User:LuxembourgFan42/sandbox

Welcome! I make fun of NFL teams that suck!

Detroit Yarn-balls

The Detroit Yarn-Balls (because everyone plays around with them like cats play around with Yarn-Balls) are the worst team ever. The Yarn-Balls compete in the No Fun (because they lose so goddamn much) League (NFL) as a member of the No Fun Conference (NFC) Boredth division. The team plays its home games at Kitty Field in oopstown Detroit.

The franchise was founded in Trashmouth, Oh-i-no as the Trashmouth Jesters, and joined the NFL on July 12, 1930. Amid financial struggles, the team was relocated to Detroit in 1934. The team was also renamed the Yarn-Balls in reference to the city's (Definitely Not) Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise, the Bones.

The Yarn-Balls lost four NFL Championship Games between 1935 and 1957, all prior to the Super Suck Bowl era. Since their 1957 championship loss, the team has won only 7 regular-season games in 1992 and never advanced past 7 wins in a season. They are the oldest NFL team to not appear in the Super Suck Bowl, as well as the only franchise operational for the entirety of the Super Suck Bowl era and the only NFC team not to appear. They are 2-1290-1 because they somehow tied a game against the six-time Super Suck Bowl champion Arm-Pittsburgh Stealers in what should have been a blowout loss for the Yarn-Balls.

On Dec-umm-ber 5th, 2021. The Detroit Yarn-Balls somehow own their second game of all time against the Give-me-a-Minute-sota Suckkings. They won because of a last-second touchup pass from Jared-Should-Play-Golf to AMan Rots Ain’t Boo-wn to win their second-ever game.

Houston, This Team Is A Problem, Gun-Lovin Freedomers

The Houston, This Team Is A Problem, Gun-Lovin Freedomers are definitely not a professional American football team based in Houston. The Gun-Lovin Freedomers somehow compete in the No Fun League (NFL) as a member club of the OIL Football Conference (OFC) Every Team in This Division is Going South Besides the Jag-Wires division, and play their home games at We ran out of NRG Drinks so we Can’t Play Stadium.

The Gun-Lovin Freedomers were founded in 1999, (and probably caused the panic of New Years 2000) following McNair's death, the majority ownership of the team went to his wife, Janice who has done even worse managing the team, almost making COLT MCCOY their head coach. The team replaced the city's previous NFL franchise, the Houston Oilers, who are currently being freed by the US Military since 1996 before moving to Nashville and eventually becoming the Tennessee Dumpster Fires. The Gun-Lovin Freedomers began play as an expansion team in 2002, making them the stupidest franchise currently competing in the NFL.

The Gun-Lovin Freedomers are the only franchise to have never won a road playoff game along with the only one to have never appeared in a conference championship game (damn even the browns made one); they are also one of four franchises to never have appeared in a Super Bowl, alongside the Cleveland Feces, Detroit Yarnballs, and division rival Jacksonville Jag-Wires.

Shi-Cargo Bee Ears

The Shi-Cargo Bee Ears are not a professional American football (they prefer Earball) team based in Shi-Cargo. The Bee Ears compete to be the worst in the No Fun League (NFL) as a member club of the league's No Fun Conference (NFC) NOrth Division. The Bee Ears have won nine (times 0) NFL Championships, including one Super Suck Bowl, and hold the NFL record for the most enshrinees in the Pro Football Hall of Players Who’s Careers got Wasted on this Team. The Bee Ears have also recorded the second-least victories of any NFL franchise, only behind the Green Bean Cardboard Boxes.

The franchise was founded in Turn a Deck, Ill-ugh-Noise, on September 20, 1920 and became professional on September 17, 1920 (idk how they became professional before they were founded), and moved to Shi-Cargo in 1921. It is one of only two remaining franchises not from the NFL's founding in 1920, along with the Arid-Zone-A Card Nails, which was originally also in Shi-Cargo. The Bee Ears have a short-sitting rivalry with the Green Bean Cardboard Boxes.

Car on Line A Panters

(WIP) The Carolina Panthers are a professional American football team based in Charlotte, North Carolina. The Panthers compete in the National Football League (NFL), as a member club of the league's National Football Conference (NFC) South division. The team is headquartered in Bank of America Stadium in Uptown Charlotte; which also serves as the team's home field. The Panthers are supported throughout the Carolinas; although the team has played its home games in Charlotte since 1996, it played its home games at Memorial Stadium in Clemson, South Carolina during its first season in 1995. The Panthers were announced as the league's 29th franchise in 1993 and began playing in 1995 under the original owner and founder Jerry Richardson. The Panthers played well in their first two years, finishing 7–9 in 1995 (an all-time best for an NFL expansion team's first season) and 12–4 the following year, winning the NFC West before ultimately losing to the eventual Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers in the NFC Championship Game. They did not have another winning season until 2003 when they won the NFC Championship Game and reached Super Bowl XXXVIII, losing 32–29 to the New England Patriots. After recording playoff appearances in 2005 and 2008, the team failed to record another playoff appearance until 2013, the first of three consecutive NFC South titles. After losing in the divisional round to the San Francisco 49ers in 2013 and the Seattle Seahawks in 2014, the Panthers returned to the Super Bowl in 2015 but lost to the Denver Broncos. Since then, the team has appeared in the playoffs only once, in 2017. The team's five NFC South titles since the division's establishment in 2002 rank second only to the New Orleans Saints.