User:AdamFreeRein/Kettle Dodger

Kettle Dodger

Everywhere around the globe, in homes, in offices there are Kettle Dodgers, doing whatever they can to avoid making a hot beverage for their peers, colleagues and families.

Early warning signs

Many things lead people to becoming Kettle Dodgers, laziness, disregard for hydration levels of anyone but themselves, fear of boiling water... the list goes on.

Worrying Ratios

A Kettle Dodger will easily go days without making a brew, or will sneak under the radar with a sub standard 1 in every 8 made performance, this is NOT acceptable!!

Cases

Some forms of Kettle Dodging are far worse than others, some beyond salvation. A stand out case in 2009 was that of Ian of Internet Marketing Agency Free Rein (http://www.free-rein.net) Ian has an advanced level of skill and experience in Kettle Dodging, outrages such as moaning about the quality of coffee and tea made by a regular hot drink maker at Free Rein, Claiming to have 'Made the last one' or "I made one yesterday" are just two examples of what has now become something of a sour point in the otherwise great team spirit at Free Rein.

What can be done?

There will soon be a supporting website for naming and shaming Kettle Dodgers in an effort to lead these individuals into reform. Emails and other less extreme measures will work in some cases but in the case highlighted above nothing has worked.

I'm a Kettle Dodger, who can relate to me?

If you like Ian are a full blown Kettle Dodger and feel it is too late to change your ways, try the following... Get up and walk to the Kettle (In Ian's case only 3 steps away!) , Look at it, perhaps look at other peoples mugs and cups... then when you are ready, sit back down and wait for someone else to make one as per normal!!

WRITER NOTES:

This is an original article, however I have no doubt this is a common problem and more source links will follow.

Addendum - Identifying similar traits

Short round - Easily identified as a rapid rise from the chair and rushing to the kettle when there are only 2 or 3 people in the office. Most often employed by Kettle Dodgers first thing in the morning or at lunch time (often when colleagues have volunteered to do the "sandwich run".

Enough milk for one - Self explanatory and often allied to the excuse that the Kettle Dodger has a deadline to meet and cannot afford the time to replenish the milk supply.

James Carn of GeoPost IT has been voted by his colleagues as a kettle dodger of the highest order.