User talk:Aplin33/sandbox
Comments
[edit]Aplin33, overall I think the article provides a lot of useful and relevant information and is well-written. Two things need work. The first is the structure. To keep with the Wiki structure, it needs to be divided into smaller sections, so the reader can easily see what content is where. I suggest that, rather than geographic distinctions, you use the distinctions that emerged over time - the shift from early church-related care, and then perhaps voluntary care with specialized doctors in the 19th century, and then increased numbers of children's hospitals and "professionalization" in the twentieth century. Secondly, once you've reorganized a bit, I recommend looking for gaps in the narrative. Your initial bibliography seemed to be much more extensive than the sources you've listed in your references. Can you add more? Was there something particular about Thomas C that makes him worthy of discussing further? Can you link to existing children's hospitals if they have Wiki pages? Can you add some photographs from the Wikimedia Commons? The entry in Paula Fass's encyclopedia on "Children's Hospitals" contains additional information that you could add. Keep up the good work! Cliomania (talk) 06:09, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
Aplin33, interesting read! I wonder if there should be more citations added? It seemed like there were a lot of facts without a footnote so that could be problematic, but I'm not a chicago genius so maybe just check that. I also don't know if you can site wikipedia pages on wikipedia? You linked to other things, which is awesome, but then cited it for the sentence also. I think some ideas could become more concise and some get a little awkward, such as "In order to maintain the cost of running these new hospitals that emerged all throughout the United Kingdom" might benefit from some restructuring. I didn't know about anything from your essay so I thought it was super informative, and that it was more technical issues to work on! Lordofsharks (talk) 05:14, 31 March 2016 (UTC)