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Piece of crap Andypandy.UK's RfA Criteria is a crappy article, which means it has been identified as one of the crappiest and most awful articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you see a way this page can be updated or improved, especially if it compromises previous work, we implore you to contribute.

My current criteria for admin is as follows:

  1. User must have helped at least 10 articles considerably reach featured status
  2. User must have an empty block log
  3. Their signature must be acceptable (see WP:SIG)
  4. They must be cool as a cucumber, preferably be commander cool
  5. They must have left a begging note with a photo of themselves shown grovelling with a piece of paper with my name on it on my talk page
  6. Must be fluent in at least three spoken languages, and one computer language
  7. They have gotten drunk with Jimbo Wales at least once
  8. They must have at least Googol amount of edits
  9. They must have eaten a vandal for breakfast, dinner, lunch, tea and supper.
  10. They must have spent at least 24 hours continuously editing wikipedia without sleep

--More to be added in the future

NOTE: exceptions can be made if number 5 is satisfactory.

NOTE: I haven't created a serious 'RfA criteria' because the I disagree with the whole idea. Candidates should be treated like individuals, not be compared to my own "Are you cool or not?" test.