User:MadisonOliver7/Hexactinellid/LanceJAndrew Peer Review
Peer review
Complete your peer review exercise below, providing as much constructive criticism as possible. The more detailed suggestions you provide, the more useful it will be to your classmate. Make sure you consider each of the following aspects: LeadGuiding questions:
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General info
[edit]- Whose work are you reviewing?
MadisonOliver7
- Link to draft you're reviewing
- User:MadisonOliver7/Hexactinellid
- Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Evaluate the drafted changes
[edit]Missing grammatical articles for many nouns.
"Most hexactinellid live in deep waters..."
Needs to be pluralized
"The new regulations prohibit bottom contact fishing within 200 meters of the sponge reefs."
Not directly relevant to the sponges I think, since you already mentioned that the area is protected.
"Experiment using the species Aphrocallistes vastus..."
"Experiment" either needs an article or needs to be pluralized, depending on how many studies
"...have shown that increases in temperature and acidification can lead to weakened skeletal stength and stiffness."
whole rest of sentence is italicized when it shouldn't be.
bibliography dropped in the middle of the draft?
"In the case Rhabdocalyptus dawsoni, the sponge used electrical signaling to detect outside stimuli"
This whole sentence uses past tense when it doesn't really make sense to
" Another species in the same experiment of R. dawsoni..."
ambiguous language. What species?
"...showed that the electrical conduction system for this class of sponges all has its own limit of when they will detect outside stimuli that would cause a feeding halt response."
might try and rephrase this, it doesn't make sense to me.
"Only 33 species of this sponge have ever been reported in the South Atlantic until recently with the Shinkai 6500 submersible expedition through the Rio Grande Rise."
When is recently? Be specific. "Recent" changes based on when you read it.
"Species of zoantharin..."
I'm not sure what "zoantharin" is supposed to be referencing, since it's not formatted like a taxon name. If it's a genus it needs to be capsed and italicized. If it's a family or subfamily you need the whole name there.
"...if these are identified as the same as the ones found in Miami-Torishima, the existence of hexactinellid in the entire Pacific Ocean could be inferred."
Wikipedia REALLY doesn't like "own research" type stuff. Inferences should not be included at all.
"With around 75% of the sponge tissue being fused in this way."
Sentence fragment, also the citation needs to be moved to before the period.
I think the organization works well, but there are some formatting and grammar issues that need to be addressed. Content looks fine, but I think the conservation portion gets a little off topic at times.
Images look relevant, but the bottom one is missing a caption