User talk:Ajs426/sandbox
Peer Review
[edit]European Migrant Crisis
This article is well-developed and thorough. It is easy to read and provides descriptive information about specific countries and their histories that led to this crisis. You have done a wonderful job further explaining the refugee crisis in Syria and Afghanistan, thusfar.
Just a suggestion, I think you should consider finding other scholarly research on how women and children are affected during these crises. It would be a good addition, in my opinion, to show how this is affecting families and disrupting gender roles (possibly, if families are separated from one another/death occurs).
I think that there is a lot of content in this article. I really appreciate the amount of work other people have contributed and what you are going to contribute. You have a solid approach on improving this article and I agree with your editing ideas. I like how you already formatted the article with the citations and made distinctions between sections and topics. I could definitely apply what you have done to your article with my own articles.
The subheadings are all pretty relevant to the article topic, with a neutral point of view. I think a point of view that is underepressented is the effect of the crisis on women and children. The article is well cited with a manifold of reputable resources. It is nice to see that there is up to date information, all the way to 2017. Have you seen more recent scholarly research about this topic in 2018? It would be a good opportunity to add more recent information so that things are up to date.
Refugee Health
So far, you have created a wonderful outline to restructure this article. I appreciate you focusing on specific topics under non-communicable and communicable diseases, as well as your focus on malnutrition and women's health. It is also good that you are focusing on interventions -- hygiene and sanitation, health literacy, and social support.
Would you also consider looking at scholarly research about community services that exist in different parts of the world? It would be interesting to read about the current existing organizations and how they are dealing with the situation.
I think it would be a great opportunity for you to link this article under the "See also" section of the European migrant crisis. The citations look up to date and from reputable resources. The content is presented in a neutral tone. I think you could incorporate the research about women's health to identify how children might also be affected. This could be beneficial for both this and the european migrant crisis article.
I am excited for you to do your PE research experience as this topic is one that is most definitely difficult yet important for people to realize and help out with.
Lorraineador (talk) 03:43, 19 March 2018 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]What a great topic! I think your article is going to turn out really well. I also think you've done a really great job at sourcing the article with lots of information regarding the refugee crisis, making it touch up on the situation of different countries. — Preceding unsigned comment added by S.sherif (talk • contribs) 02:35, 20 March 2018 (UTC)
My comments for this article is:
1) "Migration to Europe has been ongoing for long." Under this quote, to what extent has it been ongoing for, possibly include dates.
2) The beginning of the refugee crisis paragraph is a little confusing because it starts off from a quote: Currently "Global refugee crisis": "According to the UNHCR, the number of forcibly displaced people worldwide reached 59.5 million at the end of 2014, the highest level since World War II, with a 40% increase taking place since 2011". Possibly begin by giving it some context in the beginning. I also wanted to know what the "+23%" means.
3) You also provide statistics on Syria in the refugee crisis section: "Syrian refugees became the largest refugee group in 2014 (3.9 million, 1.55 million more than the previous year), overtaking Afghan refugees (2.6 million), who had been the largest refugee group for three decades". Maybe you can add this information under the Syrian section since it goes under that topic.
4) There is also a section on Islamic state, which begins with a quotation: ""In 2016, according to the daily, La Stampa, officials from Europol conducted an investigation into the trafficking of fake documents for ISIL". Maybe try condensing it, and saying something briefly on it so that it trasitions smoothly into the next sentence, or give some context first, and then add the quote in. There is a lot of statistics too, and maybe you can summarize them a bit more.
5) "Refugees from Syria, for example, face a very trying migration route"- Does this describe the case for all? And does it display a neutral tone?
6) The section: Health Literacy, needs a citation for this sentence "A cross-sectional study conducted amongst refugees in Sweden, found that 60% of those assessed had inadequate functioning health literacy and 27% of them had inadequate comprehensive health literacy. The study concluded that health literacy should be taken into consideration when assessing refugee health and that more research is needed to assess the current dynamics and develop strategies to overcome the gaps in health literacy amongst refugees.".
I know you are still making developments, but your outline looks really well organized so you have definitely have a structure. I enjoyed it thank you!:)