User:Hannahpierdolla

Comprehensive Assessment of My Articles

Lily Ann Granderson

This article is meant to inform people about the life of Lily Ann Granderson, a black woman born a slave who became a pioneer in education. The average person would most likely not know much about her, as she is not a household name like Rosa Parks or Harriet Tubman. The article needs to establish who she is quickly, as well as address what her notable contributions to the world were. Most of the past edits to this article were purely grammatical in nature, and though it still needs work in that area, the article does need heavy rewrites and reorganization. I will focus on that, and hopefully I will be able to give other editors a baseline. This is an article that is being actively worked on by other editors (yesterday someone revised a section), and so I will be respectful and understanding of the community I will be working with.

I will work on the overall tone, diction, and syntax of this article. Right now, the tone is relatively informal and casual, and there is not much variety in sentence lengths - the rhythm is off. Additionally, there are many grammar errors throughout. This, coupled with the childlike, storytelling nature of the writing makes for a seemingly untrustworthy article. This will require some rewriting, but this article is not that lengthy in general. I will also work on the organization of the article, as right now, it is only split into two sections: content and references. I will try to break up the article to resemble better-structured articles like it. Finally, if I have time, I will attempt to do some research to make the article more credible/diversify it’s sources, or at least match the references to in-text citations

Attribution Bias

This article is written for definitional purposes; people are searching for “attribution bias” to find out what it means and to find examples of this concept. People of all knowledge levels will be accessing this page, as though attribution bias is rooted in psychology, it is used often enough in daily life that it will not just be scholars searching up the term. This means that the page needs to provide a basic level of information on key terms that relate to the attribution bias (for example, what is an attribution?). Right now, the article does not accomplish this goal. The page has an abundance of credible sources and information to work with. However, it is not organized in a sensible or clear way, and much of the information is presented vaguely or with a biased tone. These issues do not adequately serve the article's purpose, as the layout and writing style serve to further confuse users searching for clarity on a relatively simple psychological term. The editing history of the article does reflect a need for less vagueness and a more objective tone. I think that the past editors have neglected to recognize the need for re-organization, as much of the sections/subsections seem random and scattered.

As an editor, I will, of course, copyedit, but I want to focus on three main goals. The first is to make the tone of the article less argumentative and biased and more objective and formal. This will require a lot of rewording/rewriting on my part, but as the article is not exceptionally long (and there are some areas of objectivity), this will not be too strenuous. I will also focus on making the content more readable and understandable. Because the article has many credible sources, I can simply access those sources to find out more about what the original editor/author was attempting to say and clarify it (ex. At one point, the article explains the results of a study as finding that participants “ascribed more causal influence to the person they were looking at;” as this did not make much sense, I investigated the source material. I discovered that that was not at all what the study found). Finally, I will reorganize the information and headings to make the flow of information more intuitive.