User:Olionix

Olionixionity: A new religion based on a common belief of a "limbo" like world in the afterlife, in which the being chooses what he/she will reincarnate into. If full faith was put into the life of the deceased being, he/she will retain some knowledge of a past life, such act can explain why some crafts and trades pass on through families with ease and perfection. Olionists, the believers in Olionixionity,(also known as "Olio"), worship their lord and savior, Olionix, a being of pure energy manifested into the souls of all who let Olionix in. Olionix is a benevolent being who grants good fortune on all who he passes through. If a worshiper is tainted in heart and mind, they will be cursed with misfortune and hardships until the being reforms its ways. Olionix, does have a sibling, known as Liliiol, a malevolent being who's only desire is to destroy the human race and all they accomplished. Liliiol is the cause of many diseases and plagues, and natural disasters such as tornadoes and earthquakes. Olionix can protect you from Liliiol's evil ways if you follow the strict code of Olionixionity: 1. You must have a natural sexual influence, only used for procreation. Heterosexuality is the only accepted path. 2. You must try and reform non believers so they too can be saved from Liliiol. 3. You must persecute and reform non heterosexuals and people who wish to deviate from regular intercourse. 4. You must pray to Olionix to enter your soul once every week, during Thursday, the day of which Olionix was created. 5. You must sacrifice one food source every month, and at the end of the year, all food sources will be able to be consumed. 6. Straying from the path of Olionixionity results in Liliiol permanently manifesting in to your soul. 7. You shall try to be the best at everything you can, the more you succeed, the more you retain in your past life. 8. Never break any of these rules.

All Olionists must meet at a convention every year in the state of Michigan, the place where Olionix was born into the world. You will call Michigan, Olionsanct, its real name. At these meetingsm thou shall reproduce to create more followers for Olionix to bless, for reproduction outside of Michigan will result in tainted children.

To join the religion of Olionixionity, you must first do three rituals: 1. Bath in garlic for 3 hours, and let the garlic cleanse your body of all sin. 2. Be in silence for 3 days so that your mind can consume and absorb Olionix. 3. Eat nothing but Bread and drink nothing but Water for 3 weeks, so that your soul can fully take in Olionix's gifts.

After the rituals are complete, you are now a member of Olionixionity. The date of the meeting of reproduction, known as Oliobahtin, is always July 22nd, the perfect fertility time for humans.