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"Joshua Reynolds, Diana (Sackville), Viscountess Crosbie, 1777" by amyfry2000 is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

The Ideal Women in Early Modern England

The early modern period began about c. 1500 and ended about c. 1800. People in the Early Modern Era had a strong ideal for women's behavior, dress, and thought. These expectations varied by social class (elite, middle, and poor) and by a woman's stage in life (virgin or pre-marriage, married, and widows). Men and women in the early modern period were born into a complex society that consisted of many social expectations that dominated everyday life. Both genders tended to follow the social norms and found a certain amount of pride in being seen as socially competent.

The Ideal Early Modern Woman

The ideal woman in the early modern period was expected to prioritize service to God in their life, followed by service to their country, and lastly to prioritize development of acceptable social characteristics in themselves.

Serve God. A great deal was written to describe how women were expected to serve God. They were taught to pray frequently to God, always remember His mercy and love for them. Women were encouraged to constantly find ways to serve God.

Serve Country. There isn't a lot of commentary on a woman's role to serve their country. The main duty mentioned focuses women on remembering their duty to support their monarchs.

Serve themselves. To serve oneself meant to care for basic needs, but it also implied a growth of character as the ideal woman. This character encouraged meekness and humility. “Humility is a great ornament to [the female] sex” and “Meekness is recommended particularly to women as a peculiar accomplishment of the sex.” This expectation for woman to be meek and humble affected every part of their lives. They were expected to always maintain a calm face and never flaunt their accomplishments in order to receive praise. They were expected to “be willing to learn and observe rather that to dictate and prescribe” and always be obedient to men. The main goal of an ideal woman was to be sufficiently humble and meek and thereby be modest in all their interactions.

It is important to note that while these ideals are very different from modern day, they reflect the culture and the mindset of the majority of women during their time. An English social reformer, Caroline Norton, said; “As for me (and there are millions of us) I believe in the superiority of the man as I do in the existence of a God. The Natural position of a woman is inferiority to a man, that is a thing of God’s appointing, not of man’s devising.”  

Ideal Woman based on Marital Status

Virgins

Young unmarried women were expected to be the very symbol of chastity and virtue. “A good woman spoke little. Excessive speech was an indication of unchastity. By speech, women seduced men.  Eve had lured Adam into sin by her speech.  Witches were commonly accused of having spoken abusively, or irrationally, or simply too much.” To be seen and not heard was the normal social expectation for women, and this was true in all cases except when entertaining guests. When young women were at social gatherings, they needed to walk a fine line. They needed to make sure their eye position, body language, speech, and mannerisms were polite without being an invitation to a young man. They were often warned of how a “careless glance gives more advantage than a hundred words not enough considered; the language of the eyes being very much the most significant, and the most observed.” They were encouraged to divert themselves (seek entertainment) but were cautioned not to participate in too many games so they would not be referred to as a “gamester.”  Young woman had to master walking this fine line or risk ruining their reputation, which could end their opportunity to enter into marriage. They were schooled in chaste actions and mannerisms, but also in chaste thoughts. They believed that unchaste thoughts would defile the body.

Young women were not only schooled in correct mannerisms while entertaining company, but they were also expected to develop other attributes. They were expected to be religious, as religion was a sign of chastity. They would show their devotion by prayers and thankfulness. Additionally, being courteous, compassionate, obedient, and meek were very important attributes for women to display. While they were taught to develop these attributes, virgins of all classes were also taught how to do domestic skills that they would later use in their own households. Many woman would were expected to help their future husband in their businesses. For this reason, women were also schooled in accounting and arithmancy.

Elite Woman

Young women in the elite class were expected to dress in a way that reflected their father’s social status. In fact, if a woman did not dress according to her father’s social status, she was considered very improper and was seen as failing in her duties as a daughter. The elite were considered to be very beautiful and their dress was expected to enhance their beauty. When young women dressed too extravagantly, it was considered by some, especially the priests, to be unchaste. The priests lamented that an elite woman would not fear death because it would mean that they would be dressed in finery for all to see before they were buried. Women dressing extravagantly was a response to the culture of the day. Elite women were “assigned the task of pleasing men as their primary occupation [so they] often tended toward elaborate costume, hairdressing, and the use of cosmetics.” Elite woman that could dress well were often treated purely as decorations for the men to behold.

Elite women were fortunate in that most were educated, and could read and write. This was expected because it would help them run their households or help their future husband’s business.Reading and writing prepared young women to be sent to court as ladies in waiting, as was a common practice of the time. There they would further refine themselves and more importantly, be visible as potential wives.  When they got married, they would move to their husband’s house. Elite married women were unique from the other classes in the sense that they didn’t have to create a household after they were wed.

Middle Class

Middle class women, unlike those in the elite class, tended to wait to marry until they were in their mid to late 20s. This gave them the ability to work and save money that would allow them to create a household. They still had access to finer garments but were more criticized than the upper-class for their fashion because their fathers were not in the high social classes and therefore their dress was seen as too extravagant.

Poor Class

Most people in the poor class of early modern England were illiterate. They weren't expected to read because many worked on farms or on other jobs that did not require reading and writing skills. Some young woman had access to dame schools or charity classes, but these were less common. One occupation that many poor young women did was to go into service for the elite. These young women typically began working as servants around ten to eleven years old.  Their clothing was usually practical and not extravagant like the other classes. Similar to girls of the middle class, they would wait to marry in order to earn some money to prepare for marriage.

Women in the poor class also had a slightly different standard for modesty and chastity before marriage. Privacy typically was not an option in their homes. “As daughters moved from childhood into youth, protecting their virginity and honor became a more pressing task for families. This responsibility was more challenging because, licitly or illicitly, non-elite young women were not wholly cut off from sex. Courtship, including in some corners of Europe premarital cuddling and even intercourse, brought together young men and women with sexual prospects.”

"John Singleton Copley - The Copley Family [1776-77]" by Gandalf's Gallery is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Married Women

“Marriage was considered to be the most important endeavor in a woman’s life.”

Society expected husbands to would love their wives and be kind to them. Wives were expected to always remember that their husbands were to be treated as superior to themselves. The ideal marriage was a union based on romantic love between the couple. “The beams of her husband’s love, faith, and loyalty, shine onely upon her…you shall see her consumed…away in burning flames of love, and cast all her care in thinking and doing that which she knoweth will please him.”  

The ideal wife was happy and quiet as she took care of her husband’s desires.  The duty of a wife was “first, to his person. Secondly, to his reputation. Thirdly, to his fortune.” Married women were also expected to not talk with very many men and instead be solitary and withdrawn from groups. The ideal woman boasted of silence. The husbands would complement their wives in their duties. Whereas the wife was expected to stay at home, the husband would be traveling or doing business to earn money. He would work with many men in business and was expected to be skilled in speech and word choice. 

Woman were also expected to be good mothers. They needed to watch over their children and raise them to be obedient and God fearing. Mothers were cautioned against being too kind to their children because that could make them less obedient, but to continue to be tender and patient.   

Elite Class 

Marriage for elite women were sometimes planed from their childhood. Their union often occurred when women were still younger than the average marrying age. This was usual because a marriage between an elite man and an elite woman was primarily for political and social alliances. Once such a union took place, a woman was expected to produce heirs. This was important because it strengthened the family name and made sure the estates would remain connected to the family.

Middle Class and Poor Class

Husbands and wives in the middle class were more interdependent. They worked together to sustain their household and often waited until they were older to get married. After they were married, women were expected to help raise enough money to support the household and tend to all the needs of their husband and children. Their days began early and ended late.

Widows

Widows had three main roles after their husbands died. The first role was to make sure their husband’s body was buried honorably and according to his status. The second expectation for widows was to cherish their husband’s memory, allow that memory to guide the way they lived. Their third role was to take care of their children. This could include making sure their children were educated and making sure they received their share of the inheritance.

Widows had different expectations from the ideal woman in the area of home leadership. “A fundamental idea of early modern social theory was that all women were to be under the headship and control of men, living in obedience within a family unite. [However,] long-standing tradition supported the notion that the widow should if at all possible be encouraged to head her own household, either as a successor to her husband or in a new home.”

Widowhood respected a dramatic change in status and expectations from what women were trained to be before the death of their husband. They were to suddenly expected to take charge of a home and take on many responsibilities that they were mainly reserved for men. “All early modern widows lived with these deleterious expectations. They encountered them first at a time of great stress when, coping with the emotional and financial shocks of losing a partner, they most needed to be courageous and secure. Painfully trained to live under obedience, suddenly they had to unlearn that difficult lesson, and instead take control.”