User:Macylynn27/Women in music education/De.small1 Peer Review

Peer review

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General info

• Whose work are you reviewing? Macylynn27
• Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Macylynn27/Women in music education

I see that you only have contributions and not any other ways that you wll modify the originial article. As a reviewer, it's unclear to me where your new sections will go and how the overall structure of the article is changing (if it is). The orginal article has essentailly just one very large lead section and then a list of names. How are you modifying that? I think that the new section for social media impact is interesting and makes the page feel relevant. I think that helps the new content feel necessary. At times the tone feels slightly too casual. Try cutting unnecessary modifiers ("it goes way beyond", becomes "it goes beyond"). This will help your sections feel professional and hopefully avoid rewrites or removal by other users.

You do not have any sources listed. This needs to be fixed. I would also avoid quoting sources often and instead rewrite the information in your own words.

I think it would be visually appealing if you could add in an image of one of the "notable individuals" if possible. It would make the section feel more impactful.

Overall I think the sections being added bring relevance and intrigue to the article. I think that sources and tone are the largest issues. Great job!