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User:Abcquantumle/Water privatization in Dar es Salaam/Nathan.brenn Peer Review

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General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

Abcquantumle

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Abcquantumle/Water privatization in Dar es Salaam
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Water privatization in Dar es Salaam

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

Your additions to this section are very detailed and hold a great deal of substance. It seems you've gone live with your edits so I cannot see what it was before (without going through the edit history). I have a few suggestions and parts that seemed slightly confusing. First, "Dublin Statement 1992" should probably be "Dublin Statement of 1992" or "the 1992 Dublin Statement". The next sentence "However, pro-reformers exploited..." is a bit confusing. I know you talk about some pro-reformer action in the previous sentence but this transition is not clear. Think about writing out "International Monetary Fund" and/or linking a Wiki article in case people are not familiar with the IMF. In the phrase "argued that 'Water is life' and 'Water Democracy', "argued" doesn't make sense with "Water Democracy" so maybe add a phrase before water democracy like "fought for" or something similar. The end of this sentence works well and opens up the article for further discussion!

Good work!