User:Jameswright2004

Jameswright2004 a.k.a James, Wrighty, Jdub, James W, J Wright, JW2K4, Jimmy, Jim-bob and Oi you.

Jameswright 2004 has had an eventful lifetime during his short time on the planet. Born in 1980, he was born to Mrs Teresa Green and Ivor Biggen, out of wedlock. Unable to be fed and watered by the part-time Skunk hunters from West-Virginia, he was shipped off in a UPS parcel to Brazil. However on that fateful night the UPS plane was gunned down by drug addled gun-runners over the Brazilian rain forest. Somehow James survived the crash, and unable to fend for himself was adopted by a family of Honey Bears, who raised him as their own. Although he loved living with the honey bears as he approached the age of ten he decided that he needed to be with his own species. James spoke to papa bear and together they agreed that he should leave the sanctuary of the bear den and re-enter the world of humans. The elders of the bear clan were called and they were set the task of choosing the country that James should travel to. Sadly, honey bears are not very up to date with current affairs and the elders' decision was based on some books that a scout bear had found in a downed cesna some twenty years previously. So armed with some honey, a tatty copy of the Communist Manifesto and 7" record of The Internationale James set off for the USSR. The day his journey began was 9 November 1989, which unbeknown to the elders or James was the day that the Berlin Wall became just a wall and communism in Europe began to crumble. But ultimately it would make little difference to James as it would be several years and many wonderful adventures before he arrived in the former Soviet Union.

While travelling on an old steamship bound for Lisbon James fell in love with a game that the crew refered to as "soccer". Despite the fact that the 22 crewmen were all from different nations they supported either Arsenal or Chelsea. James was gravitating towards being a Chelsea fan when he bumped into a drunken Steve Archibald who was returning to Europe after staging a failed coup d'etat in Surinam. Archibald regaled James with beautiful tales of glory days at White Hart Lane, the world famous home of Tottenham Hotspur, and remarked that Spurs fans were the greatest in the entire cosmos. James was transfixed and decided to become a Spurs fan little realising that Archibald had over-stated the facts ever so slightly and James had committed himself to a life of almost perpetual disappointment.

It was in the January of 1990 when a bedraggled James arrived in Paris as a young (genius) student of the arts in the Sorbonne. He was introduced to the likes of Degas, Lautrec, and Dali - the latter being alive at the time. Dali was on a tour of the city to promote more of his surrealistic works to the masses. James fell in love with Swans Reflecting Elephants and Narcisus and as a result, secreted himself inside the Louvre Gallery overnight, deciding to steal the work for himself. His plan was to find his way through the air conditioning unit conduits into the main hall and to grab as much as he could while he could but his plan was foiled when an empty crisp packet, the contents of which he had consumed earlier that night whilst waiting, fell from his short-trouser pocket onto the alarmed floor alerting the guards to his presence. James was held for several days in a dingy police cell before being released on a bounty of Gruyerre cheese and a french loaf. Suffice to say, James skipped bail and the Sûreté Nationale are still looking for him with the aide of Interpol and the local Gendarmerie.