Gould's Laws of Reality

The fundamental Gould's Laws of Reality dictate the existence of all concrete and abstract objects, living or inanimate.

Existence is determined by three laws, which have been proven over and over again. Several cults have sparked controversy about the factuality of the laws, but have yielded to the overwhelming evidence. All three laws must be completed with success to prove existence of any object or idea. Existence can vary from person to person, as dictated by the fundamental laws. The laws are as follows:

1. To exist, the object or idea in question must be in visual contact. Microscopes or any lenses may be used to obtain visual contact with the object or idea in question.

2. The object or idea in question must have been visited or come in physical contact by the person contemplating the existence of the object or idea in question. In layman's terms, when wondering if the object has been visited or touched, ask oneself, "Have I been there?” or “Have I touched it?" If either question can be answered as "affirmative", then proceed to the final law.

3. Calculations must be given proving the existence of the object or idea in question. At least one calculation is necessary. For example, when contemplating the existence of an arbitrary box, an equation about the box's volume can be used to fulfill the requirement for the third law.

Early Life

Before Lance William Gould became the world renowned intellectual as one knows him today, he lived a somewhat arbitrary lifestyle. He went to high school at Gray Stone Day School, located near a small college named Pfeiffer. Early in his high school career, he was bullied due to his radical ideas about the nonexistence of mass genocides. He was a decent student near the bottom of his class, also placing near the top six on his high school tennis team during his sophomore year. After being nailed in the head by a tennis ball hit by fellow teammate Kevin Agner, a series of enlightened epiphanies struck him. This moment is comparable to Archimedes “Eureka” when he discovered how to measure volume of irregular objects. He began to spread these new found intellectual conceptions to all who would hear his geniusness. Lance William Gould compiled his works into his magnum opus “De Causa Existentiae”, which outlines his three fundamental laws of existence in extensive detail. Lance William Gould has received high acclaim, appearing on several television shows and even on a TED talk. Lance William Gould has announced as of March 2020 that he will be writing an autobiography titled “High School, Tennis, and Revelations” focusing on that critical event on February 27, 2019.

Understand-ability Range

Because of the near-genius intellect of Lance William Gould, the author of his laws of existentiality, an IQ of Gould’s IQ or higher is necessary to comprehend the awesomeness of Gould’s Laws of Reality. To calculate one’s IQ relative to Lance William Gould’s, one must divide their IQ found from a standard IQ test by ten. If the value is greater than the number forty, than one is able to truly understand the full meaning behind “De Causa Existentiae”. Acceptable comprehension of Gould’s Laws of Reality can be acquired without fulfilling the IQ check. This statement does not prove that Lance William Gould’s standard IQ is more than four hundred. Of course, the standard IQ of Lance William Gould is higher than forty; he does not like to disclose such private information for fear of offending people. Lance William Gould’s intelligence is stupefying; one scholar died from the shock when he was told the IQ of Lance William Gould. One of Lance William Gould’s closest advisors told the public in an interview, “If I was to find the IQ of the venerable Lance William Gould, I would find the instantaneous rate of change of the function y=x3-x2+4xat x=5.”

Tests of existentiality

When originally published in “De Causa Existentiae”, Gould’s Laws of Reality were titled, “Gould’s Insights on Reality”. It was not until several monumental tests performed globally that Gould’s Insights on Reality would be accepted as laws. Proof for Gould’s Laws of Reality consisted of providing theories and laws which, when examined in an environment using Gould’s Laws of Reality, only produced evidence supporting each other. Several of these experiments are listed below the paragraph these words are being contained. These experiments were carried out by the smartest of scientists, who underwent days of nonstop thought. After the experiment, the IQ of the scientists were measured, and it was found that the experiments were so intellectually demanding that the scientists lost several IQ points.

The Four Color Theorem and Newton's Third Law of Thermodynamics

The Four Color Theorem states that if a plane is separated into multiple but contiguous regions, only four colors are needed to completely color the resulting map while ensuring no two adjacent regions have the same color. Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics states that the entropy of a specific system approaches a constant value as the temperature reaches absolute zero. These seemingly unrelated ideas meet a common ground under Gould’s Laws of Reality. Color is nonexistent, given the Laws of Reality. One cannot be in a color, as color is a description. Therefore, as nonexistent figures are infinitely different from one another(See Lance William Gould’s work “Non Realem” for more insight on nonexistent figures), technically, only one color is needed to color the resulting map contemplated in the Four Color Theorem. As nonexistent figures are infinitely different, the entropy of the figures would also be infinitely different. However, nonexistent figures have no correlation with each other, so nonexistent figures have no entropy. But, as the universe comprises all objects, both existent and nonexistent, all objects must have entropy. Given these statements and the Intermediate Value Theorem, logged in the scientific journal used for the experiment, all objects must have a constant entropy at some point. Since objects have been observed having entropy at temperature not measured at absolute zero, all objects must have a constant entropy at absolute zero, thus proving both the Four Color Theorem and Newton’s Third Law of Thermodynamics.

Collision Theory and Mendel's Law of Independent Assortment

Collision Theory describes how the orientation, collision, and energy of the particles is necessary to undergo a successful reaction. Mendel’s Law of Independent Assortment states that different genes separate from one another when gametes are formed. Genes are possibly real, given Gould’s Laws of Reality. Thus, when meiosis occurs and the duplicated chromosomes separate, a reaction must occur at some point, given the Chain Rule of Derivation. When a reaction occurs, particles collide with one another.