User talk:Aper1123/sandbox

Hey!

Okay, so first of all great job on the draft of your editions. I think you outline the Tucson case very nicely. For starters, I would open the Tucson case with something about The House on Mango Street...something like "The House on Mango Street has been subject to negative reception, an example of this was in Tucson, AZ....blah blah blah", the way you have the paragraph set up now makes it read more as a paragraph about the case instead of the book, I also would not mention the part about Bless Me Ultima for the same reason, the fat that our page is first and foremost about the House on Mango Street.

I really like all the hyperlinks you have throughout your draft and I think that those will be great and effective once they are properly placed in the real article. I also know that we are unable to properly cite using Wikipedia footnotes until we publish the article, however, you will be able to cite easily because you did a great job doing preemptive parenthetical citations.

In your second paragraph, I think you touch on a lot of great things but I feel like it isn't deep enough. I would focus on the themes of sexuality and the women archetypes that you discuss in the beginning and leave out the part at the end about age range. It will make your section more focused and allow you go into better detail, like a quality over quantity type of thing!

For specific edits, see email :)Victoriashakespeare (talk) 15:35, 21 November 2016 (UTC)

Hey! I sent a google doc with my edits, let me know if you have any questions. (Jane) Jbv15 (talk) 17:40, 21 November 2016 (UTC)jbv15