User talk:Amelmayan/sandbox
Boulevard House Peer Review 1
[edit]Figure or photo should be provided.
Introduction
[edit]The Boulevard House is a two-story, 1,800-square-foot (170 m2) space located at 412 W. Grand Boulevard in the southwest area of Detroit, Michigan. [1] It is a settlement house that creates space for collaboration between the neighborhood located in southwest Detroit [does "the neighborhood" refer to the street on which BH is located, all of SW Detroit, or something else?] and three schools at the University of Michigan: the School of Social Work [1] (SSW); the School of Music, Theater, and Dance [2] (SMTD); and the Penny W. Stamps School of Art and Design [3] (PSSA&D). [2] Since the time of its establishment in the middle of 2012, the Boulevard House has sought to create a place-based space [can you just say "space" rather than "place-based"?] open to develop projects, community engagement, and social change.
History
[edit]If you state that there are 2 social work models, name them both (not just the one in question).
"United Neighborhood Centers for America is the current membership organization of the neighborhood-based organization [this phrase is confusing--"organization" is used twice in close succession, not sure what it refers to] and estimates the number of active settlement houses at approximately 150 across the United States."
Theories and Frameworks
[edit]"Settlement houses are an approach to social work which are defined by praxis: praxis can be thought of as an applied scholarship, in which theories and frameworks are integrated into action." Change to Settlement houses are defined by praxis, which can be thought of as an applied scholarship, in which theories and frameworks are integrated into action.
No citations although text is directly quoted and paraphrased.
The "Theories and Frameworks" section makes little mention of the Boulevard House itself, which makes it appear to stray from the actual topic of this Wikipedia page. Examples of how each theory/framework discussed fits into the Boulevard House could be provided.
Programs
[edit]Language is somewhat obscure in the introduction to this section.
Does not explain how CBI uses the BH.
Critical Exploration
[edit]"As its primary user, El Museo [del Norte was often conflated with] the Boulevard House, leading some in the community to not realize that the Boulevard House had its own mission and goals which were separate from any one project under its roof.
The second paragraph does not adequately explain the BH's partnership with UM before it explains that UM's plans for occupancy were put in question by BH's going on the market.
Bminalga (talk) 02:53, 9 March 2015 (UTC)bminalga
Boulevard House Peer Review
[edit]Introduction: As written, the introduction seems a bit flowery for Wikipedia. I would re-write as something such as (incorporating much of Brian's peer review):
The Boulevard House is a two-story, 1,800 square-foot (170 m2) space located at 412 W. Grand Boulevard in the southwest area of Detroit, Michigan. It is a settlement house that provides space for communication and collaboration among community scholars, activists and residents. The Boulevard House is directly associated with University of Michigan's School of Social Work; the School of Music, Theater, and Dance; and the Penny W. Stamps School of Art and Design. Since the time of the its establishment in the middle of 2012, the Boulevard House has sought to create a place-based space to develop projects, engage community, and support social change.[1]
History
-link to Settlement House Wiki
-"United Neighborhood Centers for America is the current membership organization of the neighborhood-based organization"-this is confusing. Is it the current member organization of the Boulevard House? Since you can link directly to the Settlement House wiki page, maybe you could leave out information about the history of settlement houses (or just put in one sentence) and instead focus on more current iterations of SHs and explain a bit more about what it means to be a member of the United Neighborhoods Centers for America. I suggest this only because I would go directly to the SH page to read about their history.
Purpose
-link to "community-based participatory research" wiki page if there is one. I'm not sure putting "equitable collaboration" in parentheses elaborates much on CBPR but, rather, makes it confusing. Same with "self determination" in parentheses. Also, if CBPR and empowerment evaluation do not have wikis to link to, they need to be explained briefly so people understand what they mean.
-I might actually re-word the introduction to something more like:
"The Boulevard House works for the needs and benefits of the neighborhood and larger community by using the models of community-based participatory research (link to wiki) and empowerment evaluation (link to wiki). These models stem from their utilization in nineteenth century settlement houses. [somehow link the previous sentences to the next] The Boulevard House provides space for observation and discussion while creating opportunities for community engagement, action, and change initiatives. [new paragraph] The premise of community-embedded [based rather than embedded?] praxis [will readers know what praxis is?] reflects five aspects of social change needed to produce positive and sustainable effects on the social, political and economic systems. These five aspects allow residents of the neighborhood to have control over their own environment, and include: comprehensiveness, synchrony, integration, long-term perspective, and inclusiveness. [2]
The Boulevard House uses ongoing community feedback and discovery in Southwest Detroit to build on the settlement house idea. Our [change it to The--"our" exudes ownership, which although Marlena works at BH, it is inappropriate in this circumstance] principles of practice are as follows:
Recognize community as a unity of identity
Build on strengths and resources within the community
Facilitate collaborative, equitable involvement of all partners in all phases of the research and practice
Integrate knowledge and intervention for mutual benefit of all partners
Promote a co-learned and empowering process that attends to social inequalities
Involve a cyclical and iterative process
Disseminate findings and knowledge gained to all partners
Involve long-term commitment by all partners[3]"
Call to Action --perhaps the title could change to "Development of the Boulevard House" to better reflect the section's information.
-'Between 2008 and 2011', not 'Between the 2008 and 2011'"
'"painful abrogation" is a loaded term. Neutralize the statement.
-I would recommend making the first paragraph more succinct. Perhaps something like: "Between 2008 and 2011, the economic downfall of Detroit affected community service programs due to new forms of governance at the municipal level, population declines, and program mergers and closures.
-Add in how CBI relates to BH house--what are they doing with it? Describe *how* they fit in, not just that they do.
-"The Boulevard House was launched in summer of 2012 with a vision of providing a [remove the 'a'] project-based learning and engagement with the surrounding community. Invited to settle in the vacant house owned by People’s Community Services, the project was funded by the School of Social Work in summer of 2012, and the concept [continued to develop, remove 'developed'] developed with a project team at University of Michigan (UM) and a core community committee. The initial stakeholders included: Larry Gant (UM-Social Work and Art & Design), Maria Cotera (UM-Latina/o Studies), Tom Cervenak (People’s Community Services), Mike Garcia (UAW), Mary Luevanos (CLAVE), Lisa Luevanos (CLAVE), Diana Rivera (Michigan State University) and Gloria Rocha (Comite Patriotico Mexicano).
Boulevard House is a call to action to the community, CBI scholars, and all community allies to engage in creative, positive, self-determined change from the ground, up.
Programs
This section seems really long for describing upcoming/current events. Most wiki pages I've seen have a short section that would read something more like "In 2015, the Boulevard Hosts events such as Kaffe Politik (a discussion circle), Salon Saturdays (desc.), neighborhood meetings, Social Cinema (desc.), etc."
Critical Exploration of Project Challenges
-My initial reaction is that this is a very long, paragraph-dense section. The questions at the end of paragraph 3 do not seem like things I've seen on other wiki pages in the past. Overall, I think this section can be shortened. But I'm not sure if it is necessary.
Theories and Frameworks
-fix the reference to Freire
-I think it would be good to explain how the BH in particular lives out these theories. Otherwise, just stating that Settlement Houses support these approaches seems inappropriate for this Wikipedia page. They should be moved to the Settlement House wikipedia page, not the Boulevard House page.
Overall comments:
-Much of the article reads like an academic paper with many transitions and elaborations. Due to this, it does not as an encyclopedia entry. I think that much of it can be written more succinctly and to the point without compromising the quality of the information provided.
-There is a lot of great information--good job!
Srmjohns (talk) 22:10, 9 March 2015 (UTC)
Boulevard House Response 1
[edit]These are good comments. Some items called out are more necessary than they appear, either because they invoke key concepts from other disciplines (space vs place, for example), or because there is a political issue being addressed within the text. Although this is an "encyclopedia," this topic is not neutral as some others are and therefore has an additional burden of presenting certain information....carefully. This entry is more comparable to something like the Biosphere 2 (though with a lot less history). I am trying to integrate much of what you've said. Totally agree, too, about the theories and have been working on making those BH specific/relevant.