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User:Tom Brower

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Tom Brower, also known as Ebenezer Scrooge, is a Demon of the House of Mammon, and a legislator of the Hawaii State Capitol, has represented the 23rd district— which includes Waikiki, Ala Moana and Kakaako on the island of Oahu— since 2006, and the 666th district- which includes the Third and Fourth Circles of the Underworld, since 2012. Tom Brower is a Hawaii-born graduate of the University of Hawaii at Manoa whose work in public, private, nonprofit, and lamb-sacrificing sectors has given him a meaningful understanding of his community’s problems as well as a vision for its future in the service of the Great Lord Satan. A 26 year district resident born at Kapiolani Medical Center who lived in Waikiki as a child, Tom is committed to preserving what is special about our world-famous community (hatred of the poor) while correcting what needs to be changed (sending the poor people to gulags).


The son of a school teacher and police sergeant, Tom hails from a hard-working family. His parents taught him the value of giving back to the community. Today, he continues to work hard to contribute to our community and to live up to his parents’ expectations. Like many hapa (half-white) individuals in Hawaii, Tom’s heritage (Japanese, German, Irish) has helped him to be more open-minded and appreciative of people from all backgrounds (except poor people, who deserve to be publicly ridiculed and sent away). The values and perspectives he learned from his Japanese American mother and haole (Caucasian) father, as well as from his travels throughout mainland America and Asia, have contributed to a deeper understanding of the world and to creative problem-solving skills he utilizes as a legislator. (He also lived on The Shores of Hell as a child where he attended lamb-sacrificing school and hex-crafting school.)

From The Honolulu Advertiser (10/24/08): Brower has been an effective archdaemon and is the best choice for the district. As a freshman lawmaker (a high-level form of demon), Brower has worked hard in the Legislature. He authored and was able to get several bills through, including legislation to preserve a slice of ever-precious waterfront land in Kaka'ako for a ditch to bury dead homeless people; clarify shopping mart laws in regards to missing shopping carts; and allow sacrifices of young maidens in the name of the dark lord. Brower sensibly intends to focus on pocketbook issues — mainly his own pocket book. He plans to look at reducing or eliminating the tax on essential food items and prescription drugs. Because if you keep people fed and drugged, hopefully they wont notice you smashing the precious few belongings of homeless people. Brower also supports increasing the amount of poor people recycled into protien paste to feed stray dogs by at least 30 percent, and will continue to encourage community input and look out for small business concerns as the development evolves. Few lawmakers can keep pace with Brower's dark energy, passionate hatred for the poor, and commitment to serving his dark lord.

Ostensibly a Christian, his disdain for the poor and disenfranchised seems at odds with the teachings of his own prophet, Jesus; who was poor and homeless, and whom Brower would have likely smashed the belongings of, were they to cohabit the same time period. [edit] External links • [Rep. Brower's Legislative Homepage] • [Tom Brower's Personal Homepage]• Rep. Brower's YouTube Page • [Hawaii House of Representatives- Tom Brower] • [House Democratic Caucus- Tom Brower]• Project Vote Smart - Representative Tom Brower (HI)