User:Vishikh

                  DEFINITIONS IN THE MODERN ERA :P ;P

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle. ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions. BOSS: you are late and late when you are early. CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead. CIGARETTE : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. CONFERENCE ROOM : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. DICTIONARY : A place where divorce comes before marriage. DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. EXPERIENCE : The name men give to their mistakes. FATHER: A banker provided by nature. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. LECTURE: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. LIFE INSURANCE : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. LOVE AFFAIRS : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test. MARRIAGE : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. NURSE: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills. OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. OPPORTUNIST : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet. PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. SCHOOL : A place where Papa pays and Son plays. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

HA HA HA