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User:Avrillarios/Health in Nicaragua/AB.cal Peer Review

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General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

Avrillarios

Link to draft you're reviewing
User:Avrillarios/Health in Nicaragua
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Health in Nicaragua

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

The lead section of the original article was definitely lacking in introductory quality; the additions do a good job of framing the rest of the topics covered by the article! However at times the tone seems to sway away from neutral (or into an essay-voice), especially in the phrase "a complex and intricate challenge". There is also new information mentioned in both the new and suggested content that doesn't appear in the rest of the article; I would suggest adding these elsewhere and only briefly referring to them in the lead. There is also no source for the final added statement (about infrastructure exacerbating health issues), which makes it seem like the article is making a claim instead of presenting neutral facts (but maybe linking another Wikipedia article serves this purpose, as has been done).