User:Logan167/Mixed reality game/Serena1205 Peer Review

Peer review

Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects:

Lead

Guiding questions:

Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?

Content

Guiding questions:

Is the content added relevant to the topic?
Is the content added up-to-date?
Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?

Tone and Balance

Guiding questions:

Is the content added neutral?
Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References

Guiding questions:

Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.)
Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
Are the sources current?
Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
Check a few links. Do they work?

Organization

Guiding questions:

Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Images and Media

Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media

Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
Are images well-captioned?
Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only

If the draft you're reviewing is for a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.

Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions

Guiding questions:

Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
What are the strengths of the content added?
How can the content added be improved?

Examples of good feedback

A good article evaluation can take a number of forms. The most essential things are to clearly identify the biggest shortcomings, and provide specific guidance on how the article can be improved.

Peer review of "Homemaking"
Peer review of this article about a famous painting

Additional Resources

Check out the Editing Wikipedia PDF for general editing tips and suggestions.

General info

Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Logan167

Link to draft you're reviewing: Mixed reality game
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): Mixed reality game

Evaluate the drafted changes

I’ve made a small edit to the lead section of your article on Mixed Reality Games. Your initial improvements to the lead were solid, and I aimed to further enhance the clarity, flow, and structure while maintaining your original intent.

In my revised version, I adjusted the phrasing to make the lead more concise and accessible to readers. Specifically, I restructured sentences to smoothly introduce the key applications of mixed reality games in entertainment and healthcare, with examples like Pokémon GO and Harry Potter: Wizards Unite. These changes provide a clearer picture of what the article covers. I also made a minor edit to the tone to ensure it aligns with Wikipedia’s neutrality standards. The original phrasing in the "Applications in Healthcare" section ("immersive technologies will bring large changes...") was slightly promotional.

Below, I’ve provided a detailed evaluation with suggestions for further improvement. You might want to add a section on the history and origins of mixed reality games to give readers context on when and how this concept emerged. Additionally, consider expanding on ethical challenges such as privacy, mental well-being, or addiction risks to provide a more balanced perspective.

Overall, you've done a fantastic job with your edits so far! My minor adjustments were meant to complement your hard work and make the lead even more effective. Great work—keep it up!

Detailed Evaluation:

Content Review

Gaps Identified:

History/Origins Missing: The article could benefit from a brief section on the origins of mixed reality games. When was the concept first introduced? What technological advancements led to its development?
Ethics and Challenges: There is only a passing mention of ethics. A section discussing privacy concerns, health risks, or player addiction would provide a more complete picture.
Suggested Addition: Include a subheading: Challenges and Ethical Considerations.

"Mixed reality games, while immersive, raise ethical and practical concerns, including issues related to privacy, data security, and mental well-being. Researchers suggest that continuous interaction between the virtual and physical world could blur boundaries, posing challenges for younger audiences and those with pre-existing mental health conditions."

Organization

Issue Identified:

The examples section feels disorganized and could be better grouped by genre or application (e.g., Fitness Games, Location-Based Games).

Suggestion:

Add subcategories within the "Examples of Mixed Reality Games" section. Example:

Location-Based Games: Pokémon GO, Ingress
Hybrid Tabletop Games: Mario Kart Live

Images and Media

Consider adding images or diagrams illustrating key concepts like the differences between VR, AR, and MR, or an in-game screenshot from Harry Potter: Wizards Unite (ensuring copyright compliance).