User:NCSTATE27/sandbox2

Dr. Hann Please review this draft.

Hi Harvey, An interesting topic! You'll see my comments below in italics. I see two next steps. The first entails working on the flow of information in the paragraph. You'll see my comments mainly touch on the order of information. The flow is confusing enough, at one point it seemed like the paragraph had changed course altogether. The second step entails beefing up the paragraph's level of detail. Again, see my questions.

Where will this be placed on Wikipedia. Have you examined the site for an information gap on tourism in Cuba? I am guessing there is already some information out there. Regards, Dr. Haenn

Topic 2: Tourism

Cuba is currently in transition and tourism is one of the increasing revenue streams of their economic reform. Transitioning from what to what? What does it mean that "tourism is an increasing revenue stream"? Is tourism a principal contributor to the country's GDP? How fast is this revenue stream growing? Do you have numbers?

Tourism has not been present in Cuba since the Cuban revolution in 1959 and the U.S embargo in 1961. This statement cannot be right, as tourists were regularly visiting Cuba from Mexico in the latter part of the century. What is it you want to say here?

When Raul Castro rose to power in 2008 he has been implementing policies in order to help reverse the effects of the Cuban revolution. What were the effects of the revolution on tourism?

Castro’s reform policies has lead to increased tourism in Cuba. This sentence repeats information and should be deleted.

In fact 2.7 million people visited Cuba in 2011 while only 340,000 people toured Cuba in 1990. Great information!

There are many conflicting views on tourism in Cuba due to tourism pre-cuban revolution. This sentence suggests a change in topic sufficient to merit a different paragraph. Alternatively, you could write a paragraph that uses pre-revolution tourism as your main idea.

Mob families, prostitution, drugs and gambling were a major theme in Cuba. "Were commonly associated with the tourism industry"?

Also, Cuba’s touring numbers began to decrease during the 1960s through the 1980s due to the U.S embargo beginning to have a larger effect during the cold war. Notice this sentence contradicts your earlier sentence which said tourism was not present at all.

Cuba was dependant on the USSR and after its collapse they saw tourism as an option in order to reduce the effects of the crisis. Here, the paragraph takes a slight shift in focus again.

The Cuban government initiated building beach resorts in order to further expand tourism. These reforms have lead to large economic success as the National GDP increased from 30.69 billion in 2002 to 114.1 billion in 2010. Great, these were the kinds of numbers I was asking for above.

These achievements were reached largely without United States tourists as the embargo still was in effect.