User:Sun God Jay/Eternity Road (novel)/Sjnickerson Peer Review

Hi Jay,

Prof. H wanted me to go through and "green light" drafts that were ready to start being uploaded to the live Wikipedia pages, but I see you already got a head start on it!

I'm sorry you didn't get a peer review before now, somehow you were only assigned me to review your article. I looked over the two peer reviews you did for others, nice work there.

I saw you found some really interesting quality sources in your bibliography, but it seems they didn't end up being necessary for your edits to the Plot section of Eternity Road (novel).

Maybe you could add a new section so that you can incorporate some of those sources you took the time to find? For example, if you look at either of these "Featured Articles" (the highest quality rating a Wikipedia article can get): The Time Traveler's Wife and Starship Troopers, both of which are also science fiction novels published in the last 70 years, they have Composition and publication/Writing and publication, Plot summary, Setting, Genre, and Reception sections. If you have the time to keep improving your article before the final deadline, I think you could easily compose a solid paragraph or two incorporating one, two, or even all three of your sources in creating a brand-new section. That type of addition to the article would look really good on you!

As for your edits to the Plot section, I do like the way you expanded and refined it! You did a great job of staying neutral and matter-of-fact (the classic Wikipedia writing style, haha). You could do some proofreading just to fix some grammatical and stylistic errors here and there... for instance, you forgot a period after "new civilizations," technically the sentence "Meeting civilizations such as the Illyrian scholars, tribal Tuks and raiders to the remnants of the old world and with their AI and machines which continue to follow their programming" is incomplete (*who* is meeting civilizations?), and "such as Silas falling over the walkway" sounds odd, because we don't know what walkway is being referred to... "a walkway" would sound a little more natural to someone who is reading your article but has never read the book.

But those are just some small things I noticed that can be easily fixed! Just giving you some ideas of what to look for when you proofread your own work.

Thanks for your hard work on this project! Please feel free to let me know if I can help you any other way at all.

--Sjnickerson (talk) 06:28, 19 April 2022 (UTC)