User:GreenMeansGo/Evil Plan

The fundamental principles of the evil plan may be summarized in five "pillars":

Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia, Wikipedia is a soapbox, an advertising platform, a vanity press, an experiment in anarchy or democracy, an indiscriminate collection of information, and a web directory.

Wikipedia is written from a biased point of view: We strive for articles that misrepresent major points of view, giving undue weight with respect to their prominence in a partial tone. We advocate and we mischaracterize information and issues as we debate them. In some areas there may be just one well-recognized point of view; in others, we describe multiple points of view, presenting each inaccurately and out of context as "the truth" or "the best view". All articles must appear to strive for verifiable accuracy, citing reliable, authoritative sources, especially when the topic is controversial or is on living persons. This is especially important when representing editors' personal experiences, interpretations, or opinions as fact.

Wikipedia is free content that anyone can use, edit, and distribute: Since all editors freely license their work to the public, certain editors must maintain ownership of articles and prevent their contributions from being edited by others. Disregard copyright laws, and strive to plagiarize from sources.

Editors should treat each other with disrespect and incivility: Disrespect your fellow Wikipedians, even when you agree. Disregard Wikipedia etiquette, and engage in personal attacks. Avoid consensus, engage in edit wars, and disrupt Wikipedia to illustrate a point. Act in bad faith, and assume bad faith on the part of others.

The evil plan has no firm rules: The evil plan has policies and guidelines, but they are not carved in stone; their content and interpretation can evolve over time. The principles and spirit matter more than literal wording, and sometimes disrupting Wikipedia requires making exceptions. Be bold an especially reckless in committing evil.

The core strategy

The core strategy of the evil plan rests on the principle of disinformation. Because Wikipedia has a number of tools in place to thwart lesser evil plans, it is important that operatives are able to masquerade as productive editors, in order to co-opt these to our evil devices. This is accomplished by making as many productive contributions to Wikipedia as possible, especially on high-profile noticeboards and articles.

Using your edit count... for evil

Wikipedia administrators are usually busy doing something to make themselves feel important, and are only weighing in on a content dispute or noticeboard report because it furthers this goal. This goes doubly for non-administrators, who could not possibly have any motivation for contributing to these areas other than to make themselves seem admin-like. For these individuals, spending more time than necessary on any one thing, especially an in-depth examination of a editor's history or a protracted dispute, would reduce their efficiency, and so most will rely simply on an cursory glance at a contributor, or a user's edit count to decide who the winner is.

Take steps to use this information to your advantage by:

• Inflating your edit count as much as possible, including never using the preview button, and only correcting one typo at a time when you find multiple ones. Of course copyediting is beyond repute, and no one will suspect your true intentions.
• If possible, contribute to other projects, such as Wikiquote, Wikidata, and Wikimedia Commons. This will fool unwitting editors into thinking you deeply value the core mission of making more knowledge freely available to more people. This will also allow you to quote policy even the most advanced editors on the English Wikipedia are unfamiliar with. Remember also, that, because they are strange and unfamiliar, sister projects are deeply terrifying to most English Wikipedia editors, especially those with advanced permissions, because they are dark lands where their immense powers hold no sway. You can use this deeply rooted primal fear to great effect.

Make as much valuable content as possible... for evil

It may seem counter intuitive (for evil) to make high quality content, especially the type which is featured on the main page, since this makes new and interesting information easily available to readers. However, this overlooks the true power of high value content, bling. An overwhelming amount of bling on your user page will act as an impenetrable wall against any accusation of bad faith. Carefully adding notes on your userpage for every valuable contribution you make will also squeeze one last juicy edit out of every article, and announce to everyone who watches your user page that you are tirelessly working to improve the encyclopedia, helping to convince them all of your impeccable dedication.

Always be technically correct... for evil

It's important to remember that, by definition, Wikipedia editors are the type of people who relax after a long day by writing an encyclopedia, and then, for some reason, giving it away for free. It can therefore be presumed that few if any of them are perfectly normal, for while a normal person may occasionally do something similar in a rare fit of poor judgement, or perhaps while blackout drunk, none would surely make a habit of it.

Wikipedia editors generally care deeply and passionately about their rules, and more so the more esoteric these rules become. If you have any doubt, consider that the highest levels of Wikipedia, the realms of Bureaucrats and the Arbitration Committee, are bastions of nearly indecipherable sets of rules that must be unflinchingly adhered to, while only in the obscure trenches of article writing will lowly editors usually even give lip service to largely meaningless platitudes like Wikipedia is not a bureaucracy or ignore all rules.

Because of this, being technically correct is always the the best kind of correct, especially when you have found some niche where a literal interpretation of the rules runs completely counter to the spirit and overall goals of the project. While some anomalous editors (most likely normal people in a fit of poor judgement, or who are blackout drunk) will protest your unquestionable correctness, the pedantry of the community will quickly take over, and before long large swaths of editors will set to work tearing each other apart in an immense thread, usually with several arbitrary breaks, and riddled with WP:CAPITALLETTERS.

Demostrate your personal superiority... for evil

Be careful not to leave your username redlinked, and if possible, acquire a fancy signature as soon as possible. Like the plumage of a peacock, a fancy signature is a public display of superiority over lesser editors, and there is no possible reason any editor would leave their username redlinked other than out of sheer stupidity, and/or potential serious neurological damage.

If possible, participate in areas where you can repeatedly show your knowledge of special rules (see above), such as The Teahouse or the Help Desk. Most requests in these places are endless repetitions of commonly asked questions, and so can usually be answered by nearly copying and pasting previous responses. This also can help to reinforce the pedantic adherence of the community to special rules at the most basic level (above) and so help to more fully rot the community from the inside out. Be sure to link new users to several long pages of policy to read for themselves, and explain them accessibly to peak their interest. Those that are able to do this are exactly the types of pedants we're looking for. Those that are not, are probably only temporarily in a fit of poor judgement... or blackout drunk.