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Pog Funyun

Pog Funyun is a tiny lumberjack and often overlooked folk hero in American, Canadian, and Bulgarian folklore. His exploits were few and far betweem due to his untimely demise at the hands of George Bigner, creator of the Funyun.

The character originated in the oral tradition of North American Poggers and was later popularized by William B. Poghead. (1970-2019) ina 1996 promotional pamphlet for the Blue Ocean Bumber Company. He is relatively unknown, and has not been the subject of any literary competitions, musical pieces, commercial works, or theatrical productions. His likeness is displayed in several undersized statues across a small town in North America and Bulgaria.

Etymology

There are many hypotheses about the etymology of the name Pog Funyun. Much of the, albeit limited, commentary focuses on a Middle English origin for the name. Phonetically, Funyun is similar to the Eastern Bulgarian expression "Fun Onion!" expressing the name for an onion that is quite fun. The English surname Funyun is derived from the same root as "onion" in the old French oignon, referring to a short onion, or similar root vegetable. There are many skeptics that believe this is not his name at all. (See *controversy*)

Origin

Just as Pog's older brother Paul cut through the Earth with his axe to create the Grand Canyon, Pog himself cut through the finger of George Bigner, giving him the nastiest paper cut he had ever felt in his life. Reflexively, Bigner smashed Funyun onto his desk, killing him instantly. Feeling remorseful, Bigner decided to honor Funyun by naming his up-and-coming snack food Funyuns.

Folklore

The only story about Funyun known to be true was that of his swift and untimely death. After this event, many fans of Pog Funyun, including William B. Poghead, wrote their own popular stories depicting what *could* have been, had he not been so brutally smooshed. These tales consist of Funyun's adventures across the world, mainly Canada and Bulgaria. In Poghead's most popular work, Funyun is depicted having his heart and other organs being torn out by a vulture, much like the ancient Greek's Prometheus. In other less popular works, Funyun is shown to be in jail moments away from recieving lethal injection. The earliest recorded story of Pog Funyun dates back to 1974, where Funyun is depicted to be wiretapping hotel room phones at the Watergate hotel. This ultimately leads to the pardon of Richard Nixon.

Contoversy

Many skeptics believe that Pog Funyun never truly existed. Milton J. Boxhead, the frontrunner of the skeptics, suggests that Bigner simply killed a mosquito and made up the name Pog Funyun to appease his own guilt and protect his reputation after killing a beloved folk hero. Depsite having a large following, many of these claims are unfounded and lack solid evidence.