User:Dora Nichov/Stories

The Tale Of A VIV (Very Important Velociraptor)

Note: There's some anthropomorphism in this story, though (I hope) not enough to ruin the true nature of these animals.

Prologue

The big female Velociraptor looked up at the night sky. "What are you thinking about dear?" asked the male Velociraptor who was preening her. The female Velociraptor, the dominant female of her pack, turned to her mate. "Tomorrow... this month's chicks will have their ceremony of adulthood, their first hunt." "It's breeding season for the Protoceratops," an old voice wheezed. It was Graytuft, the oldest Velociraptor in the pack. He had been in the pack as long as anyone could remember, and though he rarely went on hunts, his experience made him one of the most respected and valued pack members, even by the alpha pair. "The big bulls will be aggressive... very aggressive.. but they'll be weakened in territorial battles..." he continued. "Perfect," said the female, tucking her head under an arm to sleep.

Chapter 1: The Hunt

Rip was excited as he trotted along with the other young Velociraptor. They were going hunting at last! Of course, he had already hunted small animals like lizards and mammals before, but... Large game! Pack hunting! Intestines and blood spilling everywhere! It sounded exciting... fun too. The older Velociraptor had told them that they were going to hunt a Protoceratops, and from the sound of it, Protoceratops hunting was exhilarating.

Except for small prey, Rip had never seen what he had been eating close up. He had heard a lot about dinosaurs called "Prenocephale", "Homalocephale", "Shuvuuia", "Graciliceratops" and "Protoceratops" but all he knew about them was the taste. But what the adults hadn't told him was that hunting these animals was anything but fun.

Nor had they told him what this "ceremony of adulthood" was for. In reality, this was a test. Any young Velociraptor that survives the hunt will become a true pack member. So it was a bloody process indeed.

Then they were there. A big bull Protoceratops, battered and bruised from courtship battles, was taking a break on a sand dune. Rip had never seen anything like it: bulky body, stout legs, a stout beak. a short frill attached to the back of its head... And it was huge (as far as Rip knew)! It was 8ft long from tail to beak. One of the adults accompanying the young Velociraptor warned them to stay hidden.

Then two adult ran up to the Protoceratops, circling it. The Protoceratops got to its feet and bellowed. The young Velociraptor heard it snap its beak -- which didn't seem at all pleasant to the ears. It turned its head towards one of the adult Velociraptor. In that instant, the other jumped onto its back and the other followed.

It was a deadly mode of hunting. Hanging on with their nimble hands, the Velociraptor clambered all over the desert herbivore and kicked at its flanks with their sickle claws. The young Velociraptor couldn't keep their eyes off the scene. They were learning, but they didn't know it. The Protoceratops tried to wedge its frill under the Velociraptor to get them off, but they were careful to stay away from the head.

Normally, the exhausted Protoceratops would have been killed instantly. But this was not a hunt for food, it was a ceremonious affair. Jumping off and landing a few feet away, the Velociraptor left the bull and ran back to Rip and the others.

Rip felt himself shoved from behind and suddenly found himself face to face with the big Protoceratops. The herbivore roared, and Rip got a very good look at its beak -- extremely sharp and powerful. Any Velociraptor that got caught in that thing would never live to hunt again. This was definitely exciting. Too exciting. Rip chirped and backed up, not knowing what to do.

The Protoceratops started pawing the ground. In the split second it was about to charge, however, it turned to snap at something else. While Rip had been (unintentionally) distracting it, one of the bolder Velociraptor had jumped on its back, trying to imitate the adults. Though they didn't know it, this was strategic hunting!

Sadly, it didn't last long. The inexperienced young Velociraptor weren't very good at holding on and the Protoceratops shook them off easily. And that was when the real excitement began. The Protoceratops ran at the Velociraptor, snapping its beak and tossing its head. They scattered. Some of them were tempted to run back to the safety of the pack, but they were shooed back to the hunt by the adults. Rip dodged as the Protoceratops charged at him at full tilt. Another Velociraptor behind him received the blow and was knocked to the ground, dead.

As the Velociraptor's mode of fight turned to flight, the Protoceratops ran off across the sand dunes, still bellowing in anger and pain. Rip had been lucky. He wasn't even wounded. But four other young Velociraptor were dead, and a fifth was injured too seriously to recover.

Only after the Protoceratops was in full retreat were the remaining Velociraptor allowed back in the pack. They had failed to bring down their target, but that didn't matter. It happened every time. Except for the five dead and dying Velociraptor, Rip and the others had passed the test!

Rip stared at the dead bodies lying in the sand and the blood on his own claws. There was no glory, no elation in his heart. Exciting the hunt was, but it was anything but fun.

Chapter 2: A Visit From Big T

For the next few weeks, all the young Velociraptor that had passed the test accompanied the pack on hunts. For the time being, they didn't choose such difficult targets like bull Protoceratops. So far, the biggest thing they had brought down was an injured female Prenocephale. Despite the increase in numbers, the pack weren't taking any chances when there was plentiful prey.

One day, as they were about to feast on a Homalocephale carcass, they heard a tremendous roaring. The adult Velociraptor became tense. Rip and the others lay close to the desert sand, trying to camouflage themselves. It was an instinctive reflex from when they were still chicks -- when in danger, lie low.

Massive three toed feet stomped across the desert sands. When it came to size, it dwarfed the 8ft Protoceratops by almost 5 times in length and 20 times in weight. Its great head with 6in teeth was in stark contrast to its tiny arms. A Tarbosaurus.

All the adult Velociraptor knew who he was. Big T the Tarbosaurus had roamed the Gobi Desert from east to west and north to south, trailing after hadrosaur herds. He sometimes stole carcasses from the Velociraptor pack or ate Velociraptor chicks, but for most part, he kept his distance and neither species bothered the other.

The Velociraptor backed away. Big T was the biggest predator in the desert. Few could oppose him. Big T reached down and swallowed the Homalocephale whole. But he didn't leave. There was something -- something nasty -- in his eyes.

"What do you want?" snarled Valance, the alpha female, stepping forward, joined by her mate Switchblade. Big T opened his great mouth. He laughed. "Greetings, lesser predators! Let me pay my respects!" He grinned, showing all his sharp white teeth. "I have decided this place looks great! Plentiful prey, shade, small pools of water! It'll suit me nicely!"

"You're asking us to move are you?" asked Switchblade. "HAHAHA!" Big T was in hysterics. "Do... HAHAHA... you... HAHAHA... really... HAHAHA... have... HAHAHA... to... HAHAHA... ask... HAHAHA... this!? YES! All of you, yes, move away! No one ever disobeys Big T!"

After the whole thing, Rip was too overwhelmed by Big T's gargantuan size and teeth to remember much except the conversation.

"That's probably because you never pick on anyone your own size." "Silence! There is no one my own size here!" "How about...?" "If I say there isn't, there isn't!" "Is this temporary or permanent?" "Maybe temporary, more likely permanent! You have two weeks to move. I'll be back..."

Chapter 3: The Old Legends

Rip liked to listen to the meetings of the adults. These meetings usually took place at night, when the younger pack members were asleep. All except for Rip. Ever since he was a chick he had been eavesdropping on the meetings, and so far, he hadn't missed a single one. He didn't always understand the words they used, but he could understand enough. He had known about the hunting ceremony before the others did. Last year, he had known that the drought would come and fed more greedily than ever upon the food the adults brought back. He had survived his first drought. Some of the other chicks (especially the youngest and weakest) weren't so lucky. And tonight, he felt that there was going to be a meeting.

He heard the quiet snoring of his siblings. The chirping of nocturnal insects. The scurrying of some small animal -- probably a mammal. A distant cry from an unidentifiable dinosaur. Then there was the gentle rustling of the adults gathering. Rip cocked his head to one side and listened.

The alpha pair and Graytuft were always at the meetings. And the other higher ranking members were ordered to attend. Lower-rankers usually attended too -- but no one really cared and their opinions were rarely taken into account. Of course, once in a while there'd be a lower-ranker that actually spoke sense -- Graytuft was good at identifying these occasions. On these occasions, the lower-ranker sometimes got automatically promoted.

First there was talk about things like the weather and the population of prey -- the usual. Rip listened, but wasn't really paying attention. Then...

"What of Big T?" asked someone. There was a brief pause before Valance spoke: "We all know it's useless to contend with Big T over a scrap of territory, Plumecrest. What else is there to do? We have no chance against him in a fight." "Maybe... bluff?" asked Racer, known for his hunting skills, especially when it came to speed. "Bluff isn't going to scare Big T. Not when he's intent on snatching this place," declared Switchblade. "Do you think there's anything to be done, Graytuft?" "The old legends say that Tarbosaurus can be driven off..." Here everyone (including Rip) held their breath, straining to hear Graytuft's "words of wisdom". "... but they're all beyond our natural abilities."

Beyond our natural abilities? thought Rip. Maybe there's something out there that CAN drive Big T out and away? And that was when he thought back to his chickhood days, the old legends the adults used to tell -- or at least, the more famous of the old legends -- only Graytuft could actually memorize the whole lot -- mentioned giant dromaeosaurs, three times bigger than any Velociraptor. And here a brilliant idea screamed inside Rip's mind: Why not enlist the help of another species? Surely a pack of those big dromaeosaurs would be a match for Big T?

But then came the big question: Who was to enlist their help? If he mentioned this idea to the adults, he'd be called crazy. No Velociraptor in the history of Velociraptor history had ever allied another species to defeat an enemy. The only one who could carry out this plan was: him.

Chapter 4: A Talk With Old Graytuft

Rip knew that he had to slip away quietly. He may be old enough to join the pack, but he was nowhere near old enough to leave it. He formed a simple plan: He would run off while everyone else was hunting. He had no idea where to find these giant dromaeosaurs, but he would have to get away from the pack first. He went to sleep, knowing that he would need his strength tomorrow.

The next day, early in the morning, Rip and all the other young Velociraptor were woken by the adults. It was time to hunt, as usual. As everyone followed the alpha pair out into the desert, Rip lagged behind. Gradually, everyone else had passed him, and he went off silently in the opposite direction, keeping himself low to the ground and avoiding pebbles and dry wood, which would create noises if he tread on them.

He looked around at the Velociraptor's home. It was the last time he was going to see it in a long time, if ever. He remembered that a few eggs had been laid recently and that several Velociraptor pairs were still here. Stepping quietly past the shrubs that hid the nesting ground, he stared out at the vast expanse of desert. He sighed. Then he strode forward, determined not to pause or look back. Then all of a sudden...

"Where are you going, Rip?" Rip paused. Rip looked back. He had forgotten that Graytuft rarely, if ever, went on hunts. He had also forgotten that Graytuft was one adult who wouldn't call him crazy if he told him his wild ideas. Even if Graytuft would do so, it was nearly impossible to lie to him. There was something in his eyes that just made you think he could see past any fib -- either way, lying would be useless.

In an instant, Rip was spilling out his story. Graytuft didn't interrupt. He just stood still with his eyes closed, and Rip wasn't sure if he was listening or not, but somehow he knew that he had to go on talking. "But no one will listen to me, so I must do this myself," Rip finished. Graytuft didn't reply.

Then another thought hit Rip. "But... but they would listen to you, Graytuft." Velociraptor didn't have fancy titles. Body language was usually enough, and Rip had his head low and claws hidden in order to show his submission. Graytuft turned his head and opened his yellow eyes. "What makes you think that, Rip?" "Because... because you know everything..." Graytuft seemed to fix his eyes on somewhere distant. "Listen to me, Rip. If the desert sands equaled all there is in this world to learn, what I know would only equal one grain of sand."

No one said a word. Rip pondered this over and decided that he wasn't really sure what message Graytuft was trying to give him. "So... will you help me?" Graytuft didn't seem to hear him. He just fell (or pretended to fall) into a trance said, "The Achillobator can be found south of the oasis, east of the red cliff. Good luck, Rip." And he walked off without another word.

Rip was more confused than ever. All he knew was that Graytuft wasn't going to help him this time. Sighing, he continued on his trek.

Graytuft peered at him from behind a bit of shrub. "What have I done?"

Chapter 5: Desert Battle

Rip traveled for days, feeding on small game and resting in the shade of shrubs. He tried to avoid anything that seemed alien to him, while constantly on the lookout for the oasis Graytuft had told him about.

One morning, he was woken a loud snorting and grunting. He tried to run, but instead found himself staring at an angry Homalocephale, ready to charge.

The pachycephalosaur rushed at him. He dodged, feeling the 7ft long body brush past. Screaming in both fury and terror, something inside Rip made him hurl himself at the herbivore, driving one sickle claw deep into its thigh, while his other kicked its flank. It wasn't a good hold and he found himself landing with a thump on the desert sand, the dust flew everywhere, but his nictitating membrane managed to protect his eyes.

The Homalocephale was barely ten feet away, pawing the ground. Rip leaped into the air, but the Homalocephale's head swiped his side and he was thrown up high to be sent sprawling in the sand once more.

Rip was aching all over. No bones had been broken, but he couldn't find his strength. The Homalocephale was getting ready for another charge. This time, it would be fatal. Rip lifted his head from the ground, and managed to lift himself up on his shaky limbs. It was too late to run. The Homalocephale was coming at him at full speed. Rip shut his eyes tight, flopped onto his back and kicked his legs straight in the air.

He heard the grunt of the unsatisfied Homalocephale as its head missed its intended target, then that grunt turned into a bellow of pain, then a high-pitched scream. Something heavy landed hard inches away from him.

Rip stood up. The Homalocephale lay dead on the desert sand, blood flowing out of two puncture wounds in its throat. He had managed to stab the Homalocephale in the throat with his sickle claws.

Although he still ached all over, Rip felt very good. The pachycephalosaur was the largest prey so far he had killed on its own. He could already see pterosaurs gathering overhead, but he knew they wouldn't come too close while he was around. Smiling to himself, he started to feast on the carcass with great gusto.

Chapter 6: Military Training

Rip felt even better when he woke up the next day, as he no longer ached. He managed to catch a smaller relative of the Homalocephale, a Micropachycephalosaurus. Then he continued his journey.

He stopped to rest in the shade of a shrub, but instead he heard a loud screeching, the scraping of hundreds of claws scratching at the sand, and the "thud thuds" of dozens of objects striking the ground. He started to feel fear. What if something was coming to get him? Big T perhaps?

He froze, tense and shivering with fright, but the sounds didn't die down. On the bright side, they weren't growing louder either. At last, he managed to gather enough courage to peer through the twigs and branches of the shrub and see what was making such a ruckus.

It was a great flock of dinosaurs, each about 20ft long! They had long legs and long necks. Their small heads were tipped with toothless beaks! And they were covered in down all over.

Rip didn't know what they were. But he knew they weren't Big T's kind, and they weren't Achillobator because they looked nothing like a dromaeosaur.

Each of the dinosaurs had its head down near a shrub, scratching with its hind claws and pecking with its beak. One was feeding alarmingly close to Rip's shrub. He watched as it ate tender shoots off the shrub and nab insects that it managed to uncover.

They eat plants and meat... Rip thought. He had never seen such a dinosaur, and he still wasn't sure if these big dinosaurs were dangerous.

One big male was standing at the front. He was the only one with his head up, and Rip presumed he was watching for danger. "Attention!" he shouted. It made Rip jump, and all of the dinosaurs raised their heads to looked at him. "We only have a few minutes left, Gallimimus troops, when I signal, prepare to go!"

The Gallimimus went back to feeding, this time with great haste. Rip cocked his head. He had only tasted Gallimimus once in his life, so they evidentially weren't too easy to catch. They were certainly bigger than anything else he had eaten before, but maybe there was some other reason...

Suddenly, the Gallimimus that had been feeding at his shrub stopped pecking, and Rip found himself staring into its huge eye. "Ambush!" it screamed. Ambush? Where? The Gallimimus were scattering left and right. Rip jumped out of his hiding place and ran, but he was stopped by a three-toed foot slamming into the ground in front of him.

"Ah! It's just a lone Velociraptor, troops, false alarm." It was the big male. Then it dawned on Rip. He had been mistaken for a ambush! Somehow, that made him feel good inside. The big Gallimimus bent his head over on his long neck. "What's a low-ranking fuzzball like you doing on such a hot day?" Low ranking fuzzball, thought Rip. Well, that certainly made his spirits drop. But he decided that the Gallimimus was just joking and didn't mean harm at all, so he told him his story.

Unlike Graytuft, the Gallimimus responded quite enthusiastically. "It looks like you need some military training Rip! Join my army! I'm Sergeant Bullatus by the way." "Your... army?" "Yep, best troops you'll ever find, now why don't you position yourself among those little ones over there and off we go!"

The "little ones" turned out to be a small group of half-grown Gallimimus that were even fuzzier than the adults were. At 13ft, they were still much bigger than Rip, though they seemed quite alarmed of him.

The flock was off. At first Rip had no trouble keeping up. Then the entire group accelerated. And Rip was left coughing and blinking dust out of his eyes. He was trying his best, but the flock, juveniles and all, was becoming a tiny spot in the distance. He knew why Gallimimus were so hard to catch now. He had thought that military training meant fighting enemies and ripping guts out, but he was wrong.

He finally caught up with them in late afternoon, near a shallow waterhole. He was hot and panting. The approaching night air was cooling him down, but he still collapsed on the spot.

Chapter 7: Improvement...?

By the time Rip woke, the flock, ahem, army, was already ready to go. "What? Not again!" Rip cried. He was positive this was the worst time he ever had. But he knew he'd probably die. He was in the middle of nowhere. He hoped Sergeant Bullatus would orient him back on the right path. Or was it just cruel humor on the Gallimimus' part?

"Oooh..." Rip groaned, rubbing his dazed head. He had been traveling with the Gallimimus for days. "That must have been the hundredth time..." "Actually, it was the hundred and thirty-third time," said the Sergeant, who seemed to be able to count on a total of just six fingers. "On the bright side, you woke after just an hour. It used to be twice as long." "I'm hopeless. Sorry, Sergeant."

Suddenly, the Sergeant lowered his head down so their eyes were level. "And now, Rip, our roads part." "It's OK, Sergeant. You don't have to fire me. I was thinking about leaving anyway..." Rip backed up, scared and confused. "No need to worry kid. You've been here long enough. A few last words, and remember them well. The military is not all about raw power. You need the speed, the organization, the agility, the endurance. You will never be able to do as well as we can, but you can do as well as any of your kind can. I have taught you all I know, and it'd be foolish to keep you in the army any longer. See those trees in the distance? That's the oasis you're looking for. See that area with a bunch little mounds? Cross that place and you're there. No doubt you can get to the oasis in a day. I wish you luck, Rip, and I expect to hear great things from you."

It was late afternoon when Rip reached what the Sergeant had called "little mounds". As soon as he did, he stopped short. The whole place was an oviraptorid nesting ground. Most of them were Oviraptor. He had always been warned about these. Though they rarely bothered adult Velociraptor unless threatened, they seemed to consider young Velociraptor a delicacy, and Rip knew he would definitely serve as a square meal for two, not to mention a nestful of chicks. There were also a few Citipati, bigger than Oviraptor and even more aggressive. In one corner, in the distance, closer to the oasis, were a small group of Nomingia, which were about the same size as Rip was. As Rip stepped forward, he saw nearly a hundred pairs of eyes turn to look at him. Some of the oviraptorids were brooding, others were standing by their nests. Some nests had two parents guarding, some only had one, with the other having gone off to hunt.

The nesting ground spanned wide. It looked much smaller than it really was when the Sergeant had been talking about it. Going around it would take another day at least. But the Sergeant had said it would just take a day for Rip to get to the oasis, and the day was almost over.

Maybe the Sergeant had been mistaken. Rip started to go around the nesting ground.

One Oviraptor lunged at him. Rip dodged, but too late he realized he had dodged deeper into the nesting ground rather than away from it. Several oviraptorids were closing in, raising their hand claws and fanning out their arm feathers. They held their beaks wide open and screeched deafeningly. Rip leaped away from them, and more rose to kill him. He was dodging and running and leaping for his life in no direction in particular, blindingly trusting entirely to his instincts.

He stepped into a Citipati nest, crushing an egg. Egg white and yolk splattered onto his foot. He heard the angry scream of the parent just as he jumped towards the oasis, the hand claws snatching at him, narrowly missing.

Rip was now in the Nomingia colony. They were less aggressive, but they still screeched at him menacingly. One charged him. There was only one bound left before he could reach the oasis. He jumped, dodging yet another Nomingia and kicking the attacking one in the side, leaving two bright red claw marks. He ran straight into the dense trees, the oviraptorids snapping at him inches away from his tail tip.

Chapter 8: The Oviraptorids' Revenge

Rip was more shaken than he ever was but he was also happier than ever. He had reached the oasis. Some oasis! It was a lake, surrounded by a ring of tall trees. Trees were strange to Rip, as there were few in the desert. Indeed, he spent quite a long time admiring a tall conifer.

Then he remembered how tired he was and quickly ran to the lakeside. Water! Wonderful water! There was more water than Rip had ever seen in his life, and he thought that he could drink here nonstop for a hundred years and never rob the place of all its glistening water.

He drank and drank and drank. Velociraptor were used to going for long periods without water, but they drank ravenously when water was available.

He was so intent on drinking he didn't hear the soft footsteps of a one ton, three-toed animal approach, and didn't notice the 30ft shadow looming over him...

Then three sharp claws made a grab for him!

Rip choked on the water he had been drinking and darted forward, splashing into the water. The creature pursuing him was huge, almost as big as Big T. It towered over Rip, raised on stilt-like legs. Its short, stout, beaky head was held even higher on a long neck. Its arms were long and each of its fingers were tipped with a horrendously sharp claw.

It screamed at Rip, lunging again. Rip dodged, and realizing that this strange dinosaur could definitely wade further than he could, headed for shore. The claws missed him again.

Another thing Rip noticed was that this dinosaur was fast! It was all he could do to avoid its sudden grabs. In fact, he felt that he would definitely lose in a race in spite of his lightweight body against this animal. He had to use his agility.

He ran for the dense brush, but he heard the calls of a still-angry Oviraptor and remembered the nesting site. He was trapped.

When Rip turned to look up at his attacker, he realized it was a giant oviraptorid.

The giant launched a final blow. Rip saw the strike come in slow motion and leaped backwards, closing his eyes. He landed on a huge knobbly boulder. Something was swaying wildly beneath his feet. Thinking that he was about to be devoured, fell back, ready for a final, futile struggle.

The sand was flying everywhere, striking his face. There was a loud crack. Then he fainted.

Chapter 9: Life In An Oasis

Rip woke. It was already sunset. He stretched out his sore limbs under the warm glow of remaining rays of the sun. He jumped up suddenly, remembering what had happened. He looked at his own hands, and turned his head to look at his own tail. He was... alive... uninjured too. Was it all a dream? He could still see the lake and the conifer forest that surrounded it. He was still standing on the boulder. He bit himself. He was conscious all right. But something was different.

When he had fainted, the forest was right beside him, now it seemed several feet away. And where was his attacker?

Suddenly, the boulder moved.

Rip jumped into the air again. And only now he realized that he wasn't standing on a boulder at all. He was standing on a dinosaur.

The dinosaur was squat in appearance, about 26ft long and very wide. Bits of bone were studded densely across its skin, forming impenetrable armor. At one end was a long tail with a ball of more bone, tightly packed together. Its head was blunt, covered by a single plate of armor. Two small spikes jutted out from the sides of the head, right above and behind the creature's beady little eyes.

It was browsing nonchalantly on a shrub, its stubby beak tearing off the lower twigs and leaves quite efficiently. It didn't seem to have noticed Rip at all.

As Rip stepped forward, towards the beast's head, it sniffed loudly, grunted and shook its head. Rip couldn't see how it could harm him while he was still on its back, so he decided to make some conversation. Perhaps he could learn more about the oasis, or where the "red cliffs" Graytuft had talked about were, or maybe about the thing that had attacked him.

"Er..." He paused, trying to think of where to start. The dinosaur looked up. It seemed to have noticed him at last. "Name's Tark," it said with its mouth full. Tark swallowed the vegetation he was eating and started to take another bite. Rip nodded to show that he was listening (even though Tark didn't look like he cared) and decided that his own miraculous survival was the first thing he wanted to know about.

"Where... where is that... that... thing?" he finally managed. "That thing," Tark repeated dully. He shook his head, as if trying to remember something. After a long while (it enough for him to eat three mouthfuls of plants)... "Oh, Gigantoraptor. Was coming at me fast, I hit him, he's dead." Tark spoke simply, but he had told Rip what he wanted to know. Yet Rip didn't think he would get much of an answer if he asked for directions. Tark was still stuffing mouthful after mouthful of plants into his beak.

"Well, thanks Tark..." Rip's voice trailed off as Tark responded with an uninterested grunt. Rip hopped off the armored herbivore's back and trotted back to where Gigantoraptor had attacked him, passing by Tark's formidable tail weapon as he went.

And there, lay a body. The body of Gigantoraptor, the left thigh and hip area smashed into a disgusting mess. A small flock of Avimimus were already feasting on the carcass of their larger relative. Despite being roughly the same size as Rip was, they quickly scattered as he approached. He tore into the carcass hungrily -- it was only now had he noticed his terrible hunger.

Rip stayed at the oasis for a while, regaining his strength and feeding from Gigantoraptor's carcass. The Avimimus came every once in a while and took their share. Rip ignored them most of the time -- it just seemed wrong to him to eat something that fed from the same carcass as he did all the time. He could always see Tark browsing in someplace or another, but, since a conversation with him could barely be called interesting, ignored him.

One moonlit night, another massive animal appeared by the lake, bigger than Gigantoraptor or even Big T. It had four-toed, stumpy feet and stood upright. Its arms were long, and it kept them folded close to its body. It had a long neck and a tiny head, the end of which had a beak. It was covered in down. Most impressive (and alarming) were its long foreclaws. Each claw was longer than Rip's body. Rip screamed out loud in fright, but the bizarre creature looked up from the lake and stepped in front of him before he could run.

"What's your hurry, little one?" The creature had a surprisingly kind voice and it slowly lowered itself until it was sitting, propping itself up with its claws and pubis bone. It was the strangest position Rip had ever seen any dinosaur in. The animal reached up to grab a handful (clawful?) of leaves to eat, as if to show Rip it was a harmless herbivore. Seeing as Rip said nothing (in fact, he was paralyzed by shock at seeing such an unreal beast before him), he spoke first. "My name is Zino. What's yours?"

Finally convinced that Zino meant no harm, Rip told him his story. Zino was silent throughout the telling, except for the soft munching of leaves. Rip felt strangely good to talk so freely again, and he said so towards the end of his story. "Tark is so boring..." he said.

"You know many things, don't you, Rip?" Zino asked. Rip was confused. This had nothing to do with his story. "No... no, I really don't..." Rip stammered. "Even if you don't, you will. You'll have to learn of the ways of the creatures in this desert, and whether they are friends, foes or prey, and how to deal with them if they're the latter, as all Velociraptor need to know." Rip nodded. Zino was right. "Tark on the other hand, doesn't know much, does he?" Rip nodded again. "But he knows one thing. He knows how to use that club of his, something that all Tarchia need to know, and all that they need to know. You know plenty, he knows one, but you both survive, don't you? You both thrive in this harsh land -- not that the oasis is, I'm speaking generally of the desert itself. There is always more than one solution to every problem Rip, remember that." Zino smiled and Rip understood.

The next day, Rip continued his journey. He bid goodbye to the flock of Avimimus and told them the carcass was all theirs from now on, and even to Tark, who didn't respond. And of course, he bid goodbye to his new friend, the strange yet wise Zino. Zino was eating a cycad plant, and waved his great claws in farewell. Rip started off. "Oh," said Zino suddenly as his finished the cycad. "One more thing Rip... Watch out for the Achillobator."

Chapter 10: The Sandstorm

A Mononykus scrabbled at the bark of a dead shrub with his hindclaws. Flecks of wood sprayed to the ground. Insects and their larvae scattered and wriggled, now exposed, they were trying to get undercover once more. The Mononykus struck hard, snapping up the fleeing arthropods, sometimes two at a time.

After the majority of the insects had been eaten, the Mononykus set his claws on another patch of bark, ready to attack again. But first, he looked up, his great big eyes scanning the vicinity for danger. Throughout his entire life, he never once forgot that something else could be watching him, especially while he was feeding with his head down.

There was an explosion of feathers as Rip attacked. He had missed, the Mononykus' alert manner had, as it did so many times before, saved the alvarezsaur.

Rip could still see the Mononykus running off on his long spindly legs. He gave chase. He had been traveling in the desert for days, feeding on small prey and pondering Zino's warning. After all... Watch out for the Achillobator? What was that about?

He soon realized that he had no hope in catching up with his quarry. Had the Mononykus been the same size as Sergeant Bullatus, he would be the fastest dinosaur in the desert. Rip was built for agility, not speed. He was tiring.

All of a sudden, the Mononykus screamed out loud and sped up. Something inside Rip yelled, "RUN YOU IDIOT!" His heart beating fast, sudden energy flooding into him, Rip ran, following the Mononykus.

Something was roaring, but it didn't seem to be Big T. In fact, it didn't even seem to be alive. All Rip knew was that little grains of sand were striking him hard and clouding his vision. His nictitating membrane was snapped tightly shut, so he could still see, but he might as well have closed his eyes. He could no longer see the Mononykus and was just running at random, all he wanted was to get away from this mess.

He couldn't hear... his ears were too full of the roaring... He couldn't see... everything ahead of him was the color of sand... He throbbed in every part of his body... He was coughing and spluttering now...

Then it ended. The roaring was still there, but not as close. And he could see... at least, he could see something other than sand. He was in a dark place. He moved forward and brushed against a grainy wall. As his eyes got used to the darkness, he could see that he was walled in from the top and both sides, but there was plenty of room for his four foot body to turn around. He was in a cave. Further back in the cave was more darkness, meaning that it was pretty deep, probably even a tunnel. He was too tired to explore, however. Turning around, he saw the opening of the cave. There was nothing to see outside except for the great wall of sand and the invisible wind that was blowing it about.

Rip had unwittingly found himself the perfect shelter. He squatted down and decided to sleep -- as there was nothing else to do -- and wait out the sandstorm. But then...

There a shuffling noise came from the depths of the cave. It echoed -- making it even more scarier. The most disturbing thing was that it was getting louder. It sounded like the walk of something pretty heavy. Rip sprang to his feet, ready to run, but he was trapped between the sandstorm and whatever was coming at him, which was doubtlessly larger than he was...

Chapter 11: Segno

The creature stopped a few feet away from Rip, who had backed up so much the tip of his tail was nearly outside the cave and he could still feel the wind blowing.

"Velociraptor mongoliensis!" The creature spoke. "A velociraptorine dromaeosaurid deinonychosaurian maniraptoran coelurosaurian tetanurine theropod saurischian dinosaurian dinosauromorph ornithodiran archosaurian diapsid reptilian amniote tetrapod sarcopterygian osteichthyan gnathostome vertebrate chordate animal. Found in the deserts and scrublands of eastern Laurasia. Carnivorous and social, usually found in small packs. Feeds mainly upon small herbivorous dinosaurs and smaller prey."

Rip shook his head subconsciously. He didn't understand a word the creature had said. In the dim light he could barely make out the creature's silhouette. It was facing him, so he couldn't judge its length, but it was much taller than he was. It had a long neck and a small head and seemed to fold its long arms to its size. It walked with a shuffling flat-footed gait. And it seemed really familiar... "Zino?"

But it couldn't be Zino. As big as this dinosaur was, Zino was bigger still. As if reading Rip's mind, the mysterious dinosaur spoke again: "Nope, not Therizinosaurus cheloniformis. Segnosaurus galbinensis, also from Therizinosauria, but most just call me Segno."

Rip didn't say a word.

"You're lost, aren't you?" Segno stepped forward. She was clearly no threat, like Zino, her beak was small and her teeth blunt. She was an herbivore.

"How... how do you know?" Rip managed a stammer.

"It's obvious. You look confused and frightened, you're almost certainly alone and I'm also guessing that it was that sandstorm that drove you in here. So, what happened?"

Rip told his story all over again. "But..." he added as he finished. "I'm confused. Zino told me to watch out for the Achillobator. But I have to find them to save the pack from Big T."

Segno tipped her head stared at the roof of the cave. "So, where did Graytuft say they could be found again?" she questioned him back. Bewildered, Rip replied, "He said south of the oasis, east of the red cliff. I've found the oasis and gone south of it already, I just need to find the red cliff..."

"Red cliff..." Segno muttered to herself. She seemed to be thinking hard. "Well Rip... you're inside it."

Chapter 12: The Red Cliff

Rip couldn't sleep. He fidgeted upon his bed of conifer leaves, thinking of all Segno had told him. The pack he belonged to was known as the Basin Pack, since their territory was within the boundaries of a huge basin formed by tall sand dunes. There was but one opening, it was through this opening that the hadrosaur herds migrated to and from the oasis and Big T followed them. Segno had said that the hadrosaurs would come soon, but apparently Big T had got here first. For what? Just to take a bit of land from a pack of Velociraptor?

And the tallest point of the series of sand dunes was known as the Red Cliff. It wasn't literally red, but since it was at the extreme west of the basin, it was here that the sun set and made it glow orange at dusk. And the cave... Segno had dug this cave with her own claws. She had let Rip stay for the night, and widened out a little chamber for him. Her claws were large and they had shifted the soil easily.

And he still didn't know what to think of the Achillobator...

Rip woke up rather late the next morning. Segno was not in the cave, so he went out and managed to catch a Graciliceratops for breakfast, then decided to wait until Segno came back.

Segno returned half an hour later. She had been feeding on a small conifer patch nearby, which was also the place she got all her bedding. Once again, Rip told her about his confusion.

"If I give you a straight answer, it would ruin the efforts of Zino and Graytuft and everyone else who had helped you on your journey," Segno replied. Rip groaned to himself. Why did everyone have to talk in riddles?

"But I'll tell you what to do," Segno continued. "You need to dig and put all the pieces together."

Rip tried to make himself look puzzled, but Segno didn't speak, so he went to a random part of the cave wall and tried to dig. His sharp little claws scored deep lines in the sand but were no good at shoveling. He kicked at the cave wall in frustration, but, of course, nothing happened.

"I didn't mean that literally," said Segno, with the beginnings of a grin. Then she scooped a large portion of the sand away.

Clunk. Something fell to the ground. It was a bone. Rip knew about bones, of course. He saw them whenever he ate. And he could tell that this was a skull, but he couldn't tell what kind of skull. It had a strange-looking crest like an oviraptorid, but its mouth was lined with sharp teeth. The creature it belonged to couldn't have been much bigger than ten feet.

"What's... what's that bone?" Rip asked. Segno picked it up in her claws. "Well, actually, it's a rock, but it's what I've been looking for. I've been wondering what the rest of Big T's ancestor looked like." Rip was both confused and shocked. A skull-shaped rock? Big T's ancestor? Segno sensed his confusion and began to explain all about fossils, as well as about a small theropod that lived 85 million years from their time called Guanlong wucaii.

Chapter 13: Achillobator

Rip left Segno's cave the next day. He had a feeling he was close to discovering the truth for himself now. Segno had pointed east out to him before he left. He had a feeling he could do this. Yes, the plan would succeed.

A loud honking stopped him in his tracks. And there, in the not-so-distant distance, was a giant herbivore in great danger.

The 30ft long Saurolophus reared up, honking and bucking like a mad horse. It was being attacked by a pack of giant dromaeosaurs. One dromaeosaur latched onto its side. The Saurolophus tried to shake it off, but a second one joined the attack. And even more were coming from every single direction at once. The Saurolophus was bigger than any of the dromaeosaurs, but it didn't stand a chance against them. Slashing with their hand claws and stabbing with their sickle claws, the dromaeosaurs carved up their still living prey, who was entirely helpless against their onslaught.

The Saurolophus toppled and landed with a thump onto the sand. The dromaeosaurs erupted in a feeding frenzy and swiftly tore the body into bits.

Rip was amazed at the efficiency and ferocity of the giant dromaeosaurs. Surely he was right about them being able to defeat Big T! Now, just how should he approach them? He had been successful in all his attempts to befriend other species so far, so this shouldn't be too difficult, right?

In the end, he decided to be as casual as possible. The Achillobator were certainly fierce hunters, but he didn't know how they'd act towards a random stranger.

The Achillobator ate their fill and rested in the shade of a tree. Rip slowly stepped forwards, towards the carcass. Would they notice him?

Nothing happened, increasing Rip's boldness. He ran a little, then skidded to a stop. He saw one Achillobator turn its head.

Rip couldn't tell if it had seen him or not. At least he didn't at first. But suddenly, the Achillobator came at him.

Except something else got to him first. A Zosuchus, an aggressive scavenger, lunged at him. Rip dodged the powerful jaws. The Zosuchus started for him menacingly. Rip backed up, ready to turn and run.

The Zosuchus rose into the air in the jaws of the Achillobator.

The Achillobator tossed the limp body aside. Rip tried to make himself look formal and unafraid, but the Achillobator ignored his incentive to chat. It attacked.

Rip acted quickly, dodging to one side. Then he started to run in the opposite direction.

The Achillobator was agile, but Rip was even more so. He could just feel the Achillobator right behind him, snapping and snatching at him.

Rip turned his head for one moment, and in that split second, he slipped on some loose sand. He saw the Achillobator arch its back. Its entire body had transformed into a big spring, ready to pounce.

The moment Rip saw the Achillobator leap into the air, he rolled to one side. He imagined the great claws slashing him into nothingness, but instead he heard a thump nearby and sand flying into the air, smothering him.

Rip blew his nose, snorting out grains of sand. He could barely see the Achillbator get up from the ground, bewilderedly shaking its head. It had obviously landed too hard, sand was clinging to its feathers. It ignored Rip (this Velociraptor was certainly not worth catching) and returned to its pack in a disgruntled manner.

Rip clawed and scrabbled his way out of the sand. Luckily, he hadn't been buried too deep, or he could have died from suffocation.

Rip was glad he wasn't dead, but he was also disappointed, angry, frustrated and a bunch of other mixed-up emotions. He wasn't even looking where he was going. So, pretty soon, he bumped his head on something.

The three-toed foot of Big T.

Chapter 14: Death Himself

Rip took a step back. He could see Big T's giant jaws filled with giant teeth, but somehow he wasn't afraid. The only thing he felt was frustration. He had come so far, yet his plan failed. He had been so sure he'd succeed! He was angry, and he wanted to vent his anger on something. And Big T was conveniently nearby.

"Hey! You!" Rip yelled out loud, which was both bold and stupid. Then he saw Big T's eyes, and the look in them seemed to give him a jolt.

Big T wasn't looking in at him. He was glaring in the direction of the Achillobator pack, his eyes filled with more hatred than Rip had ever seen in his life. It was only now that Rip fully understood why the adult Velociraptor always said that Big T was death himself.

Then Big T turned to Rip, his stare rooting him to the ground. Rip was petrified. He wanted to run, but couldn't.

But the hatred was gone. And, instead of swallowing Rip whole, Big T spoke. "A Velociraptor? This isn't your territory."

"No," Rip managed to say. Still unsure but slightly more confident, he added, "you were going to take it."

Big T growled. "Yes..." His eyes looked different again. Rip blinked. What was he seeing? "What did you want with the Achillobator?"

"To get rid of you," Rip spat. He needed no reminding of his failure.

All of a sudden Big T didn't seem so terrible. The tyrannosaur hesitated, then spoke a different, non-threatening, troubled voice. "I did it because I lost my own. I wasn't in the basin at the time, I was still following the Saurolophus. But then I heard from pterosaur gossip that the Achillobator had taken it..." Rip knew of pterosaur gossip. Graytuft had always said that one could learn a lot from pterosaur gossip, especially about the movements of prey animals and rival predators, weather, water sourcces and so on. Big T continued, "I returned to the basin to claim it... But the Achillobator... the Achillobator... There's a whole pack of them, They're too powerful. The basin cannot hold three species of big game hunters. There's no other way..."

Only now Rip realized Big T had been in the same predicament as he was all along. And everything snapped into place. "No other way...? There's always another way..." Zino's words floated back into Rip's mind. "There's always more than one solution to every problem."

The fierce predatory glint returned to Big T's eyes. "Thank you, lesser predator."

Chapter 15: The Last Piece

The anger and disappointment had vanished from Rip's mind to be replaced by unending confusion. It was nighttime, but he didn't know what to do. What had he achieved? The Achillobator were still out there and Big T... There was no guessing what Big T was going to do about this... Would he take the Velociraptor's territory anyway? Was his thanks to Rip genuine or a sarcastic remark? Or...?

Rip shivered from the cold night winds of the desert. He had to find some shelter where he could sleep and think this over. What had he made this journey for? Had his attempt to save the pack been a complete failure? Maybe it had been stupid of him to think that he could stop Big T. Maybe he should just curl up in the open where he would fall to the elements and die. He was barely a pack member yet, no one would miss him... And female Velociraptor were fast breeders. Losing someone as inexperienced as him would make no difference.

Then he heard something stepping ever so softly across the sand. He froze on the spot. No... It wasn't coming his way, but it aroused his curiosity. He spun around in its direction...

The silhouette of Big T, clearly defined in the moonlight! Big T seemed to be stalking something. It was amazing that someone as big as Big T could move so silently. Rip watched the tyrannosaur pause and swing his head.

"He's sniffing the air," Rip spoke to himself. He had heard the Big T could hunt with his nose, making him different from the Velociraptor.

Then Big T charged. Even as he kicked up clouds of dust, he was as silent as ever. Rip noticed his long, thin legs. They were a lot like the legs of a Gallimimus, the legs of a true runner.

The tyrannosaur came up with something in his mouth. The vertebrae of his victim cracked loudly in the night, making Rip's spine tingle. Big T tossed the body aside.

Loud screeches erupted as more shadowy forms burst into view, some scattering in fright and confusion, others trying to counterattack. Rip saw Big T bend down and grab one, killing it instantly. He was attacking the Achillobator pack!

The Achillobator were unprepared. They had been sleeping, and even with the moon shining bright they still had a disadvantage in the relative darkness. Most of them fled, and those that didn't lay dead.

The survivors pelted at full speed in the direction of the canyon that lead out of the basin, and then they were gone.

Epilogue

The Achillobator were never seen in the basin again, and Rip started his journey home in high spirits. He sheltered for one night in Segno's cave. Segno didn't seem surprised that he had succeeded in saving his pack and their territory. "I didn't know," she said. "But you looked happy when you came in, so you must have done it."

The second night, Rip managed to reach the oasis and was surprised to meet Sergeant Bullatus and his "army" there. The Sergeant congratulated Rip immensely and tried to invite him to dine on the rich amounts of plankton in the oasis. Rip, lacking the means to feed on the minuscule organisms, politely refused. Zino and Tark were there too. Tark didn't seem to recognize him, only responding to Rip's greetings by munching more plants and grunting, but Zino just smiled and winked at Rip.

It took Rip a few more days to get home. He had taken the long way around the oviraptorid's nesting ground, as he was in no hurry. He burst into the pack's camp, ready to spread the good news, but instead he was interrupted by Graytuft. "Big T got here first," the old Velociraptor said. "No one will be bothering our territory anytime soon. Big T has promised that he'll protect us from intruders as long as he lives. You must have helped him a great deal." Rip gasped. He didn't realize that a short talk with Big T would do that much. Graytuft grinned. "Not that many Velociraptor could make an ally out of a Tarbosaurus. You are a truly exceptional Velociraptor, Rip."

THE END

Brightwing -- not done yet

Note: Like The Tale Of A VIV, this story is somewhat anthropomorphic.

Prologue

"You want me to kill things for you and be your servant!? INSANITY!" roared the towering creature. Its broad head and vicious-looking teeth were silhouetted against the full moon. At its feet a small feathered dinosaur tried not to flinch.

"This is INASNITY, Talon!" the larger dinosaur repeated. "Killing them isn't worth a thing! You KNOW I don't eat such fancy stuff! Too small and feathery! Now... GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU FRIGGIN' MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A BIRD OR I'LL SLAUGHTER YOU AND YOUR LOT INSTEAD!"

Behind Talon was his pack, most of whom were too fearful of the giant predator to come close. At these threatening words they cowered and tensed, ready to run. Talon, however, remained calm.

"We'll hunt for you, Das. We'll hunt for you until you've destroyed the enemy..." "THE ENEMY!? HA! WHAT DOES A PETTY TERRITORY DISPUTE HAVE TO DO WITH ME!? AND HUNT FOR ME EH? SURE YOU WILL! YOU THINK YOU'RE A BETTER HUNTER THAN I AM!? YOU THINK I CAN'T HUNT FOR MYSELF YOU..."

"Please, Das. This isn't just a territory dispute. It's a large scale ecosystem change..." "WHAT CHANGE? JUST DROMAEOSAURUS BEIN' REPLACED BY ATROCIRAPTOR THAT'S ALL! THEY'RE ALL THE SAME! THE SAME, YA HEAR ME!" The last sentence was bellowed as Das swung his great head down to glare at Talon, who was blown backwards by the force. He could smell Das' bad breath. Talon sighed again. He took a deep breath to make one last attempt.

"Das... If this goes well, you won't have to do a thing... We'll bring you everything, from prey to those that have to be executed... At the very least, we'll tell you where they are beforehand..." "IF ALL GOES WELL!?" "All will go well, Das... Here, Brokentooth. Show Das what we've got for him."

Talon's pack parted like a curtain to show the dead body of an herbivore, a juvenile Styracosaurus. Das sniffed the carcass and ripped it in half, swallowing the hindquarters whole. "Consider it done, Talon. BUT IF YOU LET ME GO HUNGRY FOR ONE DAY..." "Thank you, Das. We shall not disappoint you..."

Chapter 1: Captured

Brightwing could smell prey. Should he go after it? He sniffed hard. Parksosaurus. He should be able to take it down without help. He was young and lean, and the Parksosaurus didn't seem to have detected him yet. It would only be a little while. He wouldn't stray too far from the pack... The pack were still sleeping. They wouldn't mind that he went out hunting early. Brightwing started to stalk his prey.

There! Flicking in and out of his field of vision was the 8ft herbivore. It was bigger than he was, and faster, but Brightwing knew it would rather flee than fight. Besides, he'd kill it before it could do either.

Only a few fronds of ferns separated predator from prey. Brightwing held his breath. The Parksosaurus had its back to him, but it had 360 degrees vision. Brightwing would have to wait. If he moved, the Parksosaurus would sense him and dart off at over 40 miles per hour.

The Parksosaurus did a quick predator scan, then lowered its head to the ground. Its powerful beak snipped off little ferns and shoots.

Now! Brightwing charged out of hiding. He accelerated, ready to spring upon the Parksosaurus and end its life with a few well-placed stabs and bites.

Brightwing burst through the ferns. Suddenly, the Parksosaurus darted away with a high-pitched cry. Brightwing cursed silently. He had just missed! Something must have alerted the ornithopod a split second earlier than he would have tolerated.

Loud screeching filled Brightwing's ears and he turned to flee. The strong scent of dromaeosaurs wafted up his nose. Dromaeosaurs, but not his kind!

He decided to flee, but something crashed into his side, knocking him down. He rolled over to present his sharp claws at his attacker -- or was it attackers? A clawed foot slammed into Brightwing's stomach, knocking his breath out. He kicked out but only managed to claw off a few feathers from the base of his enemy's tail. Staring at the foot that held him to the ground, he could see a cocked sickle claw shining bright under the sun.

Brightwing waited for the claw to come down and stab into his abdomen, killing him instantly, but it didn't happen. He tried to lift his head, but heard a warning hiss. He lay down again, taking a good look at his captor. It was smaller than a full-grown Atrociraptor but nonetheless powerfully built. Its head was too broad, and its scent and body patterns were different. A Dromaeosaurus! What was it doing so far from its territory?

Brightwing could hear hisses and mutterings. The Dromaeosaurus seemed to have brought its whole pack along...

Chapter 2: Imprisoned

Brightwing twisted his head around, trying to see better. A Dromaeosaurus was striding out of the bushes to speak with his captor. "There's a pack Talon," it said simply. "How many?" Talon replied, one hawk-like eye still on Brightwing. "Too many, Talon. We can't capture them," said the other Dromaeosaurus. "We'll have to inform Das," Talon said. "Fine then, we'll just take this one with us." Talon lifted his foot from Brightwing's abdomen. "Every dead Atrociraptor counts," the Dromaeosaurus leader hissed.

Brightwing instinctively tried to make a run for it, but it was hopeless. As soon as he rolled over two Dromaeosaurus pounced on him and dragged him aside where five others surrounded him. Twice he tried to claw his way out, but he was vastly outnumbered. Craning his neck, he ignored the jeering of the enemy dromaeosaurs and ruffled up his feathers in defiance.

Brightwing heard Talon's voice. "Is the offering ready?" Talon said, speaking to a large group of Dromaeosaurus just behind those that were holding Brightwing prisoner. "Yes, Talon," came the reply. "Can't we just taste a little bit...? We're all starving," another Dromaeosaurus squeaked, obviously not used to speaking to its leader. "No," Talon hissed. "We've been through this before, Omega. We'll eat the leftovers." "And there are never any leftovers..." Brightwing heard Omega mutter. "Even if there are, I always eat the leftovers of the leftovers!"

Talon gave no clue he had heard the complaint. He strode off to check on another unit of Dromaeosaurus. Brightwing scarcely heard what Talon was saying to them, because he just saw something that gave him a great shock. Among the black and white Dromaeosaurus was a dark brown head with big yellow eyes that shone with fury. They were clearly holding another Atrociraptor as prisoner!

Funny Stories

These are NOT meant to be educational, so don't be surprised if you see inaccuracies.

• Tyrannosaurus Rules

Key:

T = Tyrannosaurus

G = Gallimimus

P = Pachycephalosaurus

V = Velociraptor

S = Spinosaurus

GI = Giganotosaurus

L = Liopleurodon

Episode 1: Avian-Mimic Attack

Tyrannosaurus vs a flock of Gallimimus

T: Bring it on!

G1: Oh, yeah? CHARGE!

Referee: Ready, set, fig…

G1: Shut up! *Kicks*

Referee: *Dies*

G2 – G5: Attack! *Kick*

T: *Bites* Yum!

G1: Don’t just stand there, attack!!

G2 – G5: O… *Die*

G6 – G20: CHARGE!! *Kick*

T: *Stomps* Hey, where are they?

L: You squashed them.

T: Hi, Liopleurodon. Do you still have your gun?

L: Yes. *Throws gun*

G21: Peck her, peck her! *Pecks*

T: BANG, BANG! *Shoots*

G21 – 25: *Die*

G1: You birdbrains! ATTACK!

G26 – G35: Kill her! *Kick*

T: *Stomps* Chicken pancakes, tasty!

G26 – G35: *Die*

G36 – G40: ATTACK, ATTACK! You’re dead, Tyrannosaurus, stupid tyrannosaur!

T: At least I’m not a birdbrain!

G1: We’re not birdbrains!

T: Yeah, you’re fifty birdbrains.

L: *Eats* Yum!

G36 – G40: Cool! A cave…. *Die*

T: Hey, leave some for me!

L: Sorry.

G1: Don’t give up! Gallimimus are WAY better than Tyrannosaurus!

G41 – 45: Good point! *Kick*

T: Huh? I don’t feel a thing! *Bites*

G41 – 45: Ohh, sharp teeth… *Die*

G1 & G46 – 50: *Charge*

T: HAHA! Weakies! I don’t feel a thing! *Bites*

G50: Ahhh, I’m dying! *Dies*

G1: We will win!

T: Goodbye, birdbrains! *Shoots*

G1 & G46 – G49: We’re not birdb… *Die*

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, GALLI…

Struthiomimus1 – 50, Pelicanimimus1 – 50 & Ornithomimus1 – 50: *Burst in* We’ve come to avenge our cousins!

T: Oh yeah? BANG! *Shoots*

Struthiomimus1 – 50: How did you get th… *Die*

T: Hey, where are the others?

L: They’re yummy!

T: How do you know?

L: I ate them.

T: Ah well.

TY...

Deinocheirus1 – 50: *Burst in* HAHA! Try to deal with US!

T: Who are you!?

Deinocheirus1 – 50: We are the Deinocheirus! MUHAHA!

T: Grrr! *Charges*

Deinochierus1: HA! *Slashes*

T: *Falls down*

Deinocheirus1: See? I told you she’s weak! In Walking With Dinosaurs, she got beaten by an ANKYLOSAURUS!

Deinocheirus2: Yeah, lousy actress!

L: Oh no...

T: LUOSY ACTRESS!?

L: They called her a lousy actress…

T: NO ONE CALLS ME A LOUSY ACTRESS! Take that! *Bites*

Deinocheirus2: Ahhh! *Dies*

T: BANG~! *Shoots*

Deinocheirus3 – 50: Help! *Try to run away, then die*

Deinocheirus1: Oh yeah? At her! I said, at her!

T: HAHA, Deino-something! Your pack is gone! You-are-weak. *Bites*

Deinocheirus1: No, you can’t kill me, it’s impos… *Dies*

T: ROAR!

L: And don’t forget me!

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, GALLIMIMUS DROOL!

Episode 2: Thick-Headed Terminators

1 Tyrannosaurus vs a herd of Pachycephalosaurus

T: Bring it on!

P1: Oh yeah? CHARGE!

Referee: Ready, set, fig…

P1: Shut up. *Headbutts*

Referee: *Dies*

P2 – 5: Charge! *Headbutt*

T: *Dodges* Hey, what are you aiming at, thickheads?

P2 – 4: Huh? *Smash into wall, die*

P5: *Stops* I’ll get you this time!

T: No way! *Bites*

P5: Oh, you’ve bitten through my thick skull… but that’s impos… *Dies*

P1: Attack! Show her her skull isn’t half as thick as ours!

T: Yeah, but that means you’re stupid!

P6: Oh yeah?

T: Yeah!

P6 – 10: You did it now!

L: Hi there. I wanted to join in the fun. *Eats*

P6 – 10: Huh? *Die*

P1: Keep attacking! We’re winning!

T: You must be blind!

P11: No we’re not! *Charges, smashes into wall, and then dies*

T: See?

P1: Who cares? At least we can see better than any Tyrannosaurus!

T: Really? *Charges*

P1: AHHH! HELP! ATTACK!

P12 – 15: *Charge* OK, carnivore! Let’s settle this once and for all!

T: Sure. *Dodges*

P12: *Smashes into wall* Nothing can get past my thick skull! *Dies*

P13 – 15: OK, she’s in this direction!

L: Here, the gun. *Throws gun*

T: BANG! *Shoots*

P13 – 15: AHHH! *Die*

P1: Everyone, CHARGE!

P16 – 50: OK! *Charge*

T: Wow, I shouldn’t have wasted my time dodging! It doesn’t hurt at all!

P16: How’s this? *Headbutts harder*

T: Save your breath. *Stomps*

P16: Uh… *Dies*

P17 – 50: All of us together equal one meteor and we’ll make you extinct!

T: Oh yeah? *Bites*

P17 – 25: HELP!!! *Die*

T: I’ll make all pachycephalosaurs extinct!

P26: Then we’ll make tyrannosaurs extinct!

T: Bet you can’t even defeat ONE NANOTYRANNUS!

L: Oh shut up, boneheads. *Eats*

P26 – 40: Why did it turn dark in he… *Die*

T: Beware the fastest gun in the Cretaceous! *Shoots*

P41 – 50: Sorry but there’s no such thing in the Creta… *Die*

T: OK, spongehead, you’re all alone.

P1: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

T: I said you’re all alone.

P1: YOU CALLED ME A SPONGHEAD, HUH? *Charges, slams into ceiling, flies into outer space, dies*

T: What a dope.

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, PACHYCEPH…

Prenocephale1 – 50 & Homalocephale1 – 50: *Burst in* We’ve come to avenge our cousins!

T: Oh, sure. Hey where did they go?

L: I ate them.

T: ALL OF THEM!?

L: Sure. All… *Tries to count on his flippers* Uh, er, um…

T: 100 of them.

L: Hey do you know? You only have four fingers!

T: And you have none.

L: Fine.

T: ROAR!

L: And don’t forget me!

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS DROOL!

Episode 3: Sickle-Clawed Snipers

1 Tyrannosaurus vs a pack of Velociraptor

T: Bring it on!

V1: Oh yeah? CHARGE!

Referee: Ready, set, fig…

V1: Shut up. *Slashes*

Referee: *Dies*

V2 – 5: We’ll prove dromaeosaurs are better than Tyrannosaurus! *Slash*

T: HAHA! Don’t feel a thing! *Stomps*

V2 – 5: We’re winning… *Die*

V6 – 10: Jump on her! *Jump*

T: *Bites* Wow, you just jumped on my foot. Why can’t you jump higher?

V6: We can too! *Dies*

V7 – 10: Yeah! *Jump and land inside Tyrannosaurus’s mouth*

T: *Eats* Yum!

V11 – V15: Oh yeah? You can only run 25kmph! Try to match our 40kmph speed!

T: Sure, except you’re not running. *Bites*

V11 – V15: Now we are! *Start running* Glug… *Die*

V16 – 20: ATTACK!!!!! *Slash*

L: Hi there and be quiet! *Eats*

V16 – 20: Hey, who turned off the lights? *Die*

T: Hi, Liopleurodon. Nice of you to drop by.

L: Sure. Need the gun?

T: Yeah.

L: *Throws gun*

V21 – 25: CHARGE! Kill the theropod! *Jump and slash*

T: BANG! Don’t forget, Velociraptor! Dromaeosaurs are theropods too! *Shoots*

V21 – 25: Glub, dromaeosaurs are more civilized… *Die*

T: Yeah right. Still want to fight?

V1: Of course, stupid tyrannosaur! Huh, if the BBC wanted us in Walking With Dinosaurs, I bet we’d act better than some old T. rex!

Barney: *Rushes in out of nowhere* I love you, you love me…

T: Whose side are you on anyway? *Shoots*

Barney: We’re best friends as… *Dies*

V26 – 30: NOW!! *Slash*

T: What are those claws for anyway if they’re not for slicing up enemies? *Bites*

V26: What are those teeth for if they’re not for killing… *Dies*

V1: Don’t worry, we’re getting at her! Just jump, slash and dodge!

V27: Jump, slash and…

T: What use is it if you don’t do it? *Bites*

V27: Jump, slash… *Dies*

V28 – 30: We’ll kill THE tyrannosaur!

T: Yeah. Me or Nanotyrannus? Nanotyrannus huh? Guess I don’t have to worry. *Stomps* Where are they?

L: Under your foot.

T: *Lifts foot and stares at bloody patch* Giggle. Right.

V31 – V40: Let’s take on her all at once! *Slash*

T: Wow, it’s SOOO comfortable! *Closes eyes in satisfaction*

V31 – 35: We’ll take on the throat! *Climb to Tyrannosaurus’s head and fall down, die*

T: Oh come on, you can do better than that?

V36 – 40: Like THIS? *Slash harder*

T: Yeah, but you don’t have to waste your energy. Bang. *Shoots*

V36 – 40: Not fair… *Die*

L: Let me help. *Eats*

V41 – 45: Hey, we haven’t even attacked yet… *Die*

V1: At her! There are still six of us! We can do it!

V46 – 50: Sure, except you never help!

V1: Oh yeah?

V46 – 50: Yeah!

V1: *Advances*

V46 – 50: KILL HIM! *Start slashing*

V1: Uglug, I’m sorry… *Dies*

T: Cool. Killing your own leader. But I’ll still have to kill you. *Shoots*

V46 – 50: *Die*

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, VELOCI…

Utahraptor1 – 50, Dromaeosaurus1 – 50 & Deinonychus1 – 50: *Burst in* We’ve come to avenge our cousins!

T: Huh? *Glances at Utahraptor* Are you real? Or are you just like that Jurassic Park III Spinosaurus?

Utahraptor1: HAHA! We’re real all right and we’re going to beat you up! CHARGE!

Utahraptor2 – 50, Dromaeosaurus1 – 50 & Deinonychus1 – 50: *Charge and start slashing* We’re going to get back at you for making Velociraptor extinct!

T: Beware the fastest gun in the Cretaceous! *Shoots*

Dromaeosaurus1 – 50 & Deinonychus1 – 50: There aren’t any guns in the… *Die*

Utahraptor1: You can’t defeat US though, Rexy!

T: It’s REGINA, not REX!

Utahraptor1: Oh whatever it means the same thing anyway…

T: IT MEANS THE SAME THING!?

L: Oh no…

T: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!?

L: Yup, that’s worse than calling her a lousy actress…

T: ROARRRRR! *Charges and bites*

Utahraptor2 – 50: AHHH! Help! *Die*

Utahraptor1: Er, retreat! No, counterattack! Defend! Slash! Just save yourselves! *Runs away*

T: Now your turn…

Utahraptor1: Gulp. Please spare me, I’m the only dromaeosaur left….

T: I’ll make your death nice and simple… *Bites*

Utahraptor1: Please~! *Dies*

T: ROAR!

L: And don’t forget me!

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, VELOCIRAPTOR DROOL!

Episode 4: Snapping Sailbacks

1 Tyrannosaurus vs a pack of Spinosaurus

T: Bring it on!

S1: Oh yeah? CHARGE!

Referee: Ready, set, fig…

S1: Shut up. *Slashes*

Referee: *Dies*

L: Hi everyone. *Eats*

S2 – 5: Nooo! We haven’t attacked yet! *Die*

T: Do you still have the gun?

L: Sorry, it disappeared…

T: ARRGH!

S1: Who cares if you’ve got a giant crocodile? Attack!

S6 – 10: Right! *Bite*

T: OK, spinosaurs, let’s see if Jurassic Park’s real or fiction! *Bites*

S6: Real… *Dies*

Spinosaurus Fans: REAL, REAL, REAL!

T: Won’t you shut up? *Eats*

Spinosaurus Fans: You can do it, Spino… *Die*

S7 – 10: Here’s our chance! *Charge*

T: Oh yeah? *Dodges*

S7 – 10: We’ve got her now… *Slam into wall, die*

L: *Applauds with flippers*

T: Thank you.

S11 – 15: Don’t worry, we’ve got her! *Slash*

T: Really? *Charges*

S11 – 15: *Fall down*

T: Wow, they look big but they’re really light!

S11 – 15: Oh yeah? We’re heavier than a tyrannosaur you know!

T: Sure, heavier than Nanotyrannus. *Stomps*

S11 – 15: Glug... *Die*

S20 – 35: HAHA! See if you can handle THIS many! *Bite, slash and charge*

T: Oh yeah? I could handle a zillion of you fish eaters!

S1: Fish eaters!? That’s the worst insult I’ve ever heard! ATTACK!

S20 – 35: OK! *Slash* See those tiny arms? Useless!

T: How about your sails? Useless! *Bites*

S20: They help us warm up you know! *Dies*

T: Well, how come I can warm up without the help of flimsy sails?

L: She has a point.

S21 – 35: We disagree with that point! *Charge*

L: If you do, then… *Eats*

S21 – 30: HAHAHAHAHAHA! We’re bigger than a Tyrannosaurus… *Die*

T: Idiots. They can only eat fish anyways.

S31 – 35: At least our breath doesn’t stink of meat! *Charge*

T: At least MY breath doesn’t stink of fish! *Bites*

S31: At least… *Dies*

Fuzzy: Hi mom! Liopleurodon said I could borrow his gun! *Shoots*

S32 – 35: Wow, a chicken… *Die*

T: You did!?

L: No…

S36 – 40: Get the chicken with the weird stick! *Charge*

T: In case you don’t know, it’s called a gun, not a stick.

Fuzzy: And I’m not a chicken, I’m a T. rex! And that’s the best dinosaur in the world, WHOOHOO! *Shoots*

S36 – 40: Ahhh… *Die*

L: You know, he’s a pretty good shot.

T: What do you mean by THAT!? It’s too dangerous for him!

Fuzzy: The fastest gun in the Cretaceous! *Shoots*

S41 – 45: HELP! The chicken is attacking! *Die*

L: I’d say, he’s doing pretty well.

S1: You fools! Don’t get beat up by a CHICKEN! Get the Tyrannosaurus!

T: Get the Spinosaurus, I say.

S1: Why you…

S46 – 50: GO SPINOSAURUS! *Bite*

T: Oops, you missed…

S46 – 50: *Crash into floor, die*

T: See? You should have used those claws instead of your flimsy jaws.

S1: If they won’t, I will! *Slashes*

T: Sorry, that was a trick. *Bites*

S1: ARRGH! You bit off my arm!

T: Now I’m going to bite off your head. *Bites*

S1: Glug… *Dies*

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, SPINOS…

Suchomimus1 – 50 & Baryonyx1 – 50: *Burst in* We’ve come to avenge our cousins!

L: Not again.

Fuzzy: Meet the fastest gun in the Cretaceous! *Shoots*

Baryonyx1 – 50: Where did the chicken come fr… *Die*

T: And who are you? *Stares at Suchomimus*

Suchomimus1: We are Suchomimus! We come from the Sahara!

T: Get these things away. They stink of fish!

L: Here. *Eats*

Suchomimus2 – 25: Oh, a giant fish. Looks tasty. *Die*

T: Don’t you guys do ANYTHING!? *bites*

Suchomimus26 – 50: Sure we do. We fish and fish and fish… *Die*

Fuzzy: They’re mental.

Suchomimus1: And fish and fish and fish… Hey, where did everyone go? Keep chanting!

L: I’m afraid they’re extinct.

T: Well, almost. *Bites*

Suchomimus1: Hello? Where are you? *Die*

T: Dope

Fuzzy: Yup, I was right. He’s mental.

T: ROAR!

L: And don’t forget me!

Fuzzy: Or me!

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, SPINOSAURUS DROOL!

Episode 5: Huge Heavyweights

1 Tyrannosaurus vs a pack of Giganotosaurus

T: Bring it on!

GI1: Oh yeah? CHARGE!

Referee: Ready, set, fig…

GI1: Shut up! *Bites*

Referee: *Dies*

T: Don’t tell me Fuzzy stole your gun again, Liopleurodon.

L: Not this time.

Fuzzy: Really? *Waves gun*

T: Sigh…

GI1: Here’s our chance!

L: Wrong! *Eats*

GI2 – 10: It’s nighttime! *Die*

GI1: Don’t back down! We’re bigger than Tyrannosaurus and we know it!

GI11 – 20: Yes… we… are… bigger… and… better… than… Tyrannosaurus…

T: All brawn and no brain. *Bites*

GI11 – 20: Yes… we… *Die*

T: I can’t believe how easy this is!

L: As easy as plucking an Eustreptospondylus off a rock!

Fuzzy: *Stares*

L: Whatever.

GI1: Attack! Bite! Just kill her!

T: How about you? Or are you just hiding behind your army so you won’t die?

Fuzzy: Army or no army, I’m coming! *Shoots*

GI21 – 30: We hate loud noises! *Die*

T: This is easy.

L: Yeah. *Yawns* Too easy.

Fuzzy: Bam boom!!!! *Shoots*

GI31 – 40: We like chicken… *Die*

L: At this rate there won’t be anything left for me to eat.

GI1: Stop moaning, blockheads! Attack!

GI41 – 50: *Charge*

L: Now THIS is a real battle!

Fuzzy: Bam! *Shoots* The fastest gun in the Cretaceous!

GI41: *Dies*

T: *Bites* I can’t believe it! Their skin is as soft as butter!

GI42 – 45: What’s butter? *Die*

L: *Eats* They taste like butter too.

GI46 – 50: *Die*

GI1: Hey, come back everyone!

T: They can’t come back, dope.

GI1: Oh yeah? You dope!

T: *Bites*

GI1: You… *Dies*

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, GIGANOT…

Allosaurus1 – 50: *Burst in* We’ve come to avenge our cousins!

T: Huh, weakies.

Allosaurus1: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

T: I said weakies, what?

Allosaurus2 – 50: *Bump into Allosaurus1*

Allosaurus1 – 50: *Fall down, die*

T: They just… killed themselves…

L: Clumsy.

Fuzzy: No fun. Mom, can we go fight Gallimimus next time? At least they TRY.

T: ROAR!

L: And don’t forget me!

Fuzzy: Or me!

TYRANNOSAURUS RULE, GIGANOTOSAURUS DROOL!

Episode 6: The Final Fight

1 Tyrannosaurus vs a flock of Gallimimus, a herd of Pachycephalosaurus and a pack of Velociraptor, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus

T: Oh no, they got Fuzzy!

L: Who?

T: The Gallimimus, Pachycephalosaurus, Velociraptor, Spinosaurus and Giganotosaurus!

L: I thought we made all ornithomimids, pachycephalosaurs, dromaeosaurs, spinosaurs and allosaurs extinct!

T: Well… evidentially we haven’t. Let’s go!

L: Sure. As long as I get something to eat!

T: Ah, here’s the cave.

G1: Surprised?

T: I thought I made you all extinct!

G1: Well, you didn’t. Like that? And now we are going to make you extinct!

T: Don’t be silly.

G1, P1, V1, S1 & GI1: Oh yeah? CHARGE!

G2 – 10: But she’s a T. rex for goodness sake!

G1: So?

G2 – 10: We can’t beat a T. rex.

G1: Yes you can!

L: You know what, I agree with Gallimimus 2.

G1: Who are you?

L: I’m just dropping by for lunch. *Eats*

G2 – 10: We told you so! *Die*

G1: Hey, Giganotosaurus 1! You didn’t tell me there was a Liopleurodon!

GI1: Shut up, chicken mimic! *Eats*

G1: *Dies*

G11 – 50: Ahhh, Gallimimus 1 is dead! *Panic, fall into water, die*

T: That was easy. Now “claw” over Fuzzy, or you’re dead!

P1: Hey, you’re the only one that’s going to be dead, Tyrannosaurus!

P2: Attack!

P1: I give the orders, not you!

P2: Sorry!

V1: Attack!

V2 – 50: *Slash*

P2: *Die*

P1: You Velociraptor! Can’t you tell a Pachycephalosaurus from a Tyrannosaurus?

V1: It wasn’t our fault!

P1: Oh yeah?

T: Gee, this is getting easier by the millisecond!

L: Now there won’t be anything for me to eat! *Stomach rumbles*

P3 – 50: *Charge*

V1 – 50: *Slam into wall, die*

P1: If we can beat them, then we can beat a Tyrannosaurus, charge!

P3 – 50: But…

P1: No buts, only headbutts!

S1: I’LL show you herbivores how it’s done! *Eats*

P1 – P50: *Die*

GI1: Hey!

S1: Sorry, I was hungry.

GI1: You just depleted our troops!

S1: I did?

GI1: Yeah!

T: We’d better duck, don’t you think?

L: Right.

GI1: *Charges*

S1: *Charges*

GI1 – 50: *Die*

S1 – 50: *Die*

T: That was fast. Now let’s get Fuzzy.

Robosaurus: *Rushes out* Not so fast!

T: Who are you?

Robosaurus: I’m a Robosaurus! I have the speed of a Gallimimus, the head of a Pachycephalosaurus, the hind claws of a Velociraptor, the front claws of a Spinosaurus and the teeth of a Giganotosaurus!

T: Not to mention their argumentative nature…

Robosaurus: I don’t have an argumentative nature.

T: Yes you do!

Robosaurus: No I don’t!

T: You do!

Robosaurus: Don’t!

Fuzzy: Fuzzy to the rescue! *Shoots*

Robosaurus: *Explodes*

L: *Tries to eat remains of Robosaurus* Hmm, this guy doesn’t taste very good.

Fuzzy: Who are we going to fight next?

L: Nobody! Let’s go eat some Ophthalmosaurus!

THE END