Have you ever found yourself wanting to give a gift to a fellow Wikipedian? It's understandable; such gestures are considered to be kind and appreciative, and they help build trust and understanding between editors. Can't figure out what to give? That's where this guide comes in! Neither the author of this page, Wikipedia, or the Wikimedia Foundation is responsible for any legal trouble, physical harm, or other unpleasant goings-on which may result from the giving of any recommended gifts, or of suggestions of such givings of said recommended gifts, or of not giving any gifts at all, in any plausible or implausible way, shape, or form, for any reason whatsoever. By giving any suggested gifts, you agree to this term. Ha ha; you can't sue me now if you get your ass kicked, sucker!
For the administrator who denied your request for protection of a page which was subsequently trashed by vandals. Because you should always use protection. Always.
Here's a goddamned teddy bear. I know we had a bit of a dispute earlier, and things got pretty ugly, but I have to be nice to you or I'll get banned. So take it. Just remember I still hate you. I mean, uh, have a nice day!
The Brooklyn Bridge for you... if you're willing to pay a small fee, of course![edit]
For those really gullible people, like the ones who think Wikipedia actually runs on policies. Ha! Those turds! "The cabal isn't real," they say. "Of course it's not," you reply. Ha ha!
A newspaper which trashes you based on information from your Wikipedia article for you![edit]
Know somebody who just doesn't seem to understand WP:BLP? Just chronicle their rather below-par love life in the local paper. "But this isn't true!" they shout. "Well, not all of it, at least. But anyway, where'd this information come from?" "Well, I don't -- wait a minute!" you reply. "Look at this unsourced biography of a living person on Wikipedia. And guess who it's about!" They should come around real quick.
