User:BrownHairedGirl/Incubator — Ballyporeen/News
- February 2019: The Great Flood of Ballyporeen is cancelled after a planning meeting with Irish Water descended into a brawl over who would pay for the buckets to clean up afterwards
- July 2017: the United Nations Security Council unanimously condemns Rabindranath Tagore, W.B. Yeats and the Meister Eckhart for causing international scandal by refusing to attend the Ballyporeen writing festival, offering no better excuse than being dead
- December 2011: centuries of camel farming in Ballyporeen comes to abrupt end as the entire herd is wiped out by an asteroid which escaped from a malformed sci-fi comic in Cappoquin
- 23 April 2009: Greta Garbo, Vladimir Putin, Vlad the Impaler, Hugh Roe O'Donnell, Fidel Castro, Pat Ingoldsby all don't visit Ballyporeen
- 19 October 2008: the Great Drought of Ballyporeen ends as the Murphy's Stout lorry arrives from Cork
- January 2007: Mao Zedong visits Ballyporeen to sign a contract for the village's stone masons to build the Great Wall of China
- 14 September 2005: the internet is invented by the junior infants class at St Joseph's national school in Ballyporeen