User:Fuchs190/Ammonium/Jamison7 Peer Review
 | Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
ContentGuiding questions:
Tone and BalanceGuiding questions:
Sources and ReferencesGuiding questions:
OrganizationGuiding questions:
Images and MediaGuiding questions: If your peer added images or media
For New Articles OnlyIf the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.
Overall impressionsGuiding questions:
Examples of good feedbackA good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.
Additional ResourcesCheck out the Editing Wikipedia PDF for general editing tips and suggestions. |
General info[edit]
- Whose work are you reviewing?
Xian Sun, Fuchs190
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:Fuchs190/Ammonium - Wikipedia
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
- Ammonium - Wikipedia
Evaluate the drafted changes[edit]
Lead[edit]
The lead section contains an additional sentence which indicates that the article will include content describing ammonium's role in the nitrogen cycle. This is an appropriate addition; however, the article could benefit from an additional sentence signifying that ammonium's role in human activities will also be a component of the Ammonium article.
Content[edit]
There are several new paragraphs that will be added to the "Biology" section of the Ammonium article that describe the biogeochemical significance of ammonium. This content is surprisingly lacking in the live article, so the additions here are appropriate. The new "Human impact" section also adds relevant information that is missing in the current live article, but the claims made are vague, such as "Ammonium deposition from the atmosphere has increased in recent years" and " increasing nitrogen content has been shown to increase plant growth." The section of the article could benefit from a more quantitative discussion of how human ammonia deposition has impacted certain aspects of the environment.
Tone and Balance[edit]
The article has a neutral, scientific tone and adds perspectives not currently present in the live article, such as how ammonium is implicated in humanity's impact on the environment. This is appropriate for the topic under consideration.
Sources and References[edit]
The proposed article additions include information mainly obtained from primary literature. These papers have been published in a wide range of peer-reviewed academic journals, and the few links that were tested appeared to work. The literature citations are relevant to the content that was added to the article.
One area for improvement is the use of links to other Wikipedia articles such as this one. This is important when utilizing key terms to provide additional context and information in the case that the reader is unfamiliar with a term or wants to learn more about a particular topic.
Organization[edit]
The content is mostly clear and easy to read; however, I would recommend making some lines, such as "Because net primary production is often limited by nitrogen due to its use in enzymes that mediate the biochemical reactions that are necessary for life, ammonium is utilized by some microbes and plants" clearer and more concise by either splitting the sentence into multiple sentences or by using the active voice instead of the passive voice.
Example: Because net primary production is often limited by nitrogen.. -> Because nitrogen often limits primary production...
The first line in the second paragraph of the "Biology" section uses the term "availability" redundantly.
The names of microbial genera are not italicized.
Images and Media[edit]
No images or media has been incorporated into the current article draft. The "Biology" section could benefit from a nitrogen cycle graphic to illustrate the discussion of the nitrogen cycle while the "Human impact" section could benefit from an image of how ammonium release into the environment affects ecosystems (e.g. an example of eutrophication in water bodies).
Overall impressions[edit]
The authors will make some important improvements to the "Ammonium" Wikipedia article by addressing information gaps currently in the live article. The contributions look promising, but there are several areas for improvement that I highlighted above. I would encourage the authors to keeps these in mind when reviewing their article contributions before posting them to the live article page. Keep up the good work!