tries to kill her with a spear but it suddenly kills one of his own allies instead. They flee when she knocks down a beehive using a chainsaw; Kantmiss is stung, and the venom causes her to hallucinate she is a Na'vi, and kills all the soul keepers, until she is slapped back to her senses by fellow contestant Rudy; they team up, vowing to kill the other contestants first. Kantmiss kills some by playing on weaknesses. When Marco tries to kill Kantmiss, the halftime whistle blows, and then a halftime show with cheerleaders begins. District 12 has become obsessed with the Starving Games and Kantmiss, selling merchandise having to do with either one of them. When halftime is over, Marco again tries to kill Kantmiss, but Rudy kicks his shin. Marco then kicks Rudy high in the air and hitting a tree, resulting in Rudy getting killed by saving Kantmiss, although she doesn't die until Taylor Swift sings that she will. The crowd in District 12 tries to riot to overthrow the president's government, but the government runs a parody of a Carl's Jr commercial featuring a burger featuring several ingredients like cheese, hot dogs, pepperoni pizza, broccoli, onions, spam, chitlins, and ice cream.
Wanting to spice up the games, Snowballs wants a lesbian love story, but learns Kantmiss is the only woman left; thus only a straight romance is possible. The producer announces a couple can win the games, making Kantmiss decide to team up with Marco over Peter; however, the producer fakes being killed to convince her to search for Peter instead. She finds Peter, who's been badly injured by Marco's group via rough back waxing. Kantmiss kills all but Marco, fleeing with Peter to a cave. As Peter starts to have a fever, she offers things to keep him warm, like a Snuggie and an electric blanket, but she uses them for herself instead. Peter reveals that he would follow her home from school every day, and remembers when she was 8 and got her first doll, as well as when she turned 12 and had her first period. He also reveals he would watch her shower every night and shows her a hair doll he made of him, Kantmiss, six kids and a dog from her hair that he would collect from the drain. Since Kantmiss is keeping distant from Peter, the producer offers a trade; he'll send medical supplies to treat Peter if she gets more intimate with him. As Kantmiss and Peter start to have sex, Gandalf and Dwarves appear in the cave, lecherously groping her; they are promptly evicted. To get better medical supplies, Kantmiss has sex with Peter, which is televised. Dale is left disgusted by this and barges into the Starving Games arena. He gets very angry at Kantmiss, and hates Peter even more than he did before.
The next day, Peter tries getting Kantmiss to have sex with him again, but she nearly crushes his fingers in response. They and Marco end up walking around the same tree, to the annoyance of the audience. Kantmiss and Peter surprise Marco, but Snowballs orders Seleca (the producer), to send in the "big guns", which is sending in the Expendables, but an armed Dale arrives, killing them all, telling Kantmiss to come back with him. Kantmiss orders him to leave; he promptly breaks up with her, while she dismisses him as clingy. Marco holds Peter hostage, but Kantmiss shoots a loaf of bread into his eye, killing him. The producer announces there can only be one winner again. Peter tries convincing Kantmiss to commit suicide with him by ingesting poisonous berries, to not give those in charge the satisfaction of them fighting to the death; Kantmiss kills Peter with an arrow, saying it is nothing personal, echoing Rudy's earlier words. Afterwards, Nick Fury and the Avengers show up, with Fury saying he wants Kantmiss to join the Avengers team as a replacement for Hawkeye. Then, the Avengers all die after stepping off their platforms and onto mines.
Reception
The movie received overwhelmingly negative reviews. Review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a score of 0% based on reviews from 11 critics.[3]
Joe Leydon of Variety called it a "stillborn spoof" and "desperately unfunny".[4] Scott Foy of Dread Central rated it 1.5/5 stars and wrote, "The printed word cannot fully express my dismay at having experienced this latest alleged comedy". CM says "This is insulting to the real Hunger Games, and is aggravating to anyone who even watches it!"[5] Gabe Torio of Indiewire wrote that the film "is as terrible as you think it is".[6] Max Nicholson of IGN called it "a horrible, horrible piece of cinema that needn't be watched by any person ever."[7] Fred Topel of Crave Online rated it 1.5/10 and called it "more of the same, only worse."[8]
Box office performance
For the first time in Friedberg and Seltzer's careers, the movie was a box office bomb, with only $3,889,688 earned against its $4.5 million budget.
Cast
- Maiara Walsh as Kantmiss Evershot
- Cody Christian as Peter Malarkey
- Brant Daugherty as Dale
- Diedrich Bader as President Snowballs
- Lauren Bowles as Effoff
See also
References
- ^ "The Starving Games: Exclusive Clip". Crave Online. 2013-11-04. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?page=intl&id=starvinggames.htm
- ^ "The Starving Games". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ Leydon, Joe (2013-11-12). "Review: 'The Starving Games'". Variety. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ Foy, Scott (2013-11-15). "Starving Games, The (2013)". Dread Central. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ Torio, Gabe (2013-11-08). "Review: 'The Starving Games' Is As Terrible As You Think It Is". Indiewire. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ Nicholson, Max (2013-11-08). "Half the calories, zero the laughs". IGN. Retrieved 2014-01-01.
- ^ Topel, Fred (2013-11-13). "Review: The Starving Games". Crave Online. Retrieved 2014-01-01.