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User:Zzzzzyfffff/Gate of the Ghosts/Serena Chen 009 Peer Review

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General info

[edit]
Whose work are you reviewing?

Zzzzzyfffff

Link to draft you're reviewing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Zzzzzyfffff/Gate_of_the_Ghosts?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
Gate of the Ghosts

Evaluate the drafted changes

[edit]

Hi friend! I am impressed with your work. You have made a good amount of editing in your draft, and I can see that the article has improved a lot. Your content is straightforward and has a neutral tone, which is excellent. I also noticed that you used reliable sources for your text.

One thing I would recommend doing is to check on some little grammatical issues with your text. They are not obstacles for understanding the article, but less grammar issues would make the article flows better. I will help to make some minor adjustments!

Another improvement could be also editing the lead from the original article. I noticed that the language used in the lead is not fluent, and I am sure you can make it better and easier to follow up.

Good work!