User:Thor Is A Girl

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“Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” Journey Into Mystery #83 (Aug. 1962)

My contributions mostly relate to the comic book universes of Marvel Comics and DC Comics. Here in the realm of the Wickedest of Wikis, with a right fist called “Thisisa” and a left fist named “Minoredit”, I wage war against my sworn enemies: Poser Fanboys and Fangirls who talk the talk and cosplay now that it’s cool, but none of them have ever actually read a comic book, Trade Paper Back, or Graphic Novel even once in their entire lives. Their source of power is the collective consciousness they share with other members of the rapidly increasing number of Abercrombie jeans and designer tees with a popular heroes logo emblazoned on the chest wearing wannabes. Their only known weakness is public humiliation. The most effective method for achieving this is simply asking a single question about plot points that are only found in the comics and never revealed on a TV or movie screen! Their egos implode creating a vortex that sucks all the arrogance out of them as their social status plummets more quickly than Superman recoils from Kryptonite! Alas, even with this weapon enjoying a 100% success rate, we are losing this war. For every wannabe geek publicly humiliated and exposed as an ignorant poser, other heads appear to take the vanquished one’s place. Will enlightenment triumph over ignorance? Will the “cool kids” ever go back to their self-absorption and stop encroaching on the turf once solely belonged by those they rejected? Will I, Thor Is A Girl, prove myself worthy of wielding my Macbook Pro like the mighty Thor wielding his hammer Mjolnir? Only Uatu knows!

<SPOILER ALERT!!!!! IF YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK OR ONLY WATCH THE MOVIES>

It is with great sadness that I must concede that anyone looking to prove their worth must now find non-Thor related synonyms and similes. In just the past two or three years Thor has had an arm amputated and he did little other than scream so loudly I thought Silver Banshee crossed over from DC’s universe for a panel or two. In addition to Thor appearing all too mortal, neither he nor his dad can so much as lift Mojnir anymore. Neither of them were “worthy” anymore apparently. On the upside, Thor was replaced by a ridiculously hot chick, so at least Marvel threw us something we can appreciate in their Thor story line that destroyed the legacy of one of the mightiest heroes in the Marvel Universe. Other than The Incredible Hulk, no other could match his strength or power. Now the Hulk would no longer consider Thor “worthy” of a backhanded slap, much less deserving of an epic battle like we first saw in Journey Into Mystery #112.